TNG Caption This! 307: I'm not Evil, I'm Parallel

Discussion in 'The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Mar 8, 2013.

  1. doubleohfive

    doubleohfive Fleet Admiral

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    WORF (thinking): I finally become XO of this bucket and they get rid of the XO chair. Am I to be destined to stand for the rest of my tour? Next thing you know this place will look like a goddamn Apple store! Worst of all, they gave my old job to the boy. The boy!
     
  2. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Worf: I see in this universe they took my fart guard idea seriously.
     
  3. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Crusher: I told you if you kept that expression your face would stay that way. Now here's an analgesic for your chronic face-roids.
     
  4. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

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    Try as he might to capture the audience's interest, Picard's monologue was still colorless.



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    Sentient beings had many accomplishments by the 24th Century, but a set of matching armrests wasn't one of them.



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    Riker liked--and made good use of--the bridge's new catwalk, but otherwise it was not well received.



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    Wesley (OS): "I'm calling a red alert. You two are obviously from the Mirror Universe."

    Mirror Riker: "Rats. I thought we were blending in quite nicely. What gave us away?"

    Wesley (OS): "I'll spell it right out for you--B-E-A-R-D-S."

    Mirror Riker: "Darn. I knew we were forgetting something."
     
  5. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Riker: What was the strangest thing you saw when you were jumping realities?

    Worf: Seeing that picture of Kyle Riker and Lwaxanna Troi's wedding in Captain Riker's ready room.

    Riker: *mutters* No holodeck for today, Will
     
  6. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

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    Data: "Mr. Worf, would you clear up a matter of Earth's 21st Century history for me?"

    Worf: "I'll try."

    Data: "According to the great pundit David Letterman, Jorge Bergoglio, who we now know as Pope Francis, had previously been a relief pitcher for the Yankees."

    Worf: "So what's the big deal?"

    Data: "I have done some research, and there is no way Bergoglio could have been a Yankee."

    Worf: "Why not?"

    Data: "Because he was a Cardinal."
     
  7. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Riker: I'm sorry Captain, that is not the Mythical Lost Clitoris of your people. That is our tactical officer Ensign Crusher.

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    Riker: Ship's Best Betazoid Lay, ages 30-35. I can't believe it.
    Worf: Do not worry, sir. There is always next year. You will be in another bracket.
     
  8. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Finn
    winner :guffaw:
     
  9. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Data: "Mr. Worf, I am sure you will be pleased to know that Lieutenant Ogawa's body temperature is now reading a perfectly normal 98.6 degrees. Thankfully, her condition of being 'incredibly hot,' which you mentioned to me in the corridor, was apparently a temporary abnormality."
    Ogawa (thinking): "Awkward..."
     
  10. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Data: Commander Worf. The medical staff has informed me they would like their Commemorative Captains of the Fleet Collectors plate back. You were the only conscious patient in sickbay this week.

    Worf: It was not me! Besides, without Archer that plate is worthless.

    Data: Who?

    Ogawa: Fanboys....
     
  11. golddragon71

    golddragon71 Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Data: It wasn't your fault....
    Worf: I told the commander Human females were much too fragile.
    Ogawa:.......poor Wesley.... At least Sh....HE! died with a smile on he...HIS! I'm sorry! I am SO! sorry!....
    At least He died with a smile on His face...
     
  12. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    DATA: As you can see, Spot keeps changing breed and gender.
     
  13. Velocity

    Velocity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    In the back of beyond
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    Worf: Hey! Take your stinking paws off me, you damned dirty ...uh, doctor
     
  14. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Worf: "No! No! The last time you injected me with that stuff, I woke up with my pants around my ankles and a sore bum!"
    Crusher: "Well, I had nothing to do with that!"
    Worf: "That's what I'm afraid of!"
     
  15. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

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    Thanks, Finn. :)
     
  16. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

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    Crusher: "I am for you, Worf."

    The TNG "sequel" to TOS' "That Which Survives" was not well received.
     
  17. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

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    Captain's log, Stardate 45345.6. Mr. Data has revealed that he's engaged to his smartphone, and the rest of the crew is not very happy.
     
  18. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Data: No, Worf. The mute button doesn't work on the females of this universe, either.
    Ogawa: Oh no he di'in't!

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    Riker: Tasha, run a sensor sweep.
    Worf: Dear Kahless what have they done.
     
  19. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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