TNG Caption This! 280: Everybody just have a good time

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by LeadHead, Aug 25, 2012.

  1. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    Happy Saturday to everyone!


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Repairing the Timeline" award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Making my reservations now," Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "There goes your allowance..." Award, going to:


    Next, we have the "I guess that's what happens when you transform the Captain" Award, going to:

    Next, we have the "Special Guest Appearance" Award, going to:

    A Special "Outfoxed by LeadHead" Award goes to:


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    Congrats to our winners! Many thanks to everyone who participated!

    Continuing my pattern of not putting many details together about a LeadHead's 100 contest celebration plus 25 years of TNG, I'm still keeping that in development.

    I'm slightly unsure about when I will put up next weeks contest. It'll either be sometime friday... or sometime in the following 3 days. I'll aim for friday if at all possible.

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    Enjoy!
     
  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Worf: Great, neither of us know how to use the transporter. Where's a qualified extra when you need one?

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    La Forge: Coordinates Locked, Captain. You'll beam right into the middle of your family reunion.

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    Picard: Be calm, we come in peace.

    Worf: Phasers locked on target.

    Picard: Crap.

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    La Forge: Looks like there may be some issues with the 1st season blu-ray audio, Commander.

    Riker: Dang, we'll have to offer replacement discs.

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    Worf: Enough! after listening to both of you bicker, I'm convinced that you are both without honor!
     
  3. Mojochi

    Mojochi Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Aug 18, 2007
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    Worf: I told you I could do it. Now look what you've done. I have half of the captain & you have half

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    I'll save you the mutiny. You're on your own

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    Picard: I'm clearly an unarmed man here. So why don't you lower your shields?

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    Riker: I could use a back rub

    Geordi: Creepy much? Go ask Data

    Riker: I did. Why do you think my back hurts?

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    Worf: Look, Doctor. You want to save them. I want to kill them. Let's compromise. I'll kill some & just maim the rest
     
  4. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Data: "Worf, would you mind stepping aside? I would really like to perform this transport myself. If you could just move over a bit? You are in the way! I cannot reach the controls! If you would just let me--"
    Worf: "Clearly, you have never viewed Mr. Spock's instructional video on 'How to Take Control of the Transporter.'"


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    LaForge: "Are you sure about this, Captain? Remember, you only get one chance to make a first impression!"


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    Picard: "Temba, his arms wide?"
    Tamarian (on viewscreen): "Troi, her garments discarded?"
    Troi: "Worf, his communication link closed!"


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    Riker: "What was that you just whispered under your breath, Geordi? Sounded like 'overbearing, micromanaging twit!'"


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    Picard: "We've just completed a comprehensive cost/benefits analysis on the new Holographic Doctor software. And, well, there's no easy way to say this, Beverly..."
    Worf: "Been nice workin' with ya."
     
    Last edited: Aug 26, 2012
  5. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2011
    Thanks for the win you man with head of lead:

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    Worf: Are you sure Chief O'Brien will appreciate the humour in setting his controls to play "Riverdance" everytime he uses them?

    Data: My studies of the 20th century comedian "Jim Davidson" suggests extreme stereotypes are more amusing. I have also studied several of his jokes related to your skin colour, would you like to hear one?


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    Stewart: Ah, Mr Berman. I'd like to begin salary negotiations for the fourth season.


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    Picard: And my favourite thing about Troi is...

    Worf: Is this where you say "She's right behind me"?

    Picard: Unless she's right in front of me I don't care where she is.


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    Geordi: After extensive orbital scans we've firmly established that the planet is blue.


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    Worf: ...And then I was all like, "Your father was a liar and a traitor" and then I...

    Hello? Anyone home? Jeeez, why don't you two just get a room already?
     
  6. Cmdr Ji Qi Ren

    Cmdr Ji Qi Ren Ensign Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2012
    Location:
    England
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    Geordi: *Sigh* Why can't I get a girl friend?
    Riker: Oh you know, it's easy. Dating is all evolutionary, really.
     
  7. Cmdr Ji Qi Ren

    Cmdr Ji Qi Ren Ensign Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2012
    Location:
    England
    Picard: Mr LaForge, this is your annual Performance Management interview. I hope you've met your targets. Or else .......
    LaForge: Well, Sir... I've added some really cool Ascii art to the transporter. They are snakes!
    Picard: Indeed.....
     
  8. Holdfast

    Holdfast Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2000
    Location:
    17 Cherry Tree Lane
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    Tonight, On A Very Special TNG: Worf and Data attempt to play a piano duet on the transporter console, with tragic consequences for those on the pad at the time.

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    GEORDI: Let me get this right, you want me to beam you in directly underneath Dr Crusher's bathroom?
    PICARD: Phaser is primed for peephole-making!

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    PICARD: No, I swear, it really was this big. I would have reeled it in but it broke the line and swam away.

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    GEORDI: That's no moon...
    RIKER: No crossovers!

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    PICARD (thinking): I love it when she crosses her arms; it really accentuates her boobs.
    WORF (thinking): I love it when she crosses her arms; those sharp elbows would cause serious damage in combat.
     
  9. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    WORF: I'm pretty sure its red, blue, yellow then circle.

    DATA: I have a positronic brain. The sequence is red, circle, yellow, blue.

    O'BRIEN (os): We getting beamed up or not?

    WORF: Yeah, in a minute. Could you answer a question, Chief?

    O'BRIEN: Its red, circle, blue, yellow ya idiots!!!!!!



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    LAFORGE: Is that really your best "Bad ass mother" pose?

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    PICARD: Mister Riker, please put your pants on!!!!!

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    RIKER: Can you get the football game on that?
     
  10. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 10, 2005
    Location:
    The visitor's bullpen
    BEVERLY (thinking): I love it when Jean-Luc falls asleep standing up, the glare off his bald head makes a handy night light.
     
  11. Supernuke

    Supernuke Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Jul 27, 2008
    Location:
    USA
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    Picard: Are YOU talking to ME? I don't see anyone else here...
    Worf: They've fired phasers!
     
  12. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 26, 2004
    Location:
    Patrolling Sector 2814
    Data: If only we could find someone who can operate this transporter...
    [yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-rPEguSf35c[/yt]


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    Data: Beating this level is easy, here let me show you...
    Worf: There is no honor in receiving help on an Angry Birds level from an android!

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    Geordi: No sir, I haven't seen Dirty Harry, but believe me, I still don't think you're doing it right.

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    Picard: *singing* So now I come to you, with open arms, nothing to hide, believe what I say. So here I am with open arms, hoping you'll see what your love means to me, Open arms...
    Troi *thinking to herself*, I really hope mother doesn't fall for this. Otherwise, I'm going to have to call, "Mr. Can't Carry a Tune," "Dad."

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    Riker: So, I was showing her my "O" face...
    Geordi: With all due respect, sir, you're just rubbing it in that I can never get a date, aren't you?
    Riker *pause* Yeah, pretty much...

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    Picard: Relax, Beverly, we were just joking about killing Wesley....now can you excuse Mr. Worf and myself for a minute.
    *pulls Worf into the corner to talk privately*
    Ix-nay on illing-kay the -oy-bay.
     
  13. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
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    Captain Archer: Oh boy.
     
  14. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    May 31, 2009
  15. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    PICARD: Well, I guess all that's left to say is, come here and give your father a hug, Wesley.
     
  16. CorporalCaptain

    CorporalCaptain Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 12, 2011
    Location:
    "Who are you?"
    Thanks for the win, LeadHead! I'm honored.

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    Geordi: Now Captain, you're sure this cardboard cutout of you will fool the Mintakans into releasing Counselor Troi?

    Picard (over comm): You know as well as I that the Book of the Great Bird says to try every nonviolent approach before using force. Energize!


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    Picard: No Beverly, I'm afraid it's much worse than that. He's been caught hacking into Ensign Lefler's laundry chute.
     
  17. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2012
    Location:
    Shangri-La
    -gasp- Another contest without a win?! I'm losing my touch! :lol:

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    Data: Are you sure this is ethical, Lieutenant?
    Worf: This will teach Chief O'brien to remeber to log off his Spacebook account when going off duty.

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    LaForge: Captain, you know you don't -have- to go to Lwaxana's birthday party just because you were invited?

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    Picard: I already powered down weapons and lowered shields, is it really necessary to raise my hands Tamalok?

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    Riker: Gerodi why the hell aren't you wearing any pants?!



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    Picard: Why are you here Mr Worf?
    Worf: I am serving child support papers via Doctor Crusher's request.
    Crusher: It's time you took responsibility for Wesley!
     
  18. Herkimer Jitty

    Herkimer Jitty Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2008
    Location:
    Dayglow, New California Republic
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    Worf:
    "I have no idea what these controls do."

    Data: "Neither does Chief O'Brien."

    Worf: "So that's why he looks so worried every time he beams us."

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    Picard: "Mistah Data... set phasers to frag."

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    Picard: "We are peaceful explorers, and we come in peace. If you'll lower your shields, I can destroy - ah, come over to discuss this ."

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    Riker: "Geordi, you barely have any money or minerals in this game save. No wonder you have to keep probing planets..."

    Geordi: "It's that, or spend another 86 hours exploring planets in the Mako. Fuuuuuuuuck that."

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    Picard: "Tell that son of yours that it's Mr. Worf's turn to save the ship."
     
  19. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Austin, TX
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    Picard: Whatever you do, don't tell the doctor

    Data: Yes, Sir
     
  20. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    WORF: I've still no idea why that beagle materialized on the transporter pad.

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    WORF: You want I should leave, so the two of you can have sex?