TNG Caption This! 288: Loads of fun!

Discussion in 'The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Oct 22, 2012.

  1. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Shangri-La
    Thanks for the win!

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    Picard: I really don't have time to deal with this. Tell Lwaxana I'm launching a deep space probe. She'll understand.

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    Riker: Do you think the captain knows?
    Data: Forensic analysis indicates the photographs could be photoshopped.
    LaForge: We'd better let him know Lwaxana has changed her facebook status to married... with pictures.

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    Argyle: A fat Scotsman was good enough for the first Enterprise... damned affirmative action costing me my job!

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    Data: Most intruging... may I... touch them?
    -turbolift opens-
    Troi: Perhaps now's not the good time. The captain gets territorial about me and his chair.

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    Data: Signal from Starfleet command, sir. Admiral Nechayev orders you to stop fucking around and get some shit done.
    Picard: The bitch... everyone thinks I turned down promotion because I wanted to explore... I just didn't want to work with her every day.
     
  2. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Picard: "Oops! Sorry, Bev! I didn't realize you were so ticklish there!"
     
  3. Trekker4747

    Trekker4747 Boldly going... Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2001
    Location:
    Kansas City
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    Picard: "I once caught a fish..."

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    Geordi: I don't get it, it's chocolate ice cream, isn't it?
    Riker: That's not what they're implying.
    Data: Fascinating...

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    Argyle: Look at what you did! Bad boy!

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    Data: And the the second girl too the cup and...

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    There you go, Geordi. A nice low-levels squeaker for you.
     
  4. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Rekindling the light of civilization
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    Picard: Come out to the Neutral Zone, we'll get together, have a few laughs.... Never again I think, Tomalak!

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    Riker: Now switch to subdermal scan of the ambassador's party.
    Geordi: Ewwwwww!
    Data: Commander, it's been centuries and no one has ever found another explosive sneaker. Can we stop now?
    Riker: <rolls eyes furtively at Geordi> Deploy the uteran probes, Commander.
    Geordi: Ewwwwww!


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    Argyle: Alright, let's do this. Before we start you should know I was three-year Pec-Twitching champion of the Academy!

    Riker: You're going down, McGuillicutty!

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    Troi: I sense someone is coming.
    Data: I would love to get my hands on whatever you've got on Picard that keeps you aboard this ship.
    Troi: Let's just call it...an aversion to explosive decompression, Commander Think-Too-Much.

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    Picard: Captain's log, supplemental. I'm still trying to decide which station will still have a job at the end of the day: Ops or Helm.
    Geordi: Loser gets a new cranial hatch with a hacksaw.
    Data: I agree to those terms.
     
  5. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Out of my brain on the 5:15
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    DATE: Then he threatens his spouse saying "one of these days, Alice. Pow. Zoom Right to the Moon!" I fail understand how the blow could send her to the Moon. "Ralph" is a large man, but I doubt a blow from his fist could cause "Alice" to break free of the Earth's gravity and be sent on a trajectory to the Moon.
     
  6. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Location:
    Finn
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    Picard: Computer, locate Wesley Crusher

    Computer: *Majel's voice* Wesley Crusher is in Science Lab 4

    Picard: Mr. Worf, lock on Wesley and transport him to that big lake with some camping supplies immediately!

    Worf: Uh...Yes, Sir.... Done!

    Picard: Ensign, get us the hell out of here before Wesley uses his camping supplies to get back up here, maximum warp!

    Geordi: Aye, Sir!

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  7. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
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    Troi: "Hey, could you put a kibbosh on the fistbumps? Yes, I admit I prefer the full functionality of an android, but I don't want Will...or Worf........................................or Jean-Luc or Tasha to know."

    <brief pause>

    Troi: "They're right behind us, aren't they?"



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    Picard: "Are you gentleman finally convinced?"

    Data: "About what, Sir?"

    Picard: "That next to me, Numbah One's poses are those of a rank amateur."
     
  8. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
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    Crewman: "OK, Argyle, you're out. I didn't say 'Simon says.'"
     
  9. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
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    Few knew that when things got slow on the Enterprise, Captain Picard took up juggling, albeit unsuccessfully.
     
  10. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Finn
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    O'Brien: *over comm* My apologizes, sir! I forgot to to finish the transporter adjusters before beaming up the doctor. My readings said she beamed midair in your ready room. Is she okay?

    Picard: Perfect. Just perfect, Chief....
     
  11. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    T'Girl
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    Picard: "Sorry, a snark ward of the pith?"

    Darth Vadar (os): "Nooooooo !!"

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    Picard: "...and I look out the shuttle view port and there's this ... thing out on the stabilizer."

    Deanna: "I see."

    Picard: "Well, when I try to point it out to Beverly, naturally there's nothing there."

    Deanna: "Go on."

    Picard: "So when I look again, this thing is tearing apart the port warp nacelle ..."

    :)
     
  12. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Out of my brain on the 5:15
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    PICARD: Thank you God!
     
  13. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Rekindling the light of civilization
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    Qoy qeylIs Beverly. Qoy puqbe'pu' and Troi. yoHbogh matlhbogh je SuvwI' Say'Death to Wesley' may' 'Iw. maSuv manong 'ej maHoHchu'. nI'be' yInmaj 'ach wovqu'. batlh maHeghbej 'bang Ensign Ro' qIjDaq vavpu'ma' DImuv. pa' jackass Riker out the airlock maSuvtaHqu'. Four Lights. Four lights. There are four lights ma'ov. Qoy qeylIs Kill LaForge. Qoy puqbe'pu' and Data too.....


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    Riker: What the...
    Data
    : It is...gibberish, sir. The captain's song makes no sense.
    Geordi: Thank you, Counselor Troi.
     
    Last edited: Oct 26, 2012
  14. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Oct 26, 2012
    Location:
    Quebec City
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    Picard: Computer, please talk dirty to me with Lwaxana’s voice.

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    Data: You’re right, the Blu-Ray TNG edition gives us a clear view on captain’s crotch.

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    Picard: Data, can you scan behind screen, I feel they’re looking at my crotch.

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    Argyle: Commander Riker, he said that I will be fired and my functions of beardy officer and chief engineers will be taken by two dudes on bridge.

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    Data: ...and then, she put chocolate on my fully functional and anatomically correct device and took it like that.
    Troi: Yummy!
     
  15. Honorable Ensign

    Honorable Ensign Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Jan 27, 2004
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    Picard: Sorry, ladies. I had no idea that shower floor panel was a one-way mirror!

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    Spiner: Rock, paper, scissors to tell Denise about "Skin of Evil"?
     
  16. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    The visitor's bullpen
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    Alien (in Stephen Stucker voice): Where did you get that UNIFORM? It's AWFUL! Those shoes, and that communicator...GEEEEEEEEZ!
     
  17. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Out of my brain on the 5:15
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    RIKER: If the two of you don't know why the hell that's flashing, I sure don't.
     
  18. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
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    Newscaster (OS): "Police have released the names of alleged clients of a woman who used her Zumba dance studio in the U.S. state of Maine for..."

    Geordi (to self): "Oh, so that's why the captain is always on his way to Zumba whenever you need him these days."



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    Data: "Captain, I can't do anything with this steering."

    <brief pause>

    Data: "Maybe this time it wasn't such a good idea to use National for our starship rental."
     
  19. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Screen shot from the rarely seen episode "Picard and the Lilliputians".
     
  20. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
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    Picard: "Who the hell yelled 'Down in front' ?"[​IMG]
     

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