TNG Caption This! #353: Time Capsule: Part 4

Discussion in 'The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Mar 30, 2014.

  1. Holdfast

    Holdfast Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Location:
    17 Cherry Tree Lane
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    RIKER: Join Starfleet and see the universe, they said. Meet interesting people and influence galactic events, they said. What do I get? Rocks.



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    Auditions for the 24th century Matrix remake were progressing well.



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    CRUSHER: We will never speak of this again.
    WORF: Don't worry, I'm not proud of it either.



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    DATA: Yeah, you're both my bitches now.



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    RIKER: It's true; UV light does age you.
     
  2. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Quebec City
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    RIKER: It's time to make a lot of The Empire Strikes Back references.
    **Data uses the Vulcan nerve pinch on Riker**
    ALLENBY: Thank you!

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    DATA: Commander Riker, the ship no longer appears on our sensors.
    RIKER: They can't have disappeared. No ship that small has a cloaking
    device.
    DATA: There is no trace of them, commander.
    WORF: Sir, Admiral Nechayev demands an update on the pursuit.
    RIKER: Get a shuttle ready. I shall assume full responsibility for losing them, and apologize to Admiral Nechayev. Meanwhile, continue to scan the area.
     
  3. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Finn

    You should have posted this within five minutes after Leadhead started the new contest :vulcan:

    :p
     
  4. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Out of my brain on the 5:15
  5. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Rekindling the light of civilization
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    Data: Holding position near the assholes, sir.
    Riker: You mean asteroids?
    Data: Yes, those too.


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    Data: Tasha warned me of how seriously your planet takes its limbo contests.
    Ishara: And our Fiesta deck shuffleboard is no cakewalk, let me tell you.
    Data: Rape gangs?
    Ishara: Ya think?


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    Crusher: - And don't worry, Worf. I won't tell anyone about your downsized testicle.
    Worf: Redundant!
    Crusher: Potato, mugato.


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    Worf: If we were on a Klingon world, you would commit ritual suicide before asking to be carried.
    Data: Good. Now sing Soft Kitty.


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    Riker: And no one will notice the dye job?
    Romulan: Not unless they have weird alien powers that can visually process wavelengths of 400-700 nanometers on the EM spectrum.
    Riker: But we humans do that all the time!
    Romulan: Oh. Have you considered a Porsche?
     
  6. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    DATA: Hurry up young men, I don't wanna miss Matlock!
    WORF: Sir, his eyes...he has cataracts!!!!!
    RIKER: Why should he get possessed each by an old scientist each time he meets one?
     
  7. anthony_lynch15

    anthony_lynch15 Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

    Joined:
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    Riker:
    I could have sworn there was a planet here yesterday?!?


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    Data thought an element of danger might make limbo dancing more interesting.

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    Crusher: I'm removing you from active duty until we know more.
    Worf:
    Did you know that a Klingon born with red hair is immediately killed lest shame be brought down on the family's house?
    Crusher: Yes, you have in fact mentioned it before.

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    Data: Commander Worf? Commander Riker? What are you doing?
    Riker: Ummmmmm, this is all part of your dream program Data.
    Data: I see. Then you may proceed.

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    Doctor:
    This is a nasty head lice infestation you've got here. Have you been in physical contact with any Klingons lately?
     
  8. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Out of my brain on the 5:15
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    RIKER: Wow, you can find anything on ebay.
     
  9. Vassa

    Vassa Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
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    [LEFT][​IMG]
    Riker
    : Nice thinking, Data! I had no idea how I was going to pay that bar tab.

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    Data: I take it your date with Geordi did not go well?

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    Worf: Tell the boy if he reconfigures any of my Holo-deck exercise programs again, I will kill him!
    Beverly: Now Worf, it can't be that bad! What did he do?
    Worf: He re-programmed all of my opponents to look like "My Little Pony" and dis-engaged the safety protocols. He has NO HONOR!

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    Worf : Whatever you're doing, Commander? Data seems to be enjoying it.
    Riker : I'm turning him on.
    Worf : That would explain the grin.

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    Voice off-screen: Answer the question or we'll muss your hair!!
    Riker: Go ahead and try!


    [/LEFT]
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2014
  10. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    DORN: You know mister Bowman, I can carry Brent alone, I did it in season 2. I find this way too risky for Jonathan's back.
    FRAKES: Don't worr**Crack** aaaargh
     
  11. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Data: Sorry Ishara, but the way you are using fireworks is wrong.
     
  12. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Data: Mother told me not to marry a military man. A lover in every port, she said.
    Worf: Your mother was a meddlesome toaster. I mean - STOP IT!
     
  13. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Quebec City
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    DORN: No way I will ever wear an old-man sweater.
    FRAKES: Me neither!
    [​IMG]
     
  14. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Worf: For the record, Klingon warriors do not wear clean underwear.
    Crusher: I know.
     
  15. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Worf: "Is there anyone on this ship who doesn't have their walls decorated with cheesy space posters?"
    Crusher: "Says the man with the Kahless-on-velvet painting in his living room."
     
    Last edited: Apr 4, 2014
  16. anthony_lynch15

    anthony_lynch15 Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

    Joined:
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    Editing yours Jonas Grumby because I thought of something amusing while reading it.

    Worf: "Is there anyone on this ship who doesn't have their walls decorated with cheesy space posters?"
    Crusher: "That's a window Worf!"
     
  17. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    The visitor's bullpen
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    Worf: Doctor, please open the door. I'm due on the bridge.

    Beverly: ...

    Worf: Doctor, I demand you release me at once! I must not miss my duty shift!

    Beverly: ...

    Worf (sighs): Very well. I promise never to make fun of the way you say CWAY-SAWNT ever again. Are you satisfied?
     
  18. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    First Officer's Log Supplemental: Troi badly misunderstood me when I asked her if she'd like to get my rocks off...


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    Data: You sister shot something very different into my face.

    Ishara: Shut up!


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    Worf's Personal Log: Getting my annual prostate exam from Doctor Crusher is just too embarrassing, I'm going to have to put in for a transfer to a place where the CMO isn't going to so much as slightly arouse me when they stick their finger in my Great Hall.


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    Frakes: ...And this is for getting more plots than us!


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    Riker: You wouldn't think it, but using a holodeck always adds a surprising amount of age to my look.
     
  19. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Riker: "No. BUD light."

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    Nerds...In...SPAAAAAAAACE!!!!
     
  20. Honorable Ensign

    Honorable Ensign Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
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    "Nice choice of screensaver, sir."
     

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