TNG Caption This! 325: To Glory

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Aug 26, 2013.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    Hey, I'm somewhat on time for once!


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Honorable Prayers" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Not so scary" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Ouch! That's gotta Hurt" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Upgrades" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Cold Case" Award, going to:

    Our Photoshop Award, goes to:


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    Congratulations to our winners! Many thanks to everyone who participated!

    I can't guarantee the same punctuality for next weekend, but I'll do my best. ;)

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Data: It has been your move for 47.2 minutes. I believe we have found something that you stink at.

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    Worf: For an android, he's surprisingly easy to carry.

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    Rikers popularity was low during some episodes of TNG.

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    Picard: Yeah, I just saw you make out with that girl. And no, I'm not gonna tell your mother. Sorry but, your love life is just not that interesting.

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    Picard: Doctor...

    Crusher: Sorry, apparently we don't have clothes for patients in the 24th Century.
     
  3. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    WES: Shouldn't we be thinking about how to get out of this asteroid belt?

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    WORF: I'll be in my bunk.

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    CRUSHER: Deanna didn't get the full inoculation after returning from Risa.
     
  4. TorontoTrekker

    TorontoTrekker Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 15, 2002
    Location:
    Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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    The Selay ambassador was determined that he would have the first dance with Riker during the Enterprise's inaugural Saturday Night Rave.
     
  5. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    The visitor's bullpen
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    Worst. Backrub. Ever.
     
  6. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
  7. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
    TFTW, Leadhead!

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    Data: You have used my Queen's gravitational pull as a slingshot. Excellent!



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    Riker: You think Data will ever figure out we've got a whole cargo bay full of disposable androids?

    Worf: No, the "unique lifeform" shtick is too seductive. Like we can't replicate matter at the atomic level, let alone some reject from the Country Bear Jamboree.


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    I have had it with these motherf***ing snakes on this motherf***ing starship!


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    Wesley: We have to stop meeting like this.
    Picard: Captain's prerogative.


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    Beverly: They are from a time before genital shaving was common.
    Picard: I know, why do you think I came all the way down here.
     
  8. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    TFTW, LeadHead!

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    Riker: "Really? He has to be plugged in to recharge? I had no idea! So...where's his plug?"
    Worf: "You don't want to know, sir."


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    Crusher: "No, Captain. I've scanned them. They don't have any '20th century cooties.'"
    Picard: "Good, good..."
     
  9. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    SELAY: Relax Riker, it's just something we wear at concerts and amusement parks.
     
  10. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2004
    Location:
    Patrolling Sector 2814
    TFTW, Leadhead!

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    Captain's Log: We are navigating a very dangerous asteroid field which would greatly benefit from an android's reflexes or even, Mr. Crusher's ability to create, at the last minute, a means of avoiding whatever calamity we've found ourselves in this week. However, both of those crewmembers claim they are engaged in a very important tactical situation. Frankly, I call bullshit on this, but there is no way of knowing what they are up to.

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    Riker: Mr. Worf, put down that android this instant!

    Worf: But I found him! Can I keep him, please?!

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    Selay: Yes, we've got him. Now let's hope the Legend of Riker is true. They say he'll put out for anyone with a vaguely feminine form!

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    Wesley Crusher was many things. Good at "Hide-N-Seek" was not one of them.

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    Picard: Doctor! You've got three half-naked 20th century humans in your sickbay beds! What, exactly, do you call this?

    Crusher: A good start to an evening of possibilities.

    Picard: In that case, dibs on the chick.

    Crusher: Must you spoil everything?
     
  11. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
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    Data: "I am attempting to emulate human behaviour, but I remain uncertain as to what is appropriate. I watched a 20th Century film for information on this game. Should I use that as a basis for my game playing style?"
    Wesley: "Yeah, sure. Go ahead. What was the movie by the way?"
    Data: "The Thomas Crown Affair."

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    Data: "In the event of an emergency, I am programmed to be used as a battering ram."

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    First Officer's Personal Log: I'm having a hard time explaining to the Selay the meaning of the word 'auto' in the phrase 'autoerotic asphyxiation'. On the other hand I am impressed by their... enthusiasm.

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    Wesley: "Captain. The injunction said thirty yards. Thirty yards!"

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    Crusher: "Prolonged hypersleep has unexpected effects on human physiology following revival. The males all had inappropriate erections, but I took care of those."
     
  12. Holdfast

    Holdfast Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2000
    Location:
    17 Cherry Tree Lane
    TFTW LeadHead!





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    WESLEY: Damn, mate in three. It's so embarrassing losing games against the AI.



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    RIKER: You do realise he won't be any more edible after cooking, right?



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    RIKER: No! I won't go to the rave!



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    PICARD: I hate meeting people in corridors. Should I say hello, or nod, or just walk by silently while pretending not to notice them?
    WESLEY: Well, the last is what you did when I bumped into you outside my mother's quarters before work...



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    PICARD: No, these new uniforms are even worse.
     
  13. Syd

    Syd Ensign Newbie

    Joined:
    May 21, 2011
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    Wesley: You know Data the more I look at this chess board pondering my next move, the more I think that I'm going to be a virgin for the rest of my life.
    Data: That is a very astute observation Wesley.

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    Riker: What are you doing with Data Mr. Worf?
    Worf: I'm taking him to his quarters sir.
    Riker: You've never heard of the human expression "let sleeping androids lie"?
    Worf: You know I never listen to your human expressions sir. Besides, his snoring was bothering me.

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    Riker: No I don't want to be a part of the Selay intergalatic zoo!
    Selay: There will be donuts in it for you.
    Riker: Then what are you waiting for, take me there!

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    Picard: I see you've been taking fashion tips from our interior decorator.
    Wesley: You could say that I am a ....model of efficiency.
    Picard: Oh shut up Wesley

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    Picard: Look at these people, so relaxed, peaceful, free of worry and concern.
    Crusher: That's what happens when you get a massage from Nurse Ogawa.
     
  14. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
    Thanks ftw Leadhead.

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    Wesley: I think the keen observational skills I've honed during my time on this ship will really help me win this game.

    Data: You failed to notice the planet outside the window exploding.

    Wesley: Wait... planet? Are we in space?


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    Worf: For all we mock the primitive times when you had to open a door by hand, at least you could leave the room when the power went out.


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    Lizard Man: Whoa, sorry dude. I'm looking for the Masters of the Universe set.


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    Picard: I hate you.


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    Picard: Best sterilise them whilst they're under, they might start procreating when they wake up and I don't want to wind up with any more bloody kids on the ship.
     
  15. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
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    Wesley: Bottle stopper takes salt shaker.
    Data: I will have your pen holder in three moves.


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    Worf: Commander for your sake that better not be your hand on my ass.

    Riker: No, you made your point last time.


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    Alien: Febreze the Drakar!


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    Wesley: Awk-ward.


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    Crusher: Sorry, Captain. None of them are a compatible hair donor.
    Picard: I'm beginning to think you aren't sincere.
     
  16. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
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    WESLEY: Data, why did they make chess three dimensional? It adds nothing and makes everything more confusing.
    DATA: Accessing. Ahh. It appears in the 22nd century, people started arbitrarily making every day things more complicated so the past could, quote, 'suck it'.

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    RIKER: You sold Data on ebay?
    WORF: I'm out of blood wine.

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    ALIEN: You're the one who ate our eggs!
    RIKER: Those were yours? Eww!
    ALIEN: We demand justice. We must now be allowed to eat one of your young!
    RIKER: You think we'd let you do that, you think...hmm... Ensign Crusher, report to deck 25.

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    Wesley isn't very good at hide and seek.

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    CRUSHER: They're dying.
    PICARD: How do you know?
    CRUSHER: The little green arrows are going down toward the bottom.
    PICARD: ...Damn.
     
  17. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Austin, TX
    Thanks for the win

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    Data: *thinking* Here's my chance to continue my experiment on an ancient warrior feat called "The Wedgie". I'm curious with how a Klingon would react....
     
  18. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    RIKER: He was one of a kind and you broke him! What are the chances we'll find another Soong android?
     
  19. jazzstick

    jazzstick Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    May 10, 2009
    Location:
    The Darkside of The Moon
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    Wesley: Can I take that move back?

    Data: Wesley, you know the agreement, you loose, you have to dress like a woman and be my dance partner!

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    Data may have seemed off-line but this was his plan to find out just how firm Klingon asses really where!

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    Ahhhhhh, a little to the left....



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    Captian, are you hiding from my mom too?

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    Dr.Crusher:Jean Luc the guest are ready for the "full" captain's inspection.

    Jean Luc: Excellent Doctor!
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2013
  20. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
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    Wes: I'm going to win this one, Commander. There's nothing that will break my concentration this time.

    Data: Tasha Yar's sexual repertoire -

    Wes: .....

    Data: - necessitates dermal regeneration...

    Wes: .....

    Data: Of the underballs.

    Wes: ....

    Data: - Her - underballs.

    Wes: .....Dammit! <storms off>

    Data: ....Punk.
     
    Last edited: Aug 27, 2013