TNG Caption This! 283: Ready to roll!

Discussion in 'The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Sep 17, 2012.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    Hello everyone, with this I conclude my "Apologies Tour." Very sorry about my tardiness recently in starting the contests. Massively busy, out of gas at the end of the day, craziness on the weekends. Not excuses, just the truth.


    [​IMG]

    First up to the plate, we have the "Getting started" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Hope you're okay with being the annoying comic relief" Award, going to:

    Next, we have "The lighting really makes it look red!" Award, going to:


    Next, we have the "A long, strange trip" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Hindsight is 20/20" Award, going to:

    Our photoshop award, goes to:


    [​IMG]

    Many thanks to everyone who participated and congratulations to our winners!

    Lets continue on with a new contest!

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    [​IMG]

    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    [​IMG]

    Data: Your art project is very interesting, Captain. But shouldn't we discuss the Romulan War Fleet instead?

    [​IMG]

    Data: (thinking) Wow, I really am the cool one.

    [​IMG]

    Worf: Fold.

    Riker: The game hasn't started yet, Worf.

    [​IMG]

    Worf: You are correct, Sir. This device appears to be monitoring how often you tug on your uniform.


    [​IMG]

    There was confusion when Troi hit on Picard and Beverly hit on Riker.
     
  3. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    Thanks for the win, LeadHead!

    [​IMG]

    Data: Very impressive, Geordi. Incidentally, I just made a full-size one of these on the holodeck. Took about twelve seconds."


    [​IMG]

    Worf: "Commander, I wasn't going to make an issue about having an empath in a poker game, but the fact that you fold every time she touches her left ear makes it even more troubling."


    [​IMG]

    Picard: "No, I don't think it would be appropriate for you to wear a comfy velour sweater, too!"
     
  4. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
    [​IMG]

    DATA: I woke up this morning with a bad hangover
    And my penis was missing again.
    This happens all the time.
    It's detachable.
    [background singing begins: "detachable penis" over and over]

    This comes in handy a lot of the time.
    I can leave it home, when I think it's gonna get me in trouble,
    or I can rent it out, when I don't need it.
    But now and then I go to a party, get drunk,
    and the next morning I can't for the life of me
    remember what I did with it.
    First I looked around my apartment, and I couldn't find it.
    So I called up the place where the party was,
    they hadn't seen it either.
    I asked them to check the medicine cabinet
    'cause for some reason I leave it there sometimes
    But not this time.
    So I told them if it pops up to let me know.
    I called a few people who were at the party,
    but they were no help either.
    I was starting to get desperate.
    I really don't like being without my penis for too long.
    It makes me feel like less of a man,
    and I really hate having to sit down every time I take a leak.
    After a few hours of searching the house,
    and calling everyone I could think of,
    I was starting to get very depressed,
    so I went to the Kiev, and ate breakfast.
    Then, as I walked down Second Avenue towards St. Mark's Place,
    where all those people sell used books and other junk on the street,
    I saw my penis lying on a blanket
    next to a broken toaster oven.
    Some guy was selling it.
    I had to buy it off him.
    He wanted twenty-two bucks, but I talked him down to seventeen.
    I took it home, washed it off,
    and put it back on. I was happy again. Complete.
    People sometimes tell me I should get it permanently attached,
    but I don't know.
    Even though sometimes it's a pain in the ass,
    I like having a detachable penis.

    [background voices continue to sing "detachable penis" for
    a while, then out]


    In case you were wondering

    [​IMG]

    DATA: Then we delete the plank....

    [​IMG]

    TROI: I am sensing a straight, aces high.

    GEORDI: Fold

    WORF: I'm out.

    CRUSHER: Fold.

    RIKER: Cut that out!!!!

    [​IMG]

    PICARD: I wish I knew how to quit you!
     
  5. Valin

    Valin Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2003
    Location:
    Helium, Barsoom

    [​IMG]

    Data: "Geordi, I see that you like to keep the engine room 'shipshape'. Get it? 'Shipshape'."

    Geordi :"We should have never insisted that you learn about humor."
     
  6. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
    LeadHead, TFTW. :)

    [​IMG]

    Data: "The kitchen sends their apologies; they're out of everything but raspberry sherbet."

    Picard: "Merde. I was really in the mood for rainbow today."



    [​IMG]

    Geordi: "This took me 48 hours. Now I just need to wait for the glue to dry. Don't move a muscle."

    Data (to self): "I guess this was not a good time to activate my sneezing subroutine...especially since I forgot where the 'stifle' button is."



    [​IMG]

    Crusher (sotto voce): "Deanna, what are you doing? The side of the cards that counts is the front."
     
  7. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Finn
    [​IMG]

    Data: *thinking* I'd love to push someone off this ship.
     
  8. Mojochi

    Mojochi Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2007
    [​IMG]

    Data: The arcade game said "Get a prize every time!" I did not know it would be the same prize every time.

    [​IMG]

    Testosterone: Some people can win a hand with it. Some people can't

    [​IMG]

    Carpet cleaning required exact coordinates & a precise transporter signal lock

    [​IMG]

    Picard: Have Data sent in here
    Riker: Which data?
    Picard: There's more than one?
    Riker: I'd think there's tons
    Picard: Well, send in the Data with the information
    Riker: You want information from data?
    Picard: Right
    Riker: Well that's what it's there for
    Picard: He!
    Riker: I didn't think it was that funny
    Picard: What?
    Riker: The data
    Picard: Which Data?
    Riker: The data with the information
    Picard: Well, of course Data isn't funny
    Riker: Well, it can be
    Picard: HE!
    Riker: Exactly
    Picard: I just need Data for the debriefing
    Riker: Oh... you want the mission data
    Picard: Data is on the mission?
    Riker: I'd imagine
    Picard: Well have Data brought back here, at once
    Riker: Which data?
    Picard: Merde
     
  9. Holdfast

    Holdfast Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2000
    Location:
    17 Cherry Tree Lane
    You don't need explain yourself to us! It must take ages to put these contests together for us to have fun in, and all for free. :cool:



    [​IMG]

    DATA: I believe the pink organic substance in these globes may indeed be sentient.
    PICARD: Extraordinary! Doctor, your opinion?
    CRUSHER (thinking): Every time I try cooking, it ends up being mistaken for a new lifeform. I just don't get where I'm going wrong; I follow the recipe exactly...



    [​IMG]

    DATA: Geordi, your approach to boosting the Enterprise's power output is certainly novel, but I think you may have overlooked the lack of a following wind in space.



    [​IMG]

    RIKER: I raise you an awkward relationship arc with Deanna Troi.
    WORF: Call.



    [​IMG]

    WORF: I'm sorry Captain, I'm unable to detect any traces of giving a damn about your missing contact lens.



    [​IMG]

    PICARD: Let me get this right; the pizza's free if it doesn't get here in 30 minutes?
    RIKER: In deep space, we just can't lose.
     
  10. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
    [​IMG]

    Crusher: It's no good... after a HD contest I just can't get back into DVD screengrabs.


    [​IMG]

    Data: Inquiry. What is the meaning of "We're on a mother fucking boat"?


    [​IMG]

    Worf: With all due respect Sir, aren't the odds stacked against the men in this game of strip poker?


    [​IMG]


    Worf: The good news is, Spot didn't soil your carpet.

    Picard: Great. What's the bad news?

    Worf: Geordi did.


    [​IMG]

    Riker: You don't so much look "Ready to roll" as "Ready for your slippers and a cup of cocco".
     
  11. Xaios

    Xaios Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Aug 30, 2012
    [​IMG]

    Picard: Mr. Data, I found your perormance on the Amorgosa observatory to be quite troubling, so I had Dr. Crusher and Mr. Laforge develop some bigger balls for you.
    _______________________

    [​IMG]

    Geordi: Now, if you had pushed her over the poop deck, THAT would have been funny!
    _______________________

    [​IMG]

    Riker: Dammit, Worf!
    Worf: The point of this game is to win using psychological manipulation. Also, he who smelt it, dealt it sir.
    _______________________

    [​IMG]

    Picard: Lieutenant, what in the devil are you looking for?
    Worf: An alien that I can beat in a fight...
    _______________________

    [​IMG]

    Picard: What happens on Risa, stays on Risa.
     
  12. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    [​IMG]

    Data: "I see Doctor Crusher is culturing extra supplies of tri-penicillin. May I assume we are visiting Risa again?"
     
  13. NCC-1701-B

    NCC-1701-B Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2009
    Location:
    Liverpool
    [​IMG]

    Picard: Are we in an HD screencap yet?

    Riker: I'm afraid not sir...
     
  14. grabthars hammer

    grabthars hammer Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2005
    Location:
    New Jersey
    [
    [​IMG]
    Data: And where would the crew reverse polarity?
    Geordi: There was no such thing yet!
    Data: Such unfortunate people.


    [​IMG]
    Worf: How much longer must we play, Commander?
    Riker: Just a couple more hours, until the Captain's violin interpretation of Wagner's Complete Ring Cycle.
    Worf: I miss the Borg.


    [​IMG]
    Worf: There are no traces of the alien microbe, however, there seem to be numerous traces of Commander Riker's DNA all over the table.
    Picard: I should make a note to keep this room locked... and sprayed with penicillin.


    [​IMG]
    Picard: You can be my wing-man anytime, Number One!
    Riker: No, you can be mine!
     
  15. doubleohfive

    doubleohfive Fleet Admiral

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2001
    Location:
    Hollywood, CA
    [​IMG]

    Abed's idea for role-playing Star Trek: The Next Generation was fun, even when it was just Shirley, Britta, Annie, Troy and Jeff.

    [​IMG]

    Even though it was a great idea at the time, Ron Moore would have to wait another decade before finding an actor awesome enough to do "the Look" believably.
     
    Last edited: Sep 18, 2012
  16. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2004
    Location:
    Patrolling Sector 2814
    Damn, doing my customary "lookover of the thread" before posting wasn't a great idea. Too many good ones already! I'll do my best to try, but there were a few, already, I'd bet money will win!

    And Nerys Myk, love the King Missile reference!

    [​IMG]

    Data: I do not understand. Commander Riker told me I needed to cock block you, so I developed a method for identifying and terminating roosters while they were still in the egg. I am afraid I must report my failure to the commander. He will be most displeased.

    [​IMG]

    Data: Interesting Geordi, you've managed to cultivate a hobby that will never be mentioned again. Now you can add "model ship building" next to "successful lady's man" on your resume!

    [​IMG]

    Worf: I am sorry, Commander, I had no idea that the "kronk" was not a traditional part of fizzbin.

    [​IMG]

    Worf: Sir, I understand that the budget is tight now, but I request that Starfleet look into a better carrier plan for the tricorder. I am only able to get a signal when I am under your desk.

    [​IMG]

    The HoYay is strong with these two.
     
  17. Sumghai

    Sumghai Lieutenant Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Jul 17, 2012
    Location:
    Christchurch, New Zealand
    [​IMG]

    Picard: Two hundred years of technological innovation after Archer, and they still haven't found a remedy for squeaking deck plating...
     
  18. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
    [​IMG]
    Picard: Any look with the grow-your-hair spreads?
    Data: Sadly no sir, it won't stick to anything.
    Picard: (sighs) Continue your efforts, for twenty years I've endured this curse, so I suppose I can wait a couple more weeks.

    [​IMG]
    Worf: How do we beat a man who can see the underside of our cards?
    Riker: We hope he has the decency not to cheat.
     
  19. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Riker: "If you are interested, sir."

    Picard: "Oh, I am. I just didn't realize you swung that way."
     
  20. doubleohfive

    doubleohfive Fleet Admiral

    Joined:
    Aug 17, 2001
    Location:
    Hollywood, CA
    :guffaw:

    WINNER!