TNG Caption This! #368: 8 degrees past 360!

Discussion in 'The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Jul 14, 2014.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    First up to the plate, we have the "Future Knowledge" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Wise Strategies" Award, going to:

    Next, we have "The More You Know" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Communications Difficulties" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Captain's Prerogative" Award, going to:

    The Tag-Team Award, goes to:

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    Many thanks to all of our competitors and congrats to our winners!

    The Finally's series was fun, we'll do another series soon, but for now, lets just have some fun!

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    Worf: Commander, perhaps the reason that Counselor Troi now prefers me over you is my strength, my prowess, my undeniable superiority...

    Riker: (thinking) If Deanna and I ever get back together, I am so going to rub it in his face.

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    Data: Interesting, it appears I am not the only one who requires Engineering tools to properly set their hair.

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    Data: As you can see, the Captain's Spacebook account was hacked. He went from single to it's complicated last night at 0200 hours.

    Crusher: (thinking) Awkward...


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    Picard: What are you waiting for? Sound Red Alert!

    Data: We are watching the History channel, Sir.

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    Captain's Log, I have decided to test my officers to see what station they would take if they had the choice. While most prefer my chair or the tactical position, Lieutenant Yar's results have caused much confusion.
     
  3. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    YAR: I've really got to remember to use deodorant.

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    WORF: One does not do a roll eye during a speech on Klingon honor!
     
  4. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    PICARD: I forget, are we at war with the Klingons right now?
     
  5. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    TFTW, LeadHead!

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    Picard: "No, Mr. Worf, you cannot 'come out and play'! Tell them you are on duty!"
     
  6. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    PICARD: Ok, which one of you did impregnate K'mpec's daughter?
     
  7. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Thanks, Leadhead, for the win!

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    Riker: First Officer's Personal Log: If I have to hear about his "Honor," one more...wait a minute, when he says "my honor" is he talking about his honor or is "honor" a pet name for his Lil' Worf? If it's the latter, I need a better nickname for mine than "Number One..."

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    Picard: Geordi, what do you mean you've tried evasive maneuvers and you still can't shake them?

    Geordi: They keep following where ever we go. It's like, they're some kind of..

    Picard: Don't say it, don't say it...

    Geordi: ...Klingon

    Worf: You have insulted my honor!

    Picard: Oh Worf, leave your penis out of this!


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    Data: Fascinating. May I borrow one of these to attempt a "faux-hawk"?

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    Data: You do realize that I would be more effective if I didn't have you looking over my shoulder?




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    In an alternate universe, Armus killed everyone but Yar.

     
  8. bbjeg

    bbjeg Admiral Admiral

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    ^You read my mind on the Yar solo picture shivkala. :techman:
     
  9. 2takesfrakes

    2takesfrakes Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    "Second Officer's Personal Log:
    The Hair Salon continues to provided clarity for Human expressions whose true meanings have always eluded me. For example: today, in a most efficient manner, 'Good Help is hard to find' and 'The Emporer's New Clothes' were demonstrated, simultaneously."
     
  10. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    DATA: And to think I thought she was a natural redhead.
     
  11. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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  12. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    RIKER: Yes Worf, I received another Captain offer, and no Worf, I'm not taking it, so yes Worf, you're still the chief of security and not the first officer.
    WORF: Wuss.

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    DATA: Interesting. So elaborate hairstyles are considered by many cultures as a form of self expression. Barber, if you don't mind, I will proverbially 'Have what she's having'.

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    BRENT SPINER: Oh, sorry, did the scene start? I lost track of time reading all my fan mail.

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    PICARD: Ahh, crap, it's the Klingons. Worf, find out whatever weird honor thing they're hung up on this time, I'll be in my ready room playing Candy Crush.

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    TASHA: Now that I've had time to reflect on it, I can't stand his views on feminism, but that guy who tried to kidnap me was kinda hot. Note to self: Idea for new holodeck program.
     
  13. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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  14. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    That's because in an alternate universe, I am you, bbjeg!

     
  15. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Tasha: I know my duty shift is over, but I'm not leaving this damn bridge until I find out who won the World C...what? Germany? Dammit! There goes 500 credits down the drain!
     
  16. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    TFTW LeadHead! :techman:

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    Worf: Transvestites named Minuet were a Russian inwention.
    Riker: And there it is.


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    Second Officer's log, supplemental: In my observations of humanoid behavior, I have noted how sexually frustrated crew tend to obsess over completely unrelated personal behaviors. Oh well, time to go wax my violin bow.


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    Riker: - we could beam him into the cave wall and make it look like an accident -
    Beverly: Hey guys what's up?
    Geordi: Ixnay on the ansporter-tray alfunction-may.


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    Picard: Let's mess with them. Should we do 'Ugly bags of mostly water' or 'Darmok?'
    Riker: How about Masks?
    Troi: Or One Moon Circles!
    Picard: Way to suck the air out of the room, Counselor.


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    Yar: Computer, save new radio station buttons and encrypt with my authorization alone.
     
  17. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

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    Riker: Lwaxana Troi is coming aboard.
    Worf: It is not too late to sabatoge a few nonvital systems and insist the ship is too dangerous to take on passengers.

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    Riker: Slow down, Data, what was the next step?
    Worf, grumbling: Every time Starfleet issues software updates for the fleet, the command crew has to be retaught to use the ship.


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    Denise Crosby's conversion of her home into an exact duplicate of the set was flawless, but no matter how long she sat in uniform, it just wasn't the same.


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    Picard: Were we speeding?
     
  18. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    CRUSHER: Damn, they found my profile on Star Date. I knew using "The Dancing Doctor" as a username was a mistake.
     
  19. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Barber: Not everybody keep their genitals in the same place…Commander
     
  20. AgentCoop

    AgentCoop Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Worf: Are we there yet?
    Riker: No.
    Worf: Are we there yet?
    Riker: No.
    Worf: Are we there yet?
    Riker: No...

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    Picard: Mr. Worf, is that ship getting all up in my grill? Because I feel like that ship is getting all up in my grill.

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    Yar (singing softly) : "One is the loneliest number..."