TNG Caption This! #359: Bridge work

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by Santa Garrus, May 12, 2014.

  1. Santa Garrus

    Santa Garrus Calibrating the Holidays Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    LeadHead
    Hello everyone! Just barely getting this contest started before the end of the weekend!


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Sucks to be Geordi" Award, going to:


    Next, we have the "Intro to Human anatomy" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Intro to Large Space Alien/Starship relations" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "That'll be a major Human resources complaint..." Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Hide and Seek" Award, going to:

    Our photoshop Award, goes to:


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    This Klingon was belly laughing at full power over two entries, so both are winners!

    And...

    Thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

    Sorry that I'm cutting it close on getting this contest up and running by weekends end. Busy, busy, busy.

    Happy Mothers Day to any mothers reading or participating in this contest!

    And now, lets spend some time on the bridge!

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. Santa Garrus

    Santa Garrus Calibrating the Holidays Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    LeadHead
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    Picard: Helm, I think we're a little too close to that star...

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    Riker: I'll have the Spaghetti and a Caesar side salad. Now get moving and if Worf orders Gagh, lose his order.


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    Wesley: Whoops!

    Riker: Was that Lwaxana's shuttle we just crashed in to?

    Picard: Dang, I might have to be thankful to the kid.

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    Captain's Log, supplemental. After returning safely to the Enterprise I silently ordered my staff to place the aliens that abducted me into a forcefield. It's been 6 days since we captured them and the floor show has been amazing the entire time.

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    Worf: Captain, incoming message from Commander Shelby. She wants to know what time would be convenient for her second interview...

    Riker: What job is she interviewing for?

    Picard: Awkward...
     
  3. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    If you want it
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    PICARD: I don't recall Kirk's old log entries having this much lensflare before

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    RIKER: With this I can control the turbolift doors, Open. Close. Open. Close.

    WORF: What the ....

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    ALIEN: Look I know the fix is in and the Orion girls are gonna win, so why are we bothering?

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    RIKERL Hey, you're right, I can see my reflection.

    PICARD: You do realize I can hear you?

    TROI: Awkward.
     
  4. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2004
    Location:
    Patrolling Sector 2814
    TFTW, Leadhead

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    Picard: That ship blew up real good!

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    Riker: Just a few seconds more, Ensign. Once Worf is gone, the party starts. He's such a snitch!


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    Picard: Hey, wait, that's the last McDonald's for 50 light years. Helm, hard to port!

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    Alien: Now, see if you can get this one..."I could'a been a contender! I could'a been somebody!"

    Picard: Data, you are no longer allowed to pick the entertainment.

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    Riker: Commander's Personal Log: I know that contact is somewhere around here. I just have to convince Worf that I'm checking the sensors for a few more minutes.
     
  5. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 20, 2005
    Location:
    Heart of Dixie
    Thanks for the belly laugh! :D

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    Lwaxana, on-screen: Jean-Luc, I'm waaaaaaiting.
    Worf: It may be the only way to get her to stop, sir.
    Picard, resigned: But soft, what light through yonder window breaks? It is the sunrise, and Lwaxana is the sun.
    Lwaxana, on-screen: Oh, Jean-Luc!
    Picard, quietly: Engines for emergency warp, full escape velocity, any direction.
     
  6. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Location:
    Quebec City
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    PICARD: It's the rule guys! The spotlight has stopped on you! You must make-out together!

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    PICARD: There are four lights! **sobbing**
    YAR: Pretraumatic stress disorder is really the scourge of the 24th century.

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    CAPTAIN/FIRST OFFICER/SECURITY OFFICER'S LOG: I can't stay another hour in that damn Priapism system.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: May 12, 2014
  7. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    TFTW, LeadHead!

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    Picard: "Well, I'll be damned! For years now, I've just assumed he was a pompous, egotistical blowhard. But it turns out the sun really does shine out his arse!"


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    Data: "I am curious, Captain. Which do you think is more ugly, their faces or their outfits?"
    Picard: "IDIC forbids me from saying, Mr. Data."


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    Worf: "Commander, I agree that is an 'exquisitely dramatic pose,' but I really do need to get to that control panel!"
     
  8. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    If you want it
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    RIKER: Force to work the tactical station! Is there anything lower than that?

    WORF: Hey!!!!!
     
  9. jep

    jep Captain Captain

    Joined:
    May 22, 2005
    Location:
    Southeast USA
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    Picard: "Mr. Worf, gambling while on duty is not allowed. Please stop wagering with Commander Riker."

    Worf: "But sir, he's wants to bet me 100 bars of gold pressed latinum that he can smash the console in two with his forehead."

    Troi: "I'll take some of that action"

    Picard: "Here, here."


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  10. jep

    jep Captain Captain

    Joined:
    May 22, 2005
    Location:
    Southeast USA
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    Worf: "Commander, I... "

    Riker: "Gimme..... juST... a MINute.... Worf......JUSt.... a... minute. Yeah... that's it punk..... that's it... work that tongue."

    Worf: "Commander, is that Wesley Crusher down there?"

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  11. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Location:
    Quebec City
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    WORF: Commander, on a Klingon ship, when a First officer has to puke, he chooses a better spot than his Captain's head.
     
  12. jep

    jep Captain Captain

    Joined:
    May 22, 2005
    Location:
    Southeast USA
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    Aliens: "Duke, duke, duke, duke of earl..."

    Picard: "(Sigh) I hate open mic nights..."



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  13. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Location:
    Quebec City
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    TWIN 1:..the alien...
    TWIN 2: What?
    TWIN 1: Why did you interrupt me Lien?
    TWIN 2: Because you talked to me, you said "Hey Lien"!
    TWIN 1: I said "Alien", not "Hey Lien"!
    TWIN 2: You just said "Hey Lien" twice!
     
  14. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    If you want it
    TROI: You shouldn't have made Riker angry. You won't like him when he's angry.
     
  15. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Picard: "I'm sorry, gentlemen, but Guinan has management authority over Ten Forward and she feels that hiring you to provide live entertainment would seriously depress her food sales revenue."
     
  16. anthony_lynch15

    anthony_lynch15 Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Mar 21, 2014
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    Picard: For gods sake Tasha, turn the screen brightness down!

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    Riker: Is it just me or is this latest iPad a step backwards?

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    Riker: I really do think we should get some seatbelts for exactly this type of situation.
    Worf: At least you have a chair sir.
    Picard: Are you harping on about a bloody chair again Worf. I've never heard so much moaning from an officer in all my life!
    Worf: I'm just saying sir, that it'd be handy if I could actually operate my console during a crisis, instead of holding on to it for dear life.



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    Picard: Dance!
    Alien: There seems to have been a miscommunication. You're universal traslator has misunderstood my position amongst our people. I'm not an exotic.....
    Picard: I said DANCE!

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    Riker: All systems ready sir.
    Picard: Number One, you may proceed.
    Riker: Yes dad....I mean Captain, yes Captain!
    Picard: Well, ummm, I a ummm.
    Worf: Awkwaaaaard!
    Troi: Don't be mean Worf, I think it's sweet that Will sees the Captain as a father figure.
    Picard: ..........
    Riker: ............
     
  17. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Thanks for the win!

    Riker: "Mr. Worf, why are you peeing on my shoes?"
     
  18. Nebusj

    Nebusj Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2005
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    ``All right, Wesley, what's the bright idea?''
     
  19. Mojochi

    Mojochi Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2007
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    Picard: Geordi's visor link gives me a headache. Never use it again.

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    Riker: Good work, Lieutenant. If you only knew what I usually had to try to read in most of the tactical reports


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    Riker: Trust me, you can 't see up her skirt from here

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    Picard: If I told you I could remove the atmosphere from the containment field would that change your minds about the dance number?

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    Captain's Log: The ongoing implementation of the downwind "Flatulence zone" is a welcome success for both the Counselor & myself
     
  20. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    If you want it
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    A'Bot: Well, let's see, we have on the bridge, Who's at conn, What's at Ops, I Don't Know is at tactical...

    Kos'TelO: That's what I want to find out.

    A'Bot:: I said, Who's at conn, What's at Ops, I Don't Know is at tactical...

    Kos'TelO: Are you the First Officer?

    A'Bot:: Yes.

    Kos'TelO: And you don't know the fellows' names?

    A'Bot: Well I should.

    Kos'TelO: Well then who's at conn?

    A'Bot: Yes.

    Kos'TelO: I mean the fellow's name.

    A'Bot: Who.

    Kos'TelO: The guy at conn.