TNG Caption This! #369: Ready and able

Discussion in 'The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Jul 21, 2014.

  1. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Crusher: It would be unethical to violate Doctor-Patient confidentiality by telling you Captain Picard's results from his mind meld with Sarek.
    Satie: We didn't ask, Doctor.
    Crusher: However, since I am under oath I can tell you that for some people, sex every seven years is an improvement.
     
  2. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    BEVERLY: Jono, have you ever been in a Tellarite prison?
    TROI: Do you ever hang around the gymnasium?
     
  3. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

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  4. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Beverly: Jono, how long have you felt ill?

    Jono: I can't tell.

    Beverly: You can tell me, I'm a doctor.

    Jono: No, I mean I'm not sure.

    Beverly: Well, can't you take a guess?

    Jono: A...couple of days, I think.

    Beverly: You can't take a guess for a couple of days?
     
  5. Admiral Bear

    Admiral Bear Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Data's idea to romance Tasha to the strains of "You spin me right round, Baby, right round" got a little out of hand.
     
  6. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    LOL Nerys Myk, don't ever stop! [​IMG] Crusher: It would be unethical to violate Doctor-Patient confidentiality by telling you how and when Wesley lost his virginity.
    Satie: We didn't ask, Doctor.
    Crusher: However, since I am under oath I can tell you that it would also require crossing over into some kind of wacky parallel universe.
     
  7. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Crusher: It would be unethical to violate Doctor-Patient confidentiality by telling you who put the bomp in the bomp ba bomp ba bomp.
    Satie: We didn't ask, Doctor.
    Crusher: However, since I am under oath I can tell you who put the ram in the rama lama ding dong.
     
  8. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    First Officer's Log: Don't hit on Lursa in Ten Forward
     
  9. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Crusher: "You want to know of any immoral or unethical behavior I've noticed in any of crew? Hmm. You'd better have some coffee sent in. And probably some sandwiches, too."
     
  10. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Satie: Again, we didn't ask. The question was, "Who wrote the book of love?" And I have a follow up, "Why do fools fall in love?"
     
  11. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    BEVERLY: Dumping Odan because he new host was a woman? Give me a break, it was because the real Odan is just a shrimp without carapace.
     
  12. Honorable Ensign

    Honorable Ensign Commander Red Shirt

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    Dr. Crusher: I've called you all here to announce I've found the ship's chapel.
     
  13. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Data: "Geordie, is masturbation appropriate on the bridge?"

    :)
     
  14. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Thanks for the laugh Leadhead!

    I did some lovely replies to this yesterday, but they seem to have vanished (I think I hit "Preview" rather than "Reply", like a genius), so second time around...

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    Picard: Yes Mr. Data, you can indeed control your console with your detached penis from the other side of the bridge. Now, never do it again.


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    Crusher: Now, all I need to do is take your temperature, so open wide for me.

    Boy: OK, ahhhhhhhh...

    Crusher: No no no, this isn't a mouth thermometer...


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    Riker: I'm telling you, if the Captain ever gets sent on a suicide mission I'll definitely be given the centre seat. There's no way it will go to the old bloke from Robocop.

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    McFadden: So let me tell you about Maurice Hurley...


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    Riker: Hey Worf, I finally found where your dignity ended up!
     
  15. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Picard: Mr. Worf?

    Riker: Yes, Lieutenant, I think you have some explaining to do.

    Worf: Klingon taco farts are the height of honor!!
     
  16. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Troi: "I am sensing desire and ... youthful horny-ness."
    Crusher: "Well he not looking at me."
    Troi: "Nor me."
    Worf (os): "I am becoming uncomfortable."

    :)
     
  17. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

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    Thanks for the win. :)

    [​IMG]
    Worf: Why does everyone always blame me for flatulence? Klingons ANNOUNCE breaking wind.

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    Picard, thinking: Dammit, they've realized it wasn't Worf.

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    Crusher: What do you mean, kissing to make it feel better doesn't work? Every time Jean-Luc gets a headache --

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    Riker, OS: What kind of cocktail recipe needs to be stirred upside down, Geordi?
    Geordi, OS: The kind I invented to haze the night barkeep.
     
  18. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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