TNG Caption This! 295: LeadHead's Tardy Start

Discussion in 'The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Dec 12, 2012.

  1. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Megalopolis
    [​IMG]

    Riker <above door>: Ok Ensign, now that the bay is clear let's set up the production line on our Tri-D Lego Pentagon™series.


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    Sir...are you my father?
    Absolutely not, Wesley.
    I meant in the abstract sense.
    So did I.
    Well then...literally?
    I'll be right there.
    Sir? Who are you communicating with?
    Hm? Oh, Geordi fraxillated...anion frequency...subspace.
    <leaves>
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    Worf: Commander Data was not kidding. That is one big Lego penis rock.
    O'Brien: Damn straight.

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    Picard: Whatever you do, don't sneak up on her.
    Pulaski: Well isn't she empathic? Being a Betazoid?
    Picard: That was just an ambassadorial prank that got out of hand.
    Troi: I sense...I'm needed on the bridge.
     
  2. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    T'Girl
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    Worf: I found these two men in the corridor for that activity you mentioned last night.

    Troi: Oh, I didn't know Ensign Ricky and Lieutenant Burke played golf.

    Worf (disappointment in voice): That is what you meant by "wanting a foursome?"

    :)
     
  3. BriGuy

    BriGuy Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    [​IMG]

    Guy: Man, that baby's got a fat ass.

    Gal: I never liked that shuttle design, either.

    Guy: ... uh, yeah, the shuttle, sure.
     
  4. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Riker:Yo Ensign, is this the shuttlebay?
    Ensign: No sir, this is the turbolift. You want the little room at the end of the hall.


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    Sir, the children want to form a club and put on a performance called Teenage Cardassian Reform Camp.

    Denied.

    Counselor Troi has already agreed to play the Domineering Commandant.

    Granted.

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    Commander LaForge, we've warned you about VISOR inspections of walls adjacent to the women's changing room.


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    Troi: Come in Captain, Doctor Pulaski.
    Pulaski: I've heard about the amazing telepathic abilities Betazoids have.
    Troi: That, and mirrors.
     
  5. Honorable Ensign

    Honorable Ensign Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
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    Guy in Blue: "Oh, I guess I should turn on the forcefield's permiability before the shuttle crashes into it, huh?"

    [​IMG]
    Picard: "Yes, Wesley, I can see that everyone has defriended you on Spacebook. I don't know what you want ME to do about it; I do have other concerns, you know."
     
  6. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    DATA: This is your personal list of holodeck programs?
    RIKER: Only my personal favorites.
    DATA: I don't think I want to be human anymore.

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    Worf slowly realizes when Dr Pulaski summoned him to her quarters, it was not a real emergency.

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    Captain, I'm sensing a presence. It's almost like characters from Star Trek: The Second Wave are speaking through us.

    [​IMG]
    Sorry Wesley. I just realized how pissed I'd be if I worked hard to graduate the academy and become part of the bridge crew then got replaced by a 14 year old.
     
  7. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Picard: Who stole my shuttle?! Wesley's still here, we have a gorgon for a doctor, and Troi's pregnant, I gotta get out of here!

    [​IMG]

    Riker: Unauthorized shuttle launch?
    Data: Sensors indicate Captain Picard is aboard.
    Riker: -sigh- I just sounded yellow alert because of some subspace turbulence. This is getting ridiculous.

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    Worf: Sensors detected an intruder in this room.
    Troi: I'm just pregnant Worf!
    Worf: Pregnant...? Set phasers to fetal settings. We do not wish to harm Counselor Troi.

    [​IMG]

    Picard: Bow-chicka-wowow.
    Pulaski: Don't you think it is condescending and sexist to have her parading around in a catsuit, Captain?
    Picard: Well she has to earn her keep somehow. Her therapy certainly doesn't qualify as being useful.

    [​IMG]
    Picard: You mean your mother suddenly left for Earth without any word or explanation and didn't take you? What kind of mother abandons her chi--- Wait, unnecessary question... I guess I can't blame her for -that- damn her.
     
  8. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    I want a catsuit, sir.

    Denied.
     
  9. The Squire of Gothos

    The Squire of Gothos Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Northern Ireland
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    Worf: I'm about to get my ass kicked again, right?
     
  10. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Apr 26, 2004
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    Patrolling Sector 2814
    TFTW!

    Picard: And, she's half-Betazoid, half-Human. The Enterprise doctors have such a rich history of working well with half-Human co-workers!

    Yellow-shirt: It could be worse...it could be HD-DVD!

    Wesley: C'mon Captain, Luke Skywalker is my hero! So, does this mean I can't go to Tosche Station to pick up some power converters?

    Picard: Actually, good news on that front, we're going to be dropping you at Tosche Station on our way to Risa!

    [​IMG]

    Riker: So...um, that's what Troi looks like pregnant?

    Data: Yes, sir. If I understand correctly, it is not uncommon for human males to be repulsed by pregnant females after their weight gain and increased flatulance.

    Riker: On, the contrary, Data, I don't think I've ever found her sexier! Besides, it's not uncommon for pregnant females to experience an increased sex drive!

    Data: Intriguing, apprently Dr. Soong fashioned me with the ability to throw up in my mouth a little bit.

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    Pulaski: Relax, Worf. I was just joking about helping me deliver Troi's baby.

    Worf: Good, it will be a cold day in Gre'thor before I deliver a baby!
     
  11. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    The great gig in the sky
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    Data: Behold the one millionth level of Tetris!
    Riker: Haven't you got better things to do?

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    Worf: Commander Data!?! Why are you naked? And why are you... leaking fluid?
    Data: I am... erm... performing an... erm... experiment. I believe I have experienced my first emotional reaction.

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    Picard: We're going to play a little game counsellor, a psychological one you could say. You see every time someone enters a room, you have to stand in a corner and keep your silence so you feel what it is like having your own twisted psychological voodoo thrown back at you.

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    Wesley: Sir... I can no longer deny it, you see the reason why I work so hard, the reason why I want to please you is because... is because... Because I like you...
    Picard: Oh... Well, I suppose such feelings are erm... natural for a man, but unfortunately, I can't erm... reciprocate your feelings because we have different... erm... um... In fact Mr Crusher I think it is best you leave and never set foot on my bridge again!
     
  12. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
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    Data: "How thoughtful of Wesley to post this video on You-ni-verse-Tube for those of us who passed out during last night's Christmas party!"

    Riker (to self): "OK, now I see why Beverly left for her new assignment in such a hurry."



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    Picard: "Deanna, do you remember what happened?"

    Troi: "Sorry, Captain, right now I'm a bit fuzzy."
     
  13. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Finn
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    Wesley: I swear I didn't tell anybody about you failing the first time around. This guy seems to think I'm someone named Wheaton.

    Picard: Where is this man now?

    Wesley: In engineering, lecturing to Geordi about quantum mechanics.
     
  14. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    PICARD: No, Mr. Cooper, neither I nor any other member of this crew will be signing your "Shipmate Agreement".
     
  15. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    For those of you who are wondering when the next contest will start, today's the day! ........ I hope. :)
     
  16. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    No such thing as dilithium?? And just what do you think is regulating our engine's antimatter reactions?

    I don't know but I suggest you find out.

    Yes, I'll look into that right away. <taps com> Picard to Worf....
     
  17. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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