TNG Caption This! 321: Can't Stop Partying

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Jul 17, 2013.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    Hello Everyone! Sorry, still not back on weekends, but I'll try to be better!


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Safety Protocols" Award, going to:


    Next, we have the "Leslie Nielsen Appreciation Society" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Well, whatdya know?" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Isn't it Earth, Fire, Wind, Water, Heart?" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Bring out your dead" Award, going to:

    Our photoshop award goes to:


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    Congrats to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

    New contest! Go! Go!

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Picard: You better not have been sitting in my chair while I was gone!

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    Picard: We're stranded on an unknown planet. Whose fault is it?

    Everyone looks at Wesley


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    Picard: I love the Party Nebula.

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    Picard: Picard to Engineering, the internet is down again! I'm trying to stream American Dad up here!

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    Remmik: You're at the wrong table, this is for the old white haired Admirals only.
     
  3. Gep Malakai

    Gep Malakai Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 20, 2007
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    Everyone felt a little awkward when the greenscreen budget suddenly ran out.


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    "'There can be no justice...so long as laws–' Holy Christ, who wrote this?"
     
  4. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    STEWART: Good lord, this set sucks. They couldn't even afford a trip to Vasquez Rocks?

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    ADMIRAL: Yes, I know these uniforms are crap.

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    PICARD: Trust me, Data. This is going to look spectacular in Hi-Def.

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    PICARD: Why did I sign up for Spacebook? I can never think of anything to say.

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    RIKER: Looks like the paternity test was positive, Wes.
     
  5. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    TFTW, LeadHead!

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    Stewart: "This isn't exactly what I was expecting when the special effects crew said they could cut their production time in half."
     
  6. IzzyAtWarp9

    IzzyAtWarp9 Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2013
    Location:
    221C Baker Street
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    Data: Captain, the training cadets seem to have hit our back bumper. Again.
    Picard: For God's sakes! LEARN TO DRIVE YOU BUNCH OF PAKLEDS!


    Isis wrote: [​IMG]
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    Picard: "Note to self: No more bets with Beverly, no matter how horny I am. Because if she won once, she can win again, and I can end up doing even more of young Mr. Crusher's homework."

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    Picard: "Note to self: I HAVE to learn to control myself!"


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    Remmik: Sir I have a message from-
    Admiral or the right: HOLY CRAP YOU'RE A VULCAN!!
     
  7. Mario de Monti

    Mario de Monti Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Jun 10, 2013
    Location:
    Heidelberg, Germany
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    Picard: For the last time Mr. Worf: I am NOT shaving my head, the hair just fell out!


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    Picard: Why does this planet still look as artificial as the ones in TOS? It´s been twenty years!!


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    Picard: Mr. Data, I don´t care how pretty you think it is - when we´re having a conversation, I expect you to be looking at me. MR. DATA!!


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    Picard: ... nice, nice, naughty, nice ... (sigh) ... there are just too many people on board to be doing this Santa thing.


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    Remmik: The canteen says, the soup is ready.
     
  8. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Picard (sighs): "I did 'tap pen twice to open file'! Dammit, I want my mouse back!"


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    Crusher: "Sir! Internal sensors have detected the turbolift doors opening, and two life forms emerging!"
    Troi: "Commander! I sense two new presences on the bridge!"
    Officer at Tactical (thinking): "Christ, this is going to be a loooong shift!"
     
  9. Holdfast

    Holdfast Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2000
    Location:
    17 Cherry Tree Lane
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    TROI: You know, I can sense the guilt & shame now just as easily as I sensed the lust when you were both still in the turbolift.



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    PICARD: OK, who was responsible for painting the sky?
    WESLEY (looking down, thinking): ... don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact, don't make eye contact...



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    PICARD: Yes, it's true. That spacestation IS your father.



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    All Galaxy Class starships come equipped with the latest Galaxy Note.



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    REMMICK: Sir, urgent message from your wife: she says that if you're late from work today, you'll regret it for the next 7 years.
     
  10. IzzyAtWarp9

    IzzyAtWarp9 Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2013
    Location:
    221C Baker Street
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    Worf: I caught him, sir, he was hiding in a Jeffries tube
    Riker: Aha! Thought you could get away? Well, tough! You're gonna watch Star Wars I-III whether you like it or not!
     
  11. IzzyAtWarp9

    IzzyAtWarp9 Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2013
    Location:
    221C Baker Street
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    Picard: Mr O'Brien we seem to missing Dr Crusher from our landing party. Is she still in the transporter room?
    O'Brien: No, sir, her pattern has fully materialised on the planet
    Tasha: Where is she then?
    Wesley: Err... Guys?
    (everyone stares at hole)
    Beverly: *Groans*
    Picard: Not this again...[​IMG][​IMG][​IMG]
     
  12. Holdfast

    Holdfast Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2000
    Location:
    17 Cherry Tree Lane
    DATA: Now she's thinking with Portals.
     
  13. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
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    Remmik: The press corps is buying the alien parasite story. No word yet on an ointment for our space crabs.

    Vulcan Admiral: Damned Lady Magnolia's Interstellar Cathouse and Wax Museum!
     
  14. Mojochi

    Mojochi Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2007
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    Picard: Why do you two look like you've been having sex in my chair?

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    Data: There's a higher than normal methane content in this atmosphere

    Picard. Oh, thank goodness, I was about to have Mr. Worf report to sickbay

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    Data: Starbase decloaking, Captain.

    Picard: Now that's pimp

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    Picard: (Thinking) I don't think this hair follicle regenerator is working. Maybe I read the instructions wrong

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    Remmick: I don't care if you're a Vulcan. Sometimes Starfleet admirals HAVE to lie
     
  15. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
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    PICARD: Yes. I did tell Wesley to man the helm.
    RIKER AND TROI TOGETHER: Seriously?!
    WESLEY: (Texting) Nepotism FTW ;) L8R

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    PICARD: You must all listen carefully. I've come back in time to the mission on Vagra II to tell you that it's imperative that Wesley be assigned to this away team. Tasha, beam back up to the ship.

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    PICARD: Data, be honest with me.
    DATA: I can be no other way Captain.
    PICARD: If Captain Kirk came across an all powerful entity who exercised Godlike power over a helpless race, he would have talked it into blowing itself up or something, right?
    DATA: Analyzing. That would be consistent with Captain Kirk's service record.
    PICARD: Does the crew think I'm a wuss?
    DATA: No sir. All the crew hate the Edo, so they don't care.
    PICARD: Thank you Mister Data.

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    PICARD: Finish my paperwork, holodeck Shakespeare. Finish my paperwork, holodeck Shakespeare. UGGHHHH... ...Picard to Riker, report to my ready room. Picard to Data, meet me on Holodeck 3.

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    REMMICK: People are starting to complain there aren't enough old white male humans in Starfleet upper management.
     
  16. bullethead

    bullethead Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
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    Wesley avoided looking at Picard, knowing that it would only confirm that he was behind the Earl Gray to Green Tea prank.

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    Picard: One of us will eventually die on this planet. Since Mr. Crusher here is only a boy, it probably won't be him. I'm the captain, so it won't be me, either. That leaves Mr. Worf, Mr. La Forge, Mr. Data, and Lt. Yar.
    Tasha: How come I'm referred to by rank while everyone else is "Mr."?
    Picard: Because my father was a cruel man who made saying "Ms." or "Mrs." cause for a beating with a rock hard, stale baguette.
    Worf: Your father was truly a warrior to be reckoned with.

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    Data was surprised to see that Picard gave no fucks about the uber-powerful being outside the window. But he didn't count on a Q induced time loop mellowing out the previously cantankerous captain.

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    Jean-Luc tries his hand at Photoshopping with a stylus.

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    The low point in a Lt. Commander's career: feeding a Vulcan admiral lines in the middle of a viewscreen conversation.
     
  17. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    WES: Uh, Captain....

    CAPTAIN: Not now, Wesley!
     
  18. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2004
    Location:
    Patrolling Sector 2814
    TFTW!

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    Picard: Damn it, Mr. Worf, I'm not falling for the old "Klingon Tradition" business again. Computer, download all information on Klingon traditions to my PADD.

    Worf: Humans. So wimpy.

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    Captain's Log: I'm beginning to suspect Commander Riker knows something I don't. Usually he's against me transporting down, but this time he insisted I go. I wonder why.

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    Picard: Data, take a custodial crew to holodecks 1 & 2,will you? I want them cleaned up before dinner.

    Data: But I was going to Space Station Tosche to pick up some power converters!

    Picard: You can waste time with your friends when your chores are done.

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    Picard struggled for hours to get his new stylus working. Little did he know that he confused the stylus with Beverly's "little friend."

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    Remmick: *whispering* So, as I was saying...Hold on, damn it, the creepy old men admirals are checking me out again.
     
  19. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    PICARD: Damn, I wish I knew how to play the Ressikan flute. Too late to learn, I guess.
     
  20. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    The visitor's bullpen
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    Savar: What do you mean, I left the iron on?
     
    Last edited: Jul 18, 2013