TNG Caption This! 317: Did you see that?

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by Santa Garrus, Jun 18, 2013.

  1. Santa Garrus

    Santa Garrus Calibrating the Holidays Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    LeadHead
    Hello everyone! I look forward to the day that I finally get my caption contests back to a weekend start, will this weekend be it? I dunno. We'll have to play this one out...


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Well, it's progress, isn't it?" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Special Skills" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "System Failure" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Worthy Adversary" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Whodunnit?" Award, going to:

    Our Photoshop Award, goes to:


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    Congrats to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

    Lets start a new contest!

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. Santa Garrus

    Santa Garrus Calibrating the Holidays Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    LeadHead
    [​IMG]

    La Forge: And this is the ship we'll all get transferred to if we fail this mission.

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    Troi: I feel you have murderous intent-

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    Picard: Well, one of you is gonna have to change clothes.

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    La Forge: The Tricorder 4S, Captain. It's all set up, but Starfleet really should've kept using the Google Starcharts.


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    Worf: These allergies are WITHOUT honor!
     
  3. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    [​IMG]

    Vash: "Please, Jean Luc. They don't allow pets in the hotel rooms on Risa."
    Q: "It's only for a week."
    Picard: "No! I will not babysit a chimpanzee!"


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    Picard: "Quite an extensive collection you have here, Geordi."
    LaForge: "Tell me the truth, Captain. Do you think it's pathetic that I collect candid 'wardrobe malfunction' pics?"
    Picard: "No. It's the fact that they were all taken in the holodeck that's pathetic."
     
  4. Gil T.Azell

    Gil T.Azell Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2005
    Location:
    Gil T.Azell
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    Troi: (thinking) They're not feeling any firmer
     
  5. Wintermute

    Wintermute Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Triskelion
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    Laffy: I don't know what it is either, Captain, but it was vibrating when I scanned Troi's suitcase.


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    Whale probe: Decker had an Ilia probe, Riker gets a Dolphin probe.
    Deans: Eee-eee-eee-eeeee-eeeeeeee-eeeeeeeeeeeee!


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    Picky: Well the good news is the Doctor has vaccinated us all for the expedition.
    Qbert: And the bad news?
    Picky: The local escorts require currency.


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    Sir-Lafs-a-Lot: Here you go, Captain. VISOR scans of Tasha, Troi and Beverly.

    Dirty Jeans: What? No Ogawa?

    Sir-Lafs-a-Lot: Ogawa said no.


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    Science crew <suffocating>: HOLY...MOTHER OF...SHA-KA-REE!
    Worfy: It is a good day to die!
     
  6. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
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    GEORDI: As you can see Captain, every ship design from the last ten years is ugly, terrible, and not even that practical.
    PICARD: You mean, except the Enterprise.
    GEORDI: Throw a rock at either nacelle and the ship explodes.
    PICARD: Good point.

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    TROI: Not again! Why does every energy creature go inside ME?!

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    VASH: I'm only going with you to make Jean Luc jealous.
    Q: That's okay. I'm going with you for the same reason.

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    PICARD: Hmm...very interesting scans of the spatial anomaly...phase...neutrino...
    GEORDI: You're holding the tricorder upside down.
    PICARD: Right.

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    WORF: Sure, blame the klingon!
     
  7. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Every Trekkie's dream...
     
  8. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Worf: "Who put superglue on the console?!?"
     
  9. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Picard: "You are NOT pressuring me into a threesome!"
     
  10. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2012
    Location:
    Shangri-La
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    Captain's Log: We're answering the distress call from yet another crappy Oberth class science ship. I don't even know why Starfleet sends these things out. Something always goes wrong, we have to save their asses and then do the mission they were supposed to be doing anyways.

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    Betazoid heartburn exhibited some unusual symptoms when compared to humanity's version.

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    Picard: You and Vash? Well it seems only appropriate she's wearing the pants.
    Q: Big talk from a man in a dress.

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    Picard: You designed an OS that's not Windows or Apple? 300 years too late Mr. LaForge.

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    Picard: We will not fire on the alien vessel attacking us... hail them aga--
    Worf: (Sneezes loudly)
    Riker: Problem Mr. Worf?
    Worf: I'm allergic to pansies, sir.
     
  11. Gary7

    Gary7 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
    Location:
    Near Manhattan ··· in an alternate reality
    TFTW, Leadhead. :)


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    Geordi never let an opportunity pass to show off his mysterious ability to draw solid lines with his finger on any surface. Now if only he could do circles...


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    Another curious anomaly with Betazed physiology: Stunning them with a phaser brings on an instant orgasm.


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    Q: "Picard, since I can't procreate with humans, I'd like you to be the surrogate father to my son. I need you to have sex with Vash."
    Vash: "C'mon Jean-Luc, just one time in the sack for old time's sake"
    Picard: "I'm not buying this for one minute. And for old time's sake? My embarrassing STD treatment with the ship's doctor wasn't something I'd like to repeat."
    Q: "Ah, haaaaaaaa!"
    Vash: "Oh, damned. Well thanks, Jean-Luc. I just lost my leverage."


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    LaForge: "Uh... sir, I can explain."
    Picard: "I think you'd better. This looks like Japanese anime to me, not the data I requested for this morning's briefing."


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    Worf: "What... what is that SMELL!"
    Crewman (behind): "Oh damned... I think I should have passed on the triple bean burritos for lunch."
     
  12. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    LaForge: "There's no question, Captain. The captain's cabin in the Oberth-class definitely has more closet space than in the Galaxy-class."
    Picard: "Bastards!"


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    Vash: "Cheer up, Jean Luc, there's no shame in losing your girl to an omnipotent being. I think Q won my heart that first time he and I made love on the soft grasses of the African savannah...and not a single mosquito bite!"
     
  13. Gary7

    Gary7 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
    Location:
    Near Manhattan ··· in an alternate reality
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    Picard: "Odd... something is wrong with this tricorder. It keeps going on and off."
    Geordi: *click* *click* *click* *click*
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2013
  14. Mojochi

    Mojochi Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2007
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    Captain's Log: It will be necessary while at the next starbase to have Mr. Laforge's visor readjusted.
    For the time being, I don't have the heart to tell him his depth perception is off, & he's not really pressing any buttons

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    Betazoid menstruation is a bitch

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    Picard: Q... I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing your knees... again

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    Picard: And why again are the birds so angry?

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    Picard: Worf! No more Gagh! If you damage the environmental control systems again I'm transferring you to engineering

    Laforge: (Over Comm) Not unless you want my resignation
     
  15. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Q: "Go ahead, Jean Luc. Try it on. Hell, no one is more 'pithy' than you."
     
  16. bullethead

    bullethead Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2008
    [​IMG]
    Picard: An Oberth? Again? Can't Starfleet Command send us to help any of the ships that aren't nearly a century old?
    Geordi: Sorry sir, there's no room in the budget for that.

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    Picard: Will you agree to leave if I marry the two of you?
    Q: And spare Janeway the torment of dealing with me?
    Picard: Damn it... alright, you can stay here until the end of the week, but that's it. Now, I have a conference to attend in a ridiculous outfit.

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    Everyone's respect for Beverly jumped when they saw the technobabble on her medical tricorder was even more indecipherable than the stuff on the regular tricorder.

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    Worf: ENOUGH COUNSELOR! We have suffered through your emoting an uselessness for seven years! The madness must end!

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    Worf: You have no idea how satisfying this is.
     
  17. IzzyAtWarp9

    IzzyAtWarp9 Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2013
    Location:
    221C Baker Street
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    Geordie: As you can see here, Captain, we've managed to- Hmm, that's funny...
    Picard: What is it Mr La Forge?
    Geordie: Well when I updated the system this morning everything was working perfectly. But now-
    Computer: Warning! Warp core breach in 12 minutes
    Geordie: What the-??! I THOUGHT WE TOLD EVERYONE NOT TO LET WESLEY INTO ENGINEERING!

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    Deanna: Beverly? What are you- AAAHHHRGH!!!
    Beverly: That's for not stopping Jean-Luc take an away team to Minos!!

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    Picard: Hello and welcome back to Are You Smarter Than Data? And we are down to our final question. This will be a buzzer round so fingers on consoles. So... The final question... What was the name... Of the First Officer on the Enterprise A?
    *both buzzers go off, Vash's slightly faster*
    Picard: Vash?
    Vash: Spock!
    Picard: That is correct! Well done, Vash, you have won Are You Smarter Than Data!! Now, Q, as you've lost, it's time to look into Camera B and say 'I am Q and I am not sma-
    Q: Err.. Jean-Luc? I think you're forgetting something
    Picard: Err... What?
    Q: Who's the omnipotent god-like being who can read your thoughts and make anything happen on a whim?
    Picard:... Vash it's time to look into Camera B...

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    Geordie: Here, Captain. I stayed up all night working on this new design
    Picard: Oh, err... Thanks Geordie
    Geordie: Well? What do you think??
    Picard: Oh, erm, well.. That's clearly... That's clearly a thing isn't it?! I mean, err.. Wow.. That's... Yeah I've got to go

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    Picard: Worf, you have to go and meet Lwaxana Troi in transporter room 3. She'll be staying on the Enterprise for a few days on the way to a conference and... Worf?
    Science crew: Everyone, take cover! He's gonna blow!
     
  18. Gary7

    Gary7 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
    Location:
    Near Manhattan ··· in an alternate reality
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    Deanna couldn't help but spontaneously combust when she saw Beverly's horrible taste in civilian clothes.


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    Picard: "Worf, when I said that gargoyles used to perch above all and bring protection from evil, I wasn't suggesting you should try becoming one. Now cut it out!"
     
  19. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Vash: "We're going to Africa to search for the 'Great White Ape'!"
    Picard: "A Mugatu?"
    Q: "Tarzan, fool!"
     
  20. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2004
    Location:
    Patrolling Sector 2814
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    Captain's Log, Supplemental. I am quite impressed at the progress Lt. LaForge is making on the executive washroom I asked for.

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    As she was being possessed, Troi was thankful she had a few options from her closet to accent her possessor.

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    Captain's Log, as unpleasant as it was having my parents explain it, somehow, Q and Vash sitting me down for "The Talk" is even more uncomfortable.

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    Geordi handed over the Tricorder to Picard seconds before remembering, that, as usual, he was still reading /r/foreveralone on Reddit.

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    The crew hated it when Riker would wear his Sex Panther cologne.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2013