TNG Caption This! 289: Spooky Starship!

Discussion in 'The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Oct 27, 2012.

  1. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    The visitor's bullpen
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    Deanna was, technically, correct when she said she'd never kissed Riker with a beard before...
     
  2. Holdfast

    Holdfast Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Feb 19, 2000
    Location:
    17 Cherry Tree Lane
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    PICARD: I am Locutus of Borg. Resistance is futile. Your life as it has been… ah, wait a moment Number One, I'm getting a call on my bluetooth...

    PICARD (distractedly): Hi... Yes, I'm telling him right now... OK, talk later... No, I can't say that here... he'll hear me, that's why!... Fine, fine... Locutie loves his Queenie-Weenie...

    PICARD (back to Riker): Uh, right, where was I, again?



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    Troi and O'Brien discover what happens when the Calamarain Ambassador drinks too much wine...



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    RIKER: Geordi, it was your turn to pay the electricity bill this month.
    GEORDI: Yeah, but with a VISOR, I can see in the dark, so screw you.



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    Military budget cuts meant that Starfleet interrogation techniques were a mere fraction of their Cardassian equivalents.



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    PICARD: OK, the lights are off and the Counsellor has assumed the position. Gentlemen, it's party time.
     
  3. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Counselor Troi, when you are free, perhaps you can help me locate the clown Commander Riker said he punched up here.
     
  4. Bry_Sinclair

    Bry_Sinclair Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Sep 28, 2009
    Location:
    The glorious Shetland Isles!
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    O'Brien: When I was down.
    Troi: I was your clown.

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    Data's new blinding light alert wasn't as effective as he had hoped.

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    Riker: Mmmmmmmm. Oh yeah, Deanna, that feels real good! ::Opens Eyes:: WORF!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  5. Herkimer Jitty

    Herkimer Jitty Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2008
    Location:
    Dayglow, New California Republic
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    Riker: "Black turtleneck... tech fetish... my god. It's Steve Jobs, back from the dead."

    Locutus: "Yeah, I think we're gonna pass on assimilating Acting Captain Genius over there."

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    O'Brien: "Poo gas! My one weakness!"

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    Riker: "-and furthermore, the Jilraxiun Ambassad- you're watching porno on that thing, aren't you?"

    Geordi: "Yep."

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    Data: "Are you aware you were doing Warp 6 in a 25 mile an hour zone? License and registration."

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    Picard: "Will, I know you're thinking of beaming Deanna's pants into space."

    Riker:
    "What gave me away?"

    Worf: "Your hand is hovering dramatically above the transporter controls."

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    Narrator:
    "Was Commander Riker truly abducted by aliens? Or was it just a figment, conjured by a stressed and fractured mind? Find out after the break, on Beyond Belief: Fact or Fiction."

    FRAKESCEPTION
     
  6. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Way Back
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    Worf: Captain. I have returned from the Qo'noS annual "Big Battlin' Batleth Blowout" only to find the entire crew thinks they are - kittens!

    Picard: Mew?
     
  7. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
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    Locutus: And as part of my assimilation of Picard's skills and knowledge I have taken the Borg Drone most prone to just standing and drooling with a vacant expression on his face, stood him on my right and called him Number One.
     
  8. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
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    Troi (OS): "I'm not trying to nitpick, but think you might be a bit more comfortable if you changed into pajamas?"
     
  9. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Thanks for the win! - Mistral
    Picard: "Check the sensors, Mr. Worf. I want to know who farted!"
     
  10. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Riker(thinking): "The next time I flop back onto my bed, I have got to remember to take the phaser off of my belt..."
     
  11. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Jul 1, 2011
    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
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    Riker: Locutus of Borg, you say the Borg represent perfection but they still couldn't cure your baldness!

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    Troi's karaoke attempt at Child in Time did not go well, the crew always called her the screaming banshee afterwards...


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    LaForge: They call it the stairway to heaven.

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    Data: Behold! My stroboscopic orgasm inducer!

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    Picard: What is that brown thing down there to my left numba one?
    Riker: Just Troi's ass sir.

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    Riker: (screaming) No! You are not putting my manhood under the cold examination of a laboratory!
     
  12. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Way Back
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    Did I leave the polarity reverser on?
     
  13. Gil T.Azell

    Gil T.Azell Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2005
    Location:
    Gil T.Azell
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    O'Brien:"Ohh Bloody Hell...." (Braaaappppppp)

    Troi: "Oh dear god that has some hang time"

    O'Brien: "Klingon Tacos., Sorry about that Counselor"
     
  14. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    PICARD: To hell with their harmony being off. I'm not even sure they're singing the same song!
     
  15. Leviathan

    Leviathan Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Sep 14, 2004
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    Pavel Chekov impression night was always a hit.
     
  16. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Finn
    Thanks for the 'shop win

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    Riker: I don't remember leaving Miles O'Brien's bachelor's party last night
    Geordi: Why is Data's head bolted to the ceiling?
     
  17. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Way Back
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    Worf: Transporter room, one to beam to Borg vessel.
    Locutus: Where is Worf going Number One?
    Wesley <snickering to Ro>: "Going Number One."
    Riker: He's gone to transmit a weaponized code into your Collective.
    Locutus: What is it, an algorithm?
    Riker: Let's just say we're never gonna give you up.
    Borg: NEVER GONNA GIVE NEVER GONNA GIVE NEVER GONNA GIVE....

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    Riker: Mrs Troi? Are you still here? I'm not changing out of my uniform, you know!

    Voice in Riker's head: <tee hee>


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    And Iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiyyyeeeeiiiiiiiii...

    Will always

    Beam up youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuooo....


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    Nerds.

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    Riker: Ready to try your Bigfoot call again, LaForge?
    Data: I do not believe the Bigfeet are convinced.
    Worf: Sh! I hear them! Cunning coyote mimicry.

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    Riker: We're...working on a rescue plan, sir. We'll be in touch.
     
    Last edited: Nov 1, 2012
  18. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    DATA: Data to Worf. We have got a 10-82 in Riker's quarters.

    WORF (over comm): Unauthorized personnel?

    DATA: No, that is a 10-07.

    WORF: Then what's a 10-82?

    DATA: Disappearing a dead hooker from the Commander's quarters.
     
  19. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Way Back
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    Winston Worf: That's thirty minutes away. I'll be there in ten.
     
  20. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
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    Data: "Captain, are you sure it's a good idea to 'hot wire' the ship?"

    Picard: "I tried calling Triple-A, but apparently I forgot to renew our membership."