TNG Caption This! 346: Lovey Dovey

Discussion in 'The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Feb 10, 2014.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    Hello everyone! Lets see what Picard has to say....


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Redundant Riker" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Not always the ideal officer" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "CSI: TrekBBS" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "What could possibly go wrong?" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Medical evaluation" Award, going to:

    The Photoshop Award, goes to:


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    Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

    And now, with Valentines Day (or Singles Awareness Day) depending on your interpretation on the horizon, it's time for our annual salute to (Or opportunity to make fun of) love!

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Riker: Computer, delete Picard.

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    Worf: Romulan Vessel, it is a good day for YOU to die. Fire all phasers!


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    Picard: It's been a lovely evening. Now get out.

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    Worf: (over comm) Worf to Henshaw, per your request, we are standing by to beam you out on your order.

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    Riker 3....2....1.

    Data squirts self with bottle

    Troi: Best date ever.
     
  3. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2004
    Location:
    Patrolling Sector 2814
    TFTW, Leadhead

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    Captain's Log: For some reason, I feel like a third nacelle. Though, come to think of it, that would be pretty awesome. Imagine the Enterprise with a third nacelle. Ooh, and a kickass phaser emitter. That'd be awesome! That's it, I'm staying, because I may be a third nacelle, but the third nacelle is what makes everything awesome. Well, that and my huge phaser emitter, if you know what I mean...and I think you do.

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    K'Ehleyr: Okay, Worf, we're done here. Let's go.

    Worf: I, um, something came up, I'd prefer if you went first and then I join you later.

    K'Ehleyr: Oh for Kahless' sake!

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    Beverly: Oh, Jean-Luc, we all know you are an alien duplicate meant to hide the fact that our real Captain was kidnapped, but the crew voted and we want you to stay. Shall, we celebrate?

    Picard Duplicate: Oh, yeah!

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    Geordi: From past experience, you'll want to drink a few of these. The only dates I've had have been pretty drunk.

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    Data: ♫ ♪ I feel pretty, Oh so pretty. I feel pretty and witty and bright, And I pity Any girl who isn't me tonight ♪ ♫
     
  4. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
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    Austin, TX
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    Captain's Log: Next time, I'll have Minuet recreated in Beverly's image

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    Marshal: *at the Minneapolis Comics Con* This is great, Mom! They did a great job making me look like Worf. You look just like K'Ehleyr, Mom




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    Riker: Dude... She's not going for it this time around
     
  5. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    WORF: A traditional Klingon woman would expose more cleavage.

    K'EHLEYR: How about we see how far these boots can go up your traditional ass!
     
  6. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Location:
    Quebec City
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    WORF: Klingon and Entreprise's bridge fetishes? Your Pon Farr is full of honor, Selar!
     
  7. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

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    Minuet: "I may be a computer-generated hologram, but even I'm having a hard time getting 'in the mood' with your captain staring at me like a lion staring at a gazelle."
    Riker: "We don't mention gazelles in Starfleet anymore."


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    Worf: "I love it when you're butch!"


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    Picard: "Next time you're in the mood for a little role-playing, I just read a fascinating entry from James Kirk's old Enterprise logs about a place called the 'Mirror Universe' and something called a 'captain's woman.'"


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    LaForge: "And don't worry, I would never even think of trying anything improper with a sweet, wholesome girl like you--"
    Henshaw: "I think I've got sand in my coochie!"


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    Riker: "This should make for an interesting scent. Eau de perfume combined with Cosmoline."
    Troi: "Very fetching!"
     
  8. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Location:
    Quebec City
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    WORF: I have the trenchcoat, so I'M Kruge, you're Maltz!
     
  9. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Just passing through.
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    Minuet: So is your Captain really French?
    Picard: Uhh, ménage à Troi.
    Minuet: Close enough.


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    Worf: Your House or Mine?
    K'ehleyr: Take my Worf - please!


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    Jean Luc: I see you like planting flowers. How do you feel about pruning hedges?
    Beverly: I don't bother.
    Jean Luc: Ooh la la.


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    Geordi:
    Emotive. Electro-chemical stimulus-response.
    Christy:
    Cranial plate.
    Geordi:
    Bipedal locomotion. Endoskeletal.
    Christy: Contiguous external integument.
    Geordi:
    Hierarchical collective command structure!
    Christy: Interrogative.
    Geordi:
    Big boobs.
    Christy: You always ruin Cytherian Charades.


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    Troi: And Noonian Soong funded all his research programming apps for Calvin Klein?
    Riker: Yep.
    Data: Try Obsession? Dammit!
     
  10. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Location:
    Quebec City
  11. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    CRUSHER: Not many men can pull off that color. And by not many, I mean the Joker and Prince.

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    HENSHAW: This is the best Love Boat holo program I've see. It's like I'm actually in Puerto Vallarta.

    LAFORGE: Your drink.

    HENSHAW: Thank you Issac.

    LAFORGE: Wait...what?
     
  12. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Austin, TX
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    Meanwhile, at Starfleet Academy...

    Cadet's Log: We found this weird place somewhere in Uganda over the weekend where there was supposed to be an old Bolian monk living in the jungle. She read my palm and said my mother was with my father now. I tried to get in touch with the Enterprise. But they were out of range. So I am starting to worry
     
  13. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Location:
    Quebec City
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    In another universe, Picard is married, but always on "business trip".
     
  14. Mojochi

    Mojochi Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2007
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    Riker: I dream of a galaxy where your eyes are the stars and all the universe worships the night... You are the heart in my day and...

    Picard: Nope still not working. Let's go back and try it with Guinan again

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    Worf: Engage

    K'Ehleyr: I said no

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    Picard: Please let go, before you dislocate another knuckle

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    Those awkward few seconds before you accept when you consider whether there may be Rohypnol in your drink

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    Troi: How long has he been there tying to make himself sneeze?

    Riker: 3 days. I just can't look away
     
  15. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    TROI: I filled it with an epoxy. He'll need a laser scalpel to open his eyes.
     
  16. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Henshaw: "I can't take anymore of this! Computer, activate 'Sand-Kicking Bully' sub-routine!"
     
  17. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Just passing through.
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    Minuet: And the Captain made him an Acting Ensign and let him fly the ship?
    Riker: Yep.
    Minuet: Let me guess. To make First Contact with the Milf planet.
    Riker: Ha, he wishes. More like Starfleet Command's General Order Seven.
    Minuet: "No vessel under any condition, emergency or otherwise, is to visit Talos IV." Ouch.
    Picard: I'd break her like the prime directive.


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    K'Ehleyr: It was the leather armor.
    Worf: Oh? So it doesn't smell like wet targ entrails in here?


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    Beverly: Oh I misunderstood, I thought you said you wanted to be my backdoor Picard, not sell door-to-door unitards.
    Picard: Shall I go?
    Beverly: I didn't say that.


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    Geordi: Another Co-Co-No-No?
    Christy: Gee, I was really looking forward to some fungus.
    Geordi: That hasn't even happened yet!


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    Troi: Should we tell him it's Horta pheromone?
    Riker: Nah, let him figure it out on his own.
     
  18. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Worf: "Know what I'd like to do to you? I'd like to untie that sash, unfasten those shoulder pads, slip off those gloves, unsnap that battle vest, pull off those boots, unbuckle that belt... I forgot where I was going with this."
     
  19. Holdfast

    Holdfast Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2000
    Location:
    17 Cherry Tree Lane
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    PICARD (thinking): I want to go and create my own holodeck sex-doll. But I also like to watch. Decisions, Decisions...



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    K'EHLYER: Really? Even in this uniform? I'm up here Worf.



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    CRUSHER: You want me to put my hand where?!



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    HENSHAW (laughing): Computer, end simulation!
    HENSHAW: God, he gets lamer every time I replay it.



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    RIKER: It's the Tsiolkovsky virus. Hey, don't laugh, it got him laid once, it can do it again!
     
  20. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Minuet: "Don't you think having your captain here for this is a bit creepy?"
    Riker: "Oh, he's a hologram, too! I just like having him around."
    Minuet: "Now that's really creepy!"
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2014