TNG Caption This! 316: Brace for Comedy!

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Jun 12, 2013.

  1. Gary7

    Gary7 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
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    Near Manhattan ··· in an alternate reality
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    Picard: "Oh tell me you didn't, Will... you didn't say yes to Q, did you??"
     
  2. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Triskelion
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    Alien: These crappy hand dryers are the same in every star system.
    Tasha: Wipe hands on pants.


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    RIKER: You are the most beautiful Batman in the galaxy. You don’t know how long I’ve wanted to tell you that.
    GUINAN: But Batman was afraid.
    RIKER: Yes.
    GUINAN: Of Batman?
    RIKER: Of Batman. Of what Batman might become.
    WESLEY: Uh, Batman—
    RIKER: Or that you might think Batman was a line.
    GUINAN: Maybe I do think Batman’s a line.
    RIKER: Then you think I’m not Batman.
    GUINAN: I didn’t say Batman. There’s nothing wrong with a Batman. It’s like a Batman at the door.
    RIKER: Then you’re inviting Batman in.
    GUINAN: I’m not sending Batman away.
    RIKER: That’s more Batman than I expected.
    GUINAN: Is it as much Batman as you hoped?
    RIKER: To hope is to recognize the Batman. I had only the Batmobile.
    GUINAN: The Batmobile can be dangerous.
    RIKER: Not this Batmobile. I dream of a galaxy where your eyes are the Batman and the universe worships the Dark Night.
    GUINAN: Careful. Putting me on a pedestal so high, your bat signal may not be able to reach Batman.
    RIKER: Then I’ll learn how to fly. You are the bulge in my tights and the bats in my cave.
    WESLEY: I don’t think Batman is my style.
    GUINAN: Shut up, Dick! Grayson.
    [turns to RIKER]
    GUINAN: Tell me more about - my Batcave.


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    Data: Worf, perhaps you should see the Ultraviolet scan before you enter the room.

    Worf: Never show me the UV!


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    Picard: One day you'll be captain, Will. And on that day you will understand the choice between a weak posture and nut wedgies.
     
  3. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
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    Tasha: Why no, I've never seen the episode of Jonathan Creek where the pervy black American pretends to be blind so he can touch up women.


    Why do you ask?



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    Riker: I loved you in that film you did with Ted Danson.

    See Wesley, the trick to pulling is to make your bullshit sound sincere.


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    Data: Ah, so to be funny, you have to have a ridiculous mullet?

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    Dorn: Hey Mr. Roddenberry, I've got some suggestions on the new script... OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!


    Spiner: Always knock first, you never know when Gene's doing a casting session.


    Dorn: MY EYES! FETCH THE MIND BLEACH!

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    Picard: Will... Did Tasha do something different with her hair today?
     
  4. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

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    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    If you want it
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    REALTOR: I'm legally bound to tell you a murder happened in this apartment.

    WORF: And the smell?

    REALTOR: Like I said, a murder happened in this apartment.
     
  5. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Location:
    Triskelion
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    Picard: Just how long is he going to milk that Klingon beauty pageant? Nobody cares if he was good-looking on Qo'nos a hundred years ago!
     
  6. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Picard: "Ensign Ro has filed a grievance against you for harassing her about her Bajoran jewelry. If I were you, I'd make sure some witnesses saw me ragging Worf's ass about that sash before the lawyers get here."
     
  7. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Triskelion
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    Picard: Capital idea, taking a page out of Mister Worf's book, Number One.
    Riker: Cultural identity is the rule, sir.
     
  8. Gil T.Azell

    Gil T.Azell Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2005
    Location:
    Gil T.Azell
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    Comedian: "Wow.. You don't even get little Johnny jokes, you really don't get humor"


    Teacher: "Class, what comes after 69?"
    Little Johnny: Mouthwash"
    Teacher: "Get out"


    Riker:"Q?"
    Picard: "Q!"
    Worf: "(Censored)"
     
  9. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2004
    Location:
    Patrolling Sector 2814
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    Yar: Damn it, Geordi, you're drunk, not Vulcan!


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    Wesley: I think I should leave you two alone.

    Riker: Nonsense, Wesley. Now that you've seen successful flirting, you should witness what happens next, on the off chance you actually pull off the flirting!

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    Data: DS9 gets Vic Fontaine. We get Joe Piscopo. There truly is no justice in the universe.


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    Data: I am unsure of the ethical nature of this endeavor, Mr. Worf.

    Worf: It is fine. Trust me, even a Klingon finds this honorable.

    Data: Honor does not concern me. Committing theft, however, does.

    Worf: We legally paid to reserve the room, correct?

    Data: Yes. But our contract clearly outlined only use of the room and what's in the room for the night we contracted.

    Worf: It's fine.

    Data: I disagree, Lieutenant.

    Worf: For that last time, Sir, they want you to take the towels!

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    Picard: Captain's Log, Supplemental. I have seem to inadvertently caught Commander Riker's eyes. He appears to believe we are engaged in a staring contest. Part of me believes I should inform him of the mistake, but a larger part of me wants to beat his ass at this contest. Besides, the Klingon seems to be refereeing and now I feel committed to the contest.

    Riker: *to himself* Is the Captain checking me out?

    Worf: *to himself* I wish these two would just do it and get it over with...this unresolved sexual tension is...not honorable.
     
  10. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    If you want it
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    PICARD: No.

    RIKER: Come on, Worf gets to wear his silly sash!

    PICARD: No
     
  11. Vulcan Logician

    Vulcan Logician Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Location:
    In the realm of pure logic
    Great minds think alike. I actually prefer your lettering. :)
     
  12. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    LeadHead
    New Contest starts tonight!
     
  13. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    LeadHead
  14. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame

    Guinan: "So then, she takes her tongue and gently licks his-"

    Wesley: 'fap, fap, fap...'
     
  15. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
  16. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
    Here comes the new images!

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    La Forge: Babyface indeed...

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    Wesley: So what is going on here?
    Guinan: Foreplay kiddo.

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    Data's fully functional jokes were just a little too risqué...