TNG Caption This! 296: Closer to Punctuality!

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Dec 18, 2012.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    Happy Monday Night everyone!

    Sorry for us not being reset to weekend starts/stops, we're moving closer to them. I hope to get things back to normal this weekend!


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    First up to the plate, we have the "You're probably not gonna get promoted above Space Valet" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Slow Day on the Bridge" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Could end up as a Medical Emergency though..." Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "No longer popular" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Simple Brings it Home" Award, going to:

    Our Photoshops this time around were 2 sides of the same funny coin, so they're both winners!

    And...

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    Congratulations to our winners and many thanks to everyone who participated!

    Lets spend some more time with our blu-ray images and start a new contest!

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Riker: And... you lose. Why did you wager the Captains favorite shuttlecraft?!

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    Kurn: I am Commander Kurn of the Klingon Defense Force and I'd like to talk to you about switching to Geico.

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    Worf: (thinking) Human teenagers are without honor.

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    Picard: Anybody remember why we came in here in the first place?

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    Picard: I am not sick! I'll jut be lying down for a couple of hours.

    Crusher: You have a 100.1 fever. Geordi's got the bridge until your bald head stops burning.
     
  3. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    DATA: Since I have no father it is unlikely he will need a "new pair of shoes", but if you feel it will increase my chance of winning...

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    I wave my private parts at your aunties, you cheesy lot of second hand electric donkey-bottom biters.

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    WES: Mom said you could teach me to be more manly.

    WORF (looks at shirt and shakes his head.)

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    PICARD: What exactly are you feeding that cat?

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    PICARD: You take that back, the Picards have never run and have never surrendered!!!!

    LAFORGE: Please, your family crest features a chicken with a yellow stripe down it's back!!!
     
  4. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
    TFTW!


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    Data: Trust me Sir, my memory contains details of every game of chance.

    I have Mr. Bun the baker!

    Riker: I think a couple of files have gotten crossed.

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    Kurn: I am Mr. Worf's long lost bother.


    And also Wesley's father.

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    Worf: I like your jumper nearly as much as I like Riker's omelets.

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    Picard: Damn it Geordi, you're chief engineer now, this is the third day in a row you've put the wrong uniform on, what are you, blind?

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    Picard:... And then you have my permission to die!
     
  5. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Riker: "When the train comes in, everybody rides!"
    Tex: "Son, that was funny the first five or six time you said it, but it's beginnin' to get old."


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    Kurn: "To demonstrate the Klingon Death Grip, I will need a volunteer. ....... Anyone?"


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    Worf: "Wesley, I tell you this for your own good. Your mama dresses you funny."


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    Picard: "We are going to the doctor's quarters to discuss ship's business! Understood?"
    Crusher: "Oh, give it up, Jean Luc. You're not fooling anyone."
     
  6. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
    Thanks for the win LeadHead!

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    Data: Behold! My mechanized pimp hand!

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    Kurn: Anyone who objects to me throwing Wesley out of the airlock please speak now!

    Silence...

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    Picard: You so much as stare at Beverly with that x-ray vision of yours LaForge and you'll be out of the airlock faster than you can say 'ensign'!
     
  7. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
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    Arm Candy: What's sticking the dice together?
    Data: Secreted internal servo fluid.
    Texas: Hookers are legal here, you know.


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    On Klingon vessels, authority is taken through combat. Not given by weak and cowardly rules. Under my command, cowardice will be reprimanded -

    <Wesley jumps up and kicks him in the nards>

    Data <to Kurn, writhing on floor>: Never mess with Ensign Crusher's grade point average.


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    Worf: You do not understand honor. What it means to be willing to take your own life if you fail in your duties.
    Wesley: Yeah, I don't die if I fail my exams. My teachers' cats do.
    Worf: So you...
    Wesley: Only take classes from teachers with cats for best friends? Yup.
    Worf: Genius.

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    Pakled on a Rascal: Beep beep.


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    I'm not laughing, LaForge!
     
  8. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
    Good one!:lol:
     
  9. Leviathan

    Leviathan Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2004
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    While the crew was distracted the son of the Crystalline Entity crept into place to take its revenge...
     
  10. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
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    DATA: Curious. People wager money on this game, knowing the odds are heavily stacked in the house's favor.
    RIKER: I HAVE A SYSTEM.

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    Kurn: I was going to impose Klingon discipline on you, but then I realized by Klingon standards it's Data's job to kill me. Screw that.

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    WESLEY: So I started throwing chairs at her like you said.
    WORF: And it didn't work?
    WESLEY: No, she threatened to press charges.
    WORF: I don't understand humans.

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    Picard, Data, Beverly and Wesley try to act surprised when yet another sentient energy life form takes over the ship, out of politeness. Geordi can't pretend anymore.

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    You lied to me Levar! You told me the show wouldn't last six months! I used to do Shakespeare!
     
  11. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    KURN: Hello, my name is Kurn.

    EVERYONE: Hello Kurn!

    KURN: It's been two days since I last killed a worthless petaQ.
     
  12. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    LeadHead, TFTW. :techman:

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    Worf: "Bed, Bath, and Beyond called. It wants its clearance bedspread back."



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    The crew couldn't get it through their heads that letting untrained tribbles have the run of the ship was not the best idea.



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    Crusher: "Calm down, Jean-Luc. You think you're the first to have this problem?"

    Picard: "Actually, yes. In fact, I'm so sure, I'll bet you 100 quatloos you've never seen another bald man with severe dandruff."
     
  13. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    WES: If you must know, it was a Christmas gift from my Great Aunt Mable.

    WORF: Truly this Mable is without honor...or taste.
     
  14. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2012
    Location:
    Shangri-La
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    Data: Query commander, what do you mean by "loaded" dice?
    Riker: Thanks a lot Data....
    Casino Employee: You two will have to come with us.

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    Kurn: Experience BIJ!
    Picard: What is Bij?
    Riker: I don't know but it sounds fun.
    Worf: We do not speak of it with outsiders.


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    Worf: That pink shirt has brought dishonor to the males of the Enterprise.

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    (insert generic blind guy joke here)

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    Picard: I'm going to shag the Doctor now and have a jolly good time... but you don't have to take -my- word for it Mr Reading Rainbow. Try it yourself.
     
  15. captain crow

    captain crow Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2009
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    Picard: Mistah LaForge! I want you... to kiss my ass!

    Crusher: Okay. You've had enough eggnog.


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    Director, OS: Yo! Jackass behind Dorn. You're facing the wrong way!


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    Picard: Remembah kids, don't do drugs.

    Geordi: Who the hell is he talking to?

    Crusher: Fuck if I know.


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    [Wesley babbling]

    Worf, muttering under his breath: It's times like this I wish wearing red had the same repercussions it did during Kirk's era.
     
  16. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    WES: I'll have you know that this color was used for uniforms in both pilots.

    WORF: Yeah, but they it changed when the show went to series.
     
  17. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Open the door!
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    Wesley: Tholians that wear my exact size don't die every day.
     
  18. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    WORF: Your parents, they wanted a girl, right?

    WES: "Leslie" was just a typo on my birth certificate!!!!
     
  19. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
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    Geordi: Are you sure about this Doc?
    Crusher: Standard Starfleet Medical procedure, LaForge.
    Picard: Don't move Geordi, I'm getting in the turbolift.
     
  20. captain crow

    captain crow Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Mar 7, 2009
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    Wesley: My mother has that same valance on her bedroom window.

    Worf: Piss off kid.