TNG Caption This! 316: Brace for Comedy!

Discussion in 'The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Jun 12, 2013.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    Hello everyone! Haven't yet managed to get things back to normal on weekend contests, but we're getting back to not being a week behind schedule anymore!


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Unnecessary Nudity" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "This Gastrointestinal distress is without honor!" Award, going to

    Next, we have the "Not only does he deliver babies..." Award, going to:


    Next, we have the "They hate the players, and screw over the games" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Phoning it in" Award, going to:
    Our Photoshop Award goes to:


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    Many thanks to everyone who participated and congrats to our winners!

    Here comes the new images!

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    La Forge: You need to start using a moisturizer.

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    Riker: Are we still pretend flirting or are we actually flirting now?

    Guinan: I was hoping that you knew.

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    Comic: And I thought my jokes were bad.

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    Captain's Log: Since starfleet has cut our budget again, we have started pulling Casino Heists to make ends meat.

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    Riker: What do you think?

    Picard: You. With a beard. NO.
     
  3. Supernuke

    Supernuke Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2008
    Location:
    USA
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    The three-way staring contest idea did not work out as well as any of them had hoped.
     
  4. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2012
    Location:
    Shangri-La
    Ack, forgot to enter the last contest! Grats to the winners though!

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    Geordi: (whispering) I see dead people...

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    Riker/Guinan thinking: (If we stare at each other long enough and don't say anything maybe he'll go away)

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    Joe Piscopo: They think -I'm- the funniest comedian ever in the future? We're doomed.

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    Worf: Some alien technology?
    Data: Scans indicate it is a chamber pot.

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    Captain's Log Supplimental: My security chief is a snarling brute who can't win a fight, my counselor can't do anything useful beyond state the obvious, my helmsman is blind, my first officer is an annoying boob and I can't go a week without my engineer doing something stupid to make me fire them. I truly am on the voyage of the damned.
     
  5. Coloratura

    Coloratura Snuggle Princess Premium Member

    Joined:
    Dec 25, 2002
    Location:
    At the Piano
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    "These aren't my glasses."


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    ...and Wesley never had sex again.


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    Data: "...the COW-boys of Moo-Mesa."


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    Data: "It is in the corner, Lieutenant."
    Worf: "Indeed. This spider is a shrewd tactician, and will be a worthy foe."


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    Picard: "He's right behind me, isn't he?"
     
  6. captain crow

    captain crow Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2009
    Location:
    nobody cares
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    Picard: Well, if wasn't you and it wasn't me... then who was it?

    [Picard and Riker turn and look at Worf]

    Worf: If I did it you'd all be unconscious right now.
     
    Last edited: Jun 12, 2013
  7. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    TFTW, LeadHead!

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    Yar (thinking): "What a sweet, romantic moment! If only he doesn't press my nose with his thumb and say 'Beep! Beep!' like last time. Oh, crap, he's gonna do it!"


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    Wesley: "Um...could you two excuse me for a sec? I think I just threw up a little in my mouth."


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    Picard: "So, a strange woman picks you up in a bar, takes you to her place, introduces you to a highly-addictive, electronic 'game' that directly effects the brain, suggests you take this 'game' back to the Enterprise and let all your shipmates try it, and you don't find that suspicious? Are we thinking with our 'little head' again, Commander?"
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2013
  8. Vulcan Logician

    Vulcan Logician Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Location:
    In the realm of pure logic
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    Picard: What you talkin' bout, Willis?
     
  9. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Out of my brain on the 5:15
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    GEORDI: Odd, I thought your skin would feel more life like, Data.

    YAR: I'm Tasha, you idiot!

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    PICARD: Whatchu talkin' about Willis?

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    RIKER: Is he still sitting there?

    GUINAN: Yes.

    RIKER: Okay, I guess ignoring him won't make him go away.

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    DATA:According to the historical database, your career pretty much tanked after SNL.

    PISCAPO: Computer end program!!!!

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    WORF: It a urinal, Captain. But not as we know it.
     
  10. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Out of my brain on the 5:15
    Ninja'd by the Vulcan Logician:klingon:
     
  11. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
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    TASHA: WATER Geordi! WA-TER!
    GEORDI: I'm not deaf. I just use the blind thing to to get to touch women's faces.

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    FRAKES: This is supposed to be *good* flirting?
    GOLDBERG: They're scifi screenwriters. I'm impressed that it's not worse!

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    DATA: Data to Bridge. The holodeck appears to be malfunctioning. I asked for a great comedian and it gave me Joe Piscopo.

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    WORF: Wait. A large bowl of water...Data, those people who told you to bring me here, were they more of those human missionaries who try to baptize aliens?
    DATA: I don't believe so lieutenant. They only told me they needed my help to save your eternal...
    WORF: Goodbye.


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    PICARD: So you're telling me, we won't be exploring deep space?
    RIKER: We will never be more than one week's travel from Federation space.
    PICARD: You've got to be shitting me.
     
  12. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Out of my brain on the 5:15
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    The computer begins playing Lionel Ritchie's "Hello".

    TASHA: oh...crap.
     
  13. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Finn
    GEORDI: That explains it.




    Yeah, I'm terrible
     
  14. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Rekindling the light of civilization
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    Geordi: Grandma?
    Tasha: Oh no he di'in't!


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    Wesley: Can you show me flirting when you're done making creepy prows on a Viking ship?


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    Comedian: Whatchoo talkin' 'bout Willis?
    Data: Quantum dipoles.


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    Worf: Away team to Enterprise. I'm inspecting the room now. Alert the Gideons to stand by.


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    Picard: Dane Cook. A better comic than George Carlin.
    Riker: According to the holodeck record, yes, sir.
    Worf: Shall I escort the Commander to the brig, sir?
    Picard: Yes, Worf. And inform engineering to find out what the hell is up with the holodeck this week.
     
  15. Gary7

    Gary7 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
    Location:
    Near Manhattan ··· in an alternate reality
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    Tasha began to think that this may not have been a good idea

    Guinan: "Hmmm, let's see. Your cheek bones are a bit high, we could bring them down just a touch. And this nose? Tasha my girl, I think you need this turned up a bit, a little bit o' Irish!"



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    Wesley didn't exactly volunteer to be the judge of Riker and Guinan's 98th staring contest, and began to wish he'd hit the head before they started.


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    How many starfleet officers does it take to change a torchier halogen light bulb?


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    Picard: "You're definitely wearing lifts and that's against Starfleet regulations!"
     
  16. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Data: "This stage lighting makes the color of my uniform appear to be a kind of muddy brown."
    Piscopo: "It don't do your face no favors, either!"
     
  17. Vulcan Logician

    Vulcan Logician Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    May 31, 2013
    Location:
    In the realm of pure logic
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    Guinan: Saving the ship an innumerable amount of times doesn't give you the right to sit at this table.
    Riker: No truer words were ever spoken.
     
  18. Mr. Adventure

    Mr. Adventure Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 9, 2001
    Location:
    Mr. Adventure
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    Geordi: Second base! Woo-hoo!
    Tasha: um, Geor....ur, never mind...
    Geordi: Woo!
     
  19. Gary7

    Gary7 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2007
    Location:
    Near Manhattan ··· in an alternate reality
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    Riker: "Guinan, you always have the most beautiful anvil styled hats on."
    Guinan: "Commander, I've never seen anybody pull off a stiff back craned neck walk as authoritatively as you."
    Wesley: "Um, I think I'll see you guys later." *leaves*
     
  20. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Riker: "Guinan! How very bold of you to put your foot in my crotch!"
    Guinan: "What! I don't have my foot in your crotch! You've got your foot in my crotch!"
    Wesley: "Heh."
     

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