TNG Caption This! 308: The day LeadHead broke the server

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Mar 17, 2013.

  1. Holdfast

    Holdfast Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2000
    Location:
    17 Cherry Tree Lane
    [​IMG]

    RIKER: OK, got them all written down? Good. Run along now and get everyone's drinks.



    [​IMG]

    DATA (observing the others): So it's true; some men really do just want to watch the world burn.



    [​IMG]

    FERENGI: How do you like my Worf hand puppet? If I wiggle my fingers, I can make him talk.



    [​IMG]

    TROI: No Captain, THIS is a facepalm.
     
  2. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Way back.
    [​IMG]

    Worf: Hmm, perhaps it was not a good idea to kill Steve Jobs in that alternate timeline.
     
  3. Kirby

    Kirby Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 16, 2003
    Location:
    Alt: 5280
    It seemed like an odd choice for Beverly to chose an adaptation of the late 20th century movie Major League for her next play.

    [​IMG]

    Riker/Roger Dorn: "I want a word with you here Lou, it says right here in my contract that I don't have to do any calastenics that I don't feel are necessary."


    [​IMG]

    Picard occasionally like to join Security in their rounds. Unfortunately being directly beneath the rehersal hall, at that exact moment, was just wrong place/wrong time.
     
  4. Mojochi

    Mojochi Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2007
    [​IMG]

    Worf: In the Klingon version.... the birds are angrier

    [​IMG]

    Captain's Log: I really need to think about transferring Ensign Gomez, before she can ruin my snazzy velour jacket

    [​IMG]

    Picard: The Nexus, gentlemen. Number One, I never want to hear the word Risa come out of your fat face again

    [​IMG]

    Ferengi: No DaiMon, I am Worf's bitch now. You will have to win me from him in battle

    [​IMG]

    Riker: Don't worry, I'll get relieved of duty before I let Jellico make you cover up that fabulous rack with a uniform
     
  5. jep

    jep Captain Captain

    Joined:
    May 22, 2005
    Location:
    Southeast USA
    [​IMG]

    Neither security guard could believe what they were seeing... a Ferengi, turning a Klingon into his own personal hand puppet.


    .
     
  6. Mysterion

    Mysterion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2001
    Location:
    SB-31, Daran V
    Patrick Stewart (to self): Bruce Willis got famous doing this kind of crap? Remember the mortgage payment, remember the mortgage...
     
  7. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Finn
    Thanks for the win!

    [​IMG]

    Picard: I know it has been hard losing Wil. It hasn't been easy for me either, not to mention losing Beverly as well.

    Troi: Only if I agreed to take the helm at Veridian III. I bet we wouldn't be here in the Delta Quadrant chasing those pesky maquis


    [​IMG]

    *few days later*

    Picard and Geordi: Warp Particles!

    Chakotay: *sigh*
     
  8. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Way back.
    [​IMG]

    Worf: It says here that Commander William Riker did not click on any Facebook affiliate links this year and all deleted photos from the past twenty years are being auto-reposted.

    Riker: Fucking Zuckerborg.

    Worf: Nice rainbow suspenders. I did not know you had a Mork from Ork phase.


    [​IMG]

    Captain's log supplemental: Next time add a plumber to the crew who isn't descended from cultures with time-and-a-half holidays every day of the year.


    [​IMG]

    Picard: Watch out for snakes.


    [​IMG]

    Lieutenant Snark: Sexually harass much Umax Boy?
    Lieutenant Rack: I swear, sometimes it's like he doesn't even watch interstellar porn.


    [​IMG]

    Picard: Is it brain freeze?
    Troi: Yes. It is brain freeze. From my invisible chocolate sundae.
    Picard: Perhaps you should slow down.
    Troi: Idiot.
     
  9. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Finn
    [​IMG]

    Worf: ....At 0530 hours, the Xyran Ambassador broke into Guinan's stash. At 0602 hours, Ensign M'pok accident set off the security alarm in the Science labs...

    Riker: There's nothing on that padd, is there?
     
  10. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    Mr. Laser Beam is in the visitor's bullpen
    With apologies to Karnac...

    [​IMG]

    Troi: A nail, a board, and a redshirt.

    (opens envelope)

    Troi: Name something that's hammered, something that's sawed, and something that's screwed.
     
  11. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Thanks Dad USAF 1947-1972
    [​IMG]

    WORF: Hold on, I gotta take this.

    Transfer to DS9 approved.

    WORF: Ha! Later you fat, fur-faced jerk. I'm out here!

    Please report for duty aboard station Deep Space Nine in two weeks.

    WORF: Damn, I should really learn to hold back until I've read the entire message.
     
  12. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Way back.
    [​IMG]

    Worf: Rake, stack, steam heat, kick ball change and jazz hands? This dance is without honor!
     
  13. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Way back.
    [​IMG]

    Worf: It says here that the Enterprise D's stardrive section was destroyed and the saucer section crash landed on the surface of the planet Veridian III.

    Riker: Wikipedia?

    Worf: Yes.

    Riker: Does it say anything about Captain Riker?

    Worf <tapping keys>: No.
     
  14. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    LeadHead, TFTW. :)

    [​IMG]

    Try as she might, Troi could never remember to hit "reply" instead of "reply all."



    [​IMG]

    Worf: "Damn, she hit 'reply all' again."
     
  15. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    [​IMG]

    When the Enterprise crew played hide-and-seek, the Ferengi trainee hid in Picard's up-to-now unknown "wax museum salon."



    [​IMG]

    Captain's log, Stardate 45345.6. Someone started a sentence with "I sense you're unhappy" in front of Deanna, and she finally realized how obnoxious that sounds.
     
  16. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    LeadHead
    New contest starts later today!
     
  17. Mutai Sho-Rin

    Mutai Sho-Rin Crusty Old Bastard Moderator

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2001
    Location:
    Orange, CA USA
    Let it be.
     
  18. Riker's Libido

    Riker's Libido Lieutenant Junior Grade

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2013
    [​IMG]

    Worf: What is this, a Nexus 7?

    Riker: Yep. From the old Earth brand, "Google".

    Worf: This motherfucker is old.
     
  19. Riker's Libido

    Riker's Libido Lieutenant Junior Grade

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2013
    [​IMG]

    Picard: That shit is beautiful, dogg.

    Riker: I've seen a thousand sunsets in a thousand star systems, but this one gives me a boner and makes my asshole tingle.

    Geordi: I just want to live in this moment, living here looking at this sunset. It's so good.


    Data: This caption is fuckin' awesome, guys. Good job.
     
    Last edited: Mar 24, 2013
  20. Riker's Libido

    Riker's Libido Lieutenant Junior Grade

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2013
    [​IMG]

    Troi: He RAPED me!


    Riker: Um not that funny of a caption.