TNG Caption This! 316: Brace for Comedy!

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Jun 12, 2013.

  1. Gary7

    Gary7 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
    Location:
    Near Manhattan ··· in an alternate reality
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    Picard: "Oh tell me you didn't, Will... you didn't say yes to Q, did you??"
     
  2. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
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    Alien: These crappy hand dryers are the same in every star system.
    Tasha: Wipe hands on pants.


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    RIKER: You are the most beautiful Batman in the galaxy. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to tell you that.
    GUINAN: But Batman was afraid.
    RIKER: Yes.
    GUINAN: Of Batman?
    RIKER: Of Batman. Of what Batman might become.
    WESLEY: Uh, Batman—
    RIKER: Or that you might think Batman was a line.
    GUINAN: Maybe I do think Batman’s a line.
    RIKER: Then you think I’m not Batman.
    GUINAN: I didn’t say Batman. There’s nothing wrong with a Batman. It’s like a Batman at the door.
    RIKER: Then you’re inviting Batman in.
    GUINAN: I’m not sending Batman away.
    RIKER: That’s more Batman than I expected.
    GUINAN: Is it as much Batman as you hoped?
    RIKER: To hope is to recognize the Batman. I had only the Batmobile.
    GUINAN: The Batmobile can be dangerous.
    RIKER: Not this Batmobile. I dream of a galaxy where your eyes are the Batman and the universe worships the Dark Night.
    GUINAN: Careful. Putting me on a pedestal so high, your bat signal may not be able to reach Batman.
    RIKER: Then I’ll learn how to fly. You are the bulge in my tights and the bats in my cave.
    WESLEY: I don’t think Batman is my style.
    GUINAN: Shut up, Dick! Grayson.
    [turns to RIKER]
    GUINAN: Tell me more about - my Batcave.


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    Data: Worf, perhaps you should see the Ultraviolet scan before you enter the room.

    Worf: Never show me the UV!


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    Picard: One day you'll be captain, Will. And on that day you will understand the choice between a weak posture and nut wedgies.
     
  3. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
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    Tasha: Why no, I've never seen the episode of Jonathan Creek where the pervy black American pretends to be blind so he can touch up women.


    Why do you ask?



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    Riker: I loved you in that film you did with Ted Danson.

    See Wesley, the trick to pulling is to make your bullshit sound sincere.


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    Data: Ah, so to be funny, you have to have a ridiculous mullet?

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    Dorn: Hey Mr. Roddenberry, I've got some suggestions on the new script... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!


    Spiner: Always knock first, you never know when Gene's doing a casting session.


    Dorn: MY EYES! FETCH THE MIND BLEACH!

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    Picard: Will... Did Tasha do something different with her hair today?
     
  4. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    REALTOR: I'm legally bound to tell you a murder happened in this apartment.

    WORF: And the smell?

    REALTOR: Like I said, a murder happened in this apartment.
     
  5. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
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    Picard: Just how long is he going to milk that Klingon beauty pageant? Nobody cares if he was good-looking on Qo'nos a hundred years ago!
     
  6. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Picard: "Ensign Ro has filed a grievance against you for harassing her about her Bajoran jewelry. If I were you, I'd make sure some witnesses saw me ragging Worf's ass about that sash before the lawyers get here."
     
  7. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
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    Picard: Capital idea, taking a page out of Mister Worf's book, Number One.
    Riker: Cultural identity is the rule, sir.
     
  8. Gil T.Azell

    Gil T.Azell Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2005
    Location:
    Gil T.Azell
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    Comedian: "Wow.. You don't even get little Johnny jokes, you really don't get humor"


    Teacher: "Class, what comes after 69?"
    Little Johnny: Mouthwash"
    Teacher: "Get out"


    Riker:"Q?"
    Picard: "Q!"
    Worf: "(Censored)"
     
  9. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2004
    Location:
    Patrolling Sector 2814
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    Yar: Damn it, Geordi, you're drunk, not Vulcan!


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    Wesley: I think I should leave you two alone.

    Riker: Nonsense, Wesley. Now that you've seen successful flirting, you should witness what happens next, on the off chance you actually pull off the flirting!

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    Data: DS9 gets Vic Fontaine. We get Joe Piscopo. There truly is no justice in the universe.


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    Data: I am unsure of the ethical nature of this endeavor, Mr. Worf.

    Worf: It is fine. Trust me, even a Klingon finds this honorable.

    Data: Honor does not concern me. Committing theft, however, does.

    Worf: We legally paid to reserve the room, correct?

    Data: Yes. But our contract clearly outlined only use of the room and what's in the room for the night we contracted.

    Worf: It's fine.

    Data: I disagree, Lieutenant.

    Worf: For that last time, Sir, they want you to take the towels!

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    Picard: Captain's Log, Supplemental. I have seem to inadvertently caught Commander Riker's eyes. He appears to believe we are engaged in a staring contest. Part of me believes I should inform him of the mistake, but a larger part of me wants to beat his ass at this contest. Besides, the Klingon seems to be refereeing and now I feel committed to the contest.

    Riker: *to himself* Is the Captain checking me out?

    Worf: *to himself* I wish these two would just do it and get it over with...this unresolved sexual tension is...not honorable.
     
  10. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
    [​IMG]

    PICARD: No.

    RIKER: Come on, Worf gets to wear his silly sash!

    PICARD: No
     
  11. Vulcan Logician

    Vulcan Logician Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Location:
    In the realm of pure logic
    Great minds think alike. I actually prefer your lettering. :)
     
  12. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    New Contest starts tonight!
     
  13. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
  14. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame

    Guinan: "So then, she takes her tongue and gently licks his-"

    Wesley: 'fap, fap, fap...'
     
  15. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
  16. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
    Here comes the new images!

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    La Forge: Babyface indeed...

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    Wesley: So what is going on here?
    Guinan: Foreplay kiddo.

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    Data's fully functional jokes were just a little too risqué...