TNG Caption This! 304: Love is in the atmosphere...

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Feb 10, 2013.

  1. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Picard: I wanted to try something called a Ménage à Troi, but Deanna said no. Now we shall never know that naughty pleasure for as long as we live!

    Crusher: The word is Trois, you ginormous douche. Aren't you supposed to be French?
     
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2013
  2. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    The great gig in the sky
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    Data: And after this toast we will perform the 1001 Risian acts of jamaharon for six days and seven nights...

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    Picard: Beverly, it was always just the two of us; me and the earl grey...

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    Lal: Stay still while I investigate intimacy...

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    Q: And the note says: People can you feel it, par'mach is in the air. People can you see it, par'mach is everywhere. Ew how gross!
     
  3. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    The great gig in the sky
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    Data: How do I feel about you? Well my dear you are an adequate substitute for Tasha Yar...
     
  4. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Data: "I propose a toast! To the first bit of salacious gossip about us that Geordi overheard in Ten Forward yesterday!"


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    Crusher: "I'm not sure how to tell you this, Jean Luc. Vash and I had a long talk about you last night, and we came to the conclusion that the two of us really don't need you."
     
  5. ncc71877

    ncc71877 Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Texas Panhandle of Earth 2
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    Worf: "Who is first for in line for a forehead ride?"

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    Data: "I will still rescept you, but I am bound by the "Bro Code" to tell Geordi, so the rest of the ship will not."

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    Beverly: "I know this isn't a dream because you're not naked!"

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    "Commander! What did I tell you about my wait staff and your tongue!

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    Q walks in two minutes later on old-Picard and young-Batanides
    Q: "Well, I'll never unsee that."

    ncc71877:cardie:
     
  6. Holdfast

    Holdfast Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Feb 19, 2000
    Location:
    17 Cherry Tree Lane
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    WORF: Human females are too weak. I demand a mate strong enough to support the weight of her own head!



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    DATA: I call this drink, the Roofie Surprise.



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    CRUSHER: Thank you for asking, but my answer depends on the size of the engagement ring and I don't see one...



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    GUINAN: I told Riker he had to stop paying his bar bill this way.



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    Q: Yikes. The things you see doing this job. Is that even a girl, Jean-Luc? I'll come back later, when you're less busy with the tentacles.
     
  7. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Guinan: "Relax, Riker. She's just using her built-in breathalyzer to see if it's time to cut you off."
     
  8. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Data: Technically I am fully functional and anatomically correct. But if you examine that particular port you'll see the inspection sticker says "Exit Only."


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    Q: Flowers for one Geordi LaForge from a Pakled named Grebnedlog? The card says "We are Pakleds. Our ship is the Mondor. It is broken...."

    Geordi: Still beats Wesley.
     
  9. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    DATA: It's a lovely little petroleum from a region on Earth called "Texas".
     
  10. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

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    Once you go 'droid, everything else is one big void.



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    Picard: "No, Beverly, lizard beats scissors."
     
  11. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    Just a reminder everyone, the Captains log award isn't just a one time thing, please keep those hilarious reports to starfleet command coming!
     
  12. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

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    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
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    First Officer's Personal Log: "Met an interesting new bartender named Lal in Ten Forward today. Looked to be going in an interesting direction, until her father turned up. You will not believe who her father is... The second piece of bad news turned out when I learned when her birthday is....

    I've been staring at the wall of the brig for the last four hours now... My lawyer has advised me to use the Ocampan defence."
     
  13. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    The great gig in the sky
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    Captain's log supplemental, we received a distress call from Lawnjayree Five, a Federation colony in the Pantee'ose system, and rescued a few dozen pimps and about several hundred hoes. Suffice to say crew performance has notably plummeted...
     
  14. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
    Belated FTW!



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    Dorn: Really? this costs less than just giving me a chair?




    I didn't say take the women away.



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    Data: You know how the Holodeck has this ability to project clothes onto peoples bodies?

    Jenna: I don't know, I heard that could make you look kind of old and fat and red faced...

    Data: Do not worry, I do not wish to project hologramatic clothes onto your body, I wish to project Tasha Yar's face over yours.


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    Captain's Log Stardate 44.4106: I do wish Beverly would stop bothering me when I'm trying to use the brand new Captain's latrine.


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    Lal: Mmmmm... haddock.



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    Q: And I've got a card for inflatable dalek... from nobody. Sucks to be you.
     
    Last edited: Feb 15, 2013
  15. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    "Security Officer's log: WHO DA MAN!!"
     
  16. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011

    Blond: Actually... me.
     
  17. jespah

    jespah Commodore Commodore

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    Location:
    Boston, the Gateway to the Galaxy
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    Worf (thinking) Ah, now they'll finally stop writing me slash scenes.

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    Data - Jenna, I am enjoying the seder. When do we break out the matzoh?

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    Beverly - Okay, I can definitely see it now. You waxed your pate!

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    Riker (thinking) - I gotta go watch an NX-01 holodeck program to clear my mind of this memory. Something relaxing that I like to call, "These are the Voyages".

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    Q - Despite the Continuum taking over UPS, we still get the deliveries wrong. These were supposed to be a bouquet of live Calrissian chameleons.
     
  18. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Worf: I like your bumpy throat ridge.
    Blonde: It's an adam's apple, you great buttock.


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    Data: A toast, to your upcoming video premiere.

    Jenna: ...What?


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    Sorry Jean Luc, but to quote Shakespeare, "You bore the hell out of me."


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    Lal: Why are my loins locking down and fusing shut?
    Data: Heh heh. Father of the Century.


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    Flowers for Commander Riker from Commander Data? It says, "Sorry about your recent tongue electrocution. Get well soon."
     
  19. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
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    Captain's log, Stardate 45345.6. Q has gotten Valentine's Day confused with Groundhog Day, and lately wakes me up every morning with a romantic serenade. Where's Kelsey Grammer when you need him?
     
  20. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Q: "Delivery for Christy Henshaw from Geordi LaForge. Argelian Stinkweed. I'm assuming you turned him down again?"