TNG Caption This! 309: The Return of Blu-Ray

Discussion in 'The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Mar 25, 2013.

  1. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Data: Standby, Captain. I am encountering the Windows 2098 Blue Ray of Death.

    Picard<com>:Ah, the year Bill Gates went supervillain.
     
  2. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Guinan: Would you like to dump this nerd and borrow my sonic vibrator?

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    Picard: Triskelion would like to apologize to humanity for that last caption. That is all.
     
  3. TommyR01D

    TommyR01D Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Guinan and Salia had been in the assassination business so long, they barely noticed when the deed had been done.
     
  4. Holdfast

    Holdfast Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Thanks for the Belly Laugh pick! :D



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    Downloading and Installing Updates. Please do not turn off your Data until complete.



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    PICARD: What do you think, Counsellor?
    TROI: ...
    PICARD: Merde, she's daydreaming again. Computer, replicate one chocolate sundae. That should bring her back.



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    GUINAN: Wesley insisted you have this bowl.
    WESLEY (sotto voce): Shhh! She'll guess about the roofies...



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    TEXAN GAMBLER: I just won the shirt off her back, boy. Looks better without it, don't she?



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    RIKER: They're charging for internet access? Fuck these guys; we're leaving.
     
  5. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Geordi: (OS) The data from Data's old tricorder is transferring into Data. Data and the data looks good, Captain.
     
  6. Honorable Ensign

    Honorable Ensign Commander Red Shirt

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    Picard: Oh, great, she's doing that "sensing pain" thing again. Look, I won't blame you if you just switch to another channel for awhile.

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    "Have you seen my hat?"

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    Riker: According to this, local activities include the casino, skiing in the subzero temperatures, and dying of boredom.
     
  7. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Picard: "I'm not sure what to make of it, Counselor. Often, I'll be explaining something I would think would be of great interest to one of the crew, and the next thing I know, they're lost in a daydream and not paying any attention at all! For example, yesterday I was explaining some of the finer points of the Prime Directive to..."
    Troi (thinking): "Oh, Fabio, yes! Again!"
     
  8. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Out of my brain on the 5:15
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    PICARD: Is it "42"?

    TROI: Nope, guess again.
     
  9. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Guinan: One girl two cups?

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    Picard: Attention crew! Please be advised that "Synth-Fudge" is not chocolate. That is all.
     
  10. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

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    Data (via telepathy): "I am very flattered by your invitation, but I only date beings who are fully functional, as I am."



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    Guinan (via telepathy to Wesley): "Well, I had to tell her that you're finishing up a PhD in neurosurgical research and that you're first in line for the British throne. I take money orders, VISA, MasterCard, and PayPal."
     
  11. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

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    Captain's log, Stardate 45345.6. Of late, Data is neglecting his duties because he was struck by the thunderbolt. I should have surmised that he meant that both literally and figuratively.



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    Guinan: "You kids better eat fast and 23 skidoo. You don't want to be late for the sock hop."



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    Middle-aged man: "Keep ya' eye on that filly ovah theah. Ah think she'll be trouble."

    Data: "I am unclear as to what you are referring. I do not see a horse in this room."
     
  12. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Data: Note to self. Look up and install design schematics for 20th century technology known as a surge protector.

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    Picard: You're the ship's counselor. You could at least pretend like you care what I'm talking about.

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    Guinan: Careful Wesley, I'm getting the feeling this girl's a real beast between the sheets.

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    Gambler: Son, since you don't seem to have any clothes, spot me a few more chips and I'll give you the rest of the outfit.

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    Worf: Ah, the KahlessSutra. Close the book, Commander. It is not for the timid.
     
  13. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Guinan: Ah, young love. Cherish these moments before you find out what assholes you both are.
     
  14. Gil T.Azell

    Gil T.Azell Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Picard: (Thinking) "Dam Viagra is kicking in early, I've got a major Chubby

    Troi: (Thinking) "Ewwwwww!"
     
  15. doubleohfive

    doubleohfive Fleet Admiral

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    RIKER: Who the hell is Amelia Williams?
     
  16. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Tex: Well I don't know much about Starfleet women, but if I were you I would have told her to give it back.
     
  17. Danger Ace

    Danger Ace Commander Red Shirt

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    "Well dear, I am just so happy to see young Wesley dating again, I'm guessing he's over that whole "it burns when I pee" thing. By the way, come back after closing and we'll make a sandwich. Wink. Wink."
     
  18. Danger Ace

    Danger Ace Commander Red Shirt

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    "Tarnation son, you ask him, "Do you have any fours?" then he either hands them over or says, "Go fish!" Then we all take a shot of the whiskey. That's why it's called 'Irish Hold'em'"
     
    Last edited: Apr 2, 2013
  19. Danger Ace

    Danger Ace Commander Red Shirt

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    "Okay, Deanna rates you, Worf, a "7." You, Data, get an "8." I GET A "3" WITH "MOMMY ISSUES!""
     
  20. Danger Ace

    Danger Ace Commander Red Shirt

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    "Jean-Luc, I'm sensing you're distracted. I'm feeling strong emotions and Commander Riker. Also your craving something. Your Ressikan flute. But not your Ressikan flute. I-I should go."
     

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