TNG Caption This! 291: Random Silliness

Discussion in 'The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Nov 11, 2012.

  1. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    [​IMG]

    Picard: "We already have too many acts in our talent show. You guys can enter, but then we'd have to get rid of the dancing midgets."



    [​IMG]

    Picard: "On second thought, Beverly, maybe we don't need the table leaf today."
     
  2. Herkimer Jitty

    Herkimer Jitty Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2008
    Location:
    Dayglow, New California Republic
    [​IMG]

    Picard:
    "Q?! What's this about!"

    Q: "I just saved a load of money on car insurance by switching to GEICO! I feel like celebrating!"

    [​IMG]

    Worf: "When I stroke the beard thusly... do I not appear more intellectual?"

    [​IMG]

    AND NOW AN EXCITING SCENE FROM CAPTAIN PICARD'S STEAMY HOLODECK FANTASY ROMANCE


    Picard: "I could make the table longer and act more distant, if you'd like."

    Beverly: "That would be quite nice, thank you."

    Picard: "Superlative."

    [​IMG]

    LaForge:
    "Uhh commander... you're holding it backwards."

    Riker: "Right. All... part of my clever ruse."

    [​IMG]

    Picard: "It looks like some kind of lightning storm in space."

    Data: "It is a hole, sir."
     
  3. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    [​IMG]

    Crusher: "This is nice, Jean Luc. So many men, especially the younger ones, are so obsessed with sex! It's nice to be able to sit down to dinner with a true friend and not have to deal with all that nonsense."
    Picard (thinking): "Merde!"
     
  4. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    To the Bat Tank!
    [​IMG]

    So, Captain, how long shall we stare at each other across the Friend Zone?

    Well I'd launch a probe if I knew it wouldn't get phased into a charcoal briquette.

    <Bev bats eyelids>

    Do you know what Captain Kirk would have called you Beverly?

    Sir?

    A Spock-tease.

    ...

    ...

    Eat your kway-sawnt.
     
  5. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    [​IMG]

    Worf (to self): "If they only knew how much I owe my devilishly handsome looks to Crazy Glue..."



    [​IMG]

    Picard: "OK, Q, you win the smoke ring contest, but I have a better accent."
     
  6. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    To the Bat Tank!
    [​IMG]

    I knew I could pull off "The Farrah!"
     
  7. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Finn
    [​IMG]

    Data: The probe has exited the other end of the wormhole. According to its sensors, it is somewhere in the Delta Quadrant, over 75,000 light years from here. The probe is picking up some kind of space station, shooting energy pulses to a nearby star system".

    Picard: Interesting...Data...

    Data stops him..

    Data: Captain...something is happening. There is some kind of inference from the energy pulses. It is keeping the ship computer from saving the telemetry from the probe. We won't be able to show anything...

    Picard: You mean nobody will know the coordinates of this wormhole?

    Data: Precisely

    Picard: *shrugs* It's not like anybody will need to know about this wormhole. Ensign, resume our course to Devaled V. Warp 8...engage
     
  8. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    To the Bat Tank!
    [​IMG]

    Picard: So this is where he goes!
    Data: After all these centuries...the Tidy Bowl Conundrum is solved, sir.
    Picard: This...this is why we are out here.
     
  9. ThankQ

    ThankQ Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 27, 2003
    Location:
    Omnipresent
    [​IMG]

    Data: "Queri, why would Q ask me to scan for STDs?"
     
  10. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
    [​IMG]
    Picard: Q, why the celebrations?
    Q: Ever heard of GeneralGrin?
    Picard: Who?
    Q: He's back and he makes the most wonderful parodies of this ship and its crew.
    Riker: Parodies?
    Q: If you knew the truth you would be flabbergasted!

    [​IMG]
    Worf: It cannot be, are those streaks of grey I see?

    [​IMG]
    Picard: You want to talk about safe sex?

    [​IMG]
    Riker: Next time you want to kill yourself crewmen, remember to put in a power cell first!
     
  11. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Finn
    Beverly: Remember Wesley?

    Picard: Good point...

    :devil:
     
  12. Honorable Ensign

    Honorable Ensign Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
    [​IMG]
    Q: Check it out! I'll nail that fly on the ceiling with my spit!

    [​IMG]
    Beverly: By the way, you're pregnant.

    [​IMG]
    Riker: I'm sorry, but your collar is just too darn high. Use this to wittle it down to an acceptable length.

    [​IMG]
    Picard: Not Sliders again, Data.
     
  13. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    To the Bat Tank!
    [​IMG]

    Picard: Prepare yourself, Number One. If I understand this ritual correctly, next come the hoochie-mamas.


    [​IMG]

    I'm late.

    Starbase 19 needs a new Chief Medical Officer.


    [​IMG]

    I've got to go take this call. You'll need this.
    A phaser? What for, sir?
    Don't let him try the "Feel your face" bit. He sees you just fine.


    [​IMG]

    Is it a wormhole Data?
    No sir. This is a hole made by a really big space gopher.
    Oh!
    It is a wormhole, sir.
    Oh. New sarcasm chip?
    No sir.
    No? Or was that the chip again?
    No sir. The chip is malfunctioning. <under breath> Apparently.
    All stop, Data.
    All stopping, sir.
     
  14. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    [​IMG]

    When Picard agreed to live music on the bridge, some of the talent that auditioned wasn't quite what he had in mind.



    [​IMG]

    Riker: "Someone used--and broke--my ultrasonic nose hair clippers. Deanna 'senses it wasn't her.' Was it you?"
     
  15. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    [​IMG]

    Riker: "Here. You might need this. 'Lonesome George' LaForge here tends to get a little grabby."
     
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2012
  16. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    [​IMG]

    Worf (to self): "A facial mirror? What an inappropriate gift for an honorable Klingon like myself."

    <brief pause>

    Worf (to self): "Anyone who knows me at all would have realized that nothing but a full length mirror would do."
     
    Last edited: Nov 17, 2012
  17. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase