TNG Caption This! 347: Better than ever

Discussion in 'The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Feb 18, 2014.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    Hello everyone! Sorry I didn't make get this going by sunday night, but since this is a holiday weekend for most, it's still kinda on the weekend...


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Trial Run" Award, going to:

    Next, we have "The Klingon who Shagged me" Award, going to:

    Next, the two top captions for this next photo were both from the same competitor, so I'm making both entries winners!

    Next, we have the "Warm-Up Act" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "And then he kicked his own tires" Award, going to:

    The Photoshop Award, goes to:


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    Congratulations to all of our winners and many thanks to our all of our competitors!

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Worf: Captain, receiving a message from Vash, she is curious if you are still exclusive.

    Picard: (thinking) Dangit.

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    Jono: How breakable is this? Lets find out!

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    Worf: Sir, it appears that the stream does not actually contain beer.

    Riker: Dang, false advertising again.


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    Picard: Somebody named Neelix said I should try this "Leola root."

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    Picard: I have not slept with Beverly and may the lord strike me down if I lie-
     
  3. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    The visitor's bullpen
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    Riker: Wrong movie, V'Ger!!!
     
  4. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Location:
    Quebec City
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    RIKER: Is this really Beverly Hills, mister Worf?
    WORF: According to the tricorder, we're on a private property on Beverly Hills. It explains the fake waterfall.
    RIKER:O'BRIEN, YOU IDIOT! We were talking about Beverly CRUSHER breasts, not Beverly Hills, Los Angeles.
     
  5. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    WORF: O'Brien says your Viagra was just beamed aboard. He wants to know who's quarters to send it to.
     
  6. Gep Malakai

    Gep Malakai Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2007
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    Worf: Commander! The hills! They're...alive.

    Riker: Some kind of silicon-based lifeform, Lieutenant?

    Worf: No, sir. Tricorder indicates it is the sound of music!


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    Last edited: Feb 18, 2014
  7. Avro Arrow

    Avro Arrow Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jan 10, 2003
    Location:
    In Diefenbaker's Nightmares
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    Picard was rather dismayed to find Jono handling Picard's rare Kurlan sex toy.

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    Worf: Sir, the tricorder is indicating this stream contains almost 100% hydrogen oxide! I suspect deliberate contamination!

    Riker: <sigh>


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    Captain's Personal Log, supplemental. Note to self: No matter how much I enjoy Bounty bars, do NOT eat any I find lying around in caves.

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    Picard: Now, everyone, watch my impersonation of the main deflector dish!

    Riker: Uncanny!
     
  8. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
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    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    TFTWs, LeadHead!

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    Data: "Automatic upgrade download for his mechanical heart?"
    Troi: "We can only hope, I guess."
     
  9. Roddenberry

    Roddenberry Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Feb 6, 2014
    Location:
    Bristol, UK.
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    Picard: Do not get on the turbo lift Mr Worf, that's an order.
    Crusher: It doesn't smell that bad Jean-Luc.

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    Picard: Oh it's awful, I'm calling the fashion police, shoulder pads, leather gloves and that haircut makes me glad I'm bald

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    Riker: What is it Mr Worf?
    Worf: Strange readings sir, the rocks seem to be made of polystyrene and this liquid is Perrier.

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    Picard: The normal ones are awful biscuits, but these double stuf are far worse.
    .
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    Frakes: Don't worry every one, I've heard this is how the English regnerate.
     
  10. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
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    In 400 years, Charlie Brown's luck with kites only got worse.
     
  11. 2takesfrakes

    2takesfrakes Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2013
    Location:
    Philadelphia, PA
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    "You just made me throw up in my mouth, a little."
     
  12. 2takesfrakes

    2takesfrakes Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2013
    Location:
    Philadelphia, PA
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    Jono finds the secret button on the faux artifact that plays back a private message from Vash, "Jean Luc, remember how we would play 'Archeologist' in your quarters? Where I would remove layers of overburden - I mean your pants - until I discovered an ancient bone! Or, maybe a Royal Scepter. Then I would polish it, until it was all nice and shiny ..."
     
  13. 2takesfrakes

    2takesfrakes Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Philadelphia, PA
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    "There can be only one ... Highlander!"
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2014
  14. 2takesfrakes

    2takesfrakes Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 13, 2013
    Location:
    Philadelphia, PA
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    "Mister Worf, use your tricorder and tell me if the age of these rocks are circa the 1960s."

    "... Confirmed, Sir."
     
  15. 2takesfrakes

    2takesfrakes Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Philadelphia, PA
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    "Worf! You called me up here, because you said the Captain had lost his mind ..."
     
  16. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Finn
    Thanks for the Log Win

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    Picard: You have the bridge, Mr. Worf. Whatever you do, don't let Deanna drive.

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    Captain's Log: Jonos has the most disregard for archaeological artifacts. He just tossed an ancient Denobulan compass on the couch. I cannot fathom tossing a dear and valuable artifact.

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    Riker: I hate it when running water makes me want to go to the bathroom

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    Picard: Tastes like Riker's cooking
    .
     
  17. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Quebec City
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    LEADHEAD: Picard, you ungrateful bastard! I gave you the "The Klingon who Shagged me" Award and you didn't even thank me.
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    And he remained to shy to talk to the Little Red-Haired Girl.
     
  18. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    To the Bat Tank!
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    Worf: Sir, if you halt the turbolift between decks to have a "sincere moment" with the doctor again, be advised that I will be monitoring the visual pickup at all times.

    Crusher: It was a medically-authorized spot check!


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    Picard: Oh - my - Shakaree - that outfit is to die for!
    Jono: It's from the Insolent Cadet line at Old Space Navy.


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    Worf: According to these readings there's a hitch in the crevice.
    Riker: Bad day to wear speedos. <Lunges>


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    We're trapped, people. Starfleet survival 101, start looking for edible roots.

    <Bites, spits>

    Screw that! Start screaming like little girls for help!


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    Troi: I'm sensing some distress.
     
    Last edited: Feb 19, 2014
  19. Holdfast

    Holdfast Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2000
    Location:
    17 Cherry Tree Lane
    TFTBLW! :D



    A vaguely 80s/90s/commercials theme to today's captions:

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    CRUSHER: Head & Shoulders, Worf?
    PICARD: But he doesn't have dandruff!
    WORF: Exactly.



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    JONO: Sega joystick?
    PICARD: Yes. The more you play with it the harder it gets.



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    WORF: Bah, it's mineral water but I prefer the fizzy kind.
    RIKER: Starfleet really has made you soft.



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    PICARD: I can believe it's not butter.



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    PICARD: Care... Bear... STARE!
     
  20. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Finn
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    More evidence Voyager was ripping off TNG: A scene from an episode that was dropped halfway through taping...

    Riker: Well?

    Worf: I'm finding traces of those androgynous salamander creatures Wesley and Picard turned into...They must have entered the pond by sliding down this.

    Riker: I don't know how I'll explain this in the report

    Worf: I look forward it...sir