TNG Caption This #214: The Picard!

Discussion in 'Star Trek: The Next Generation' started by Santa Garrus, May 21, 2011.

  1. Santa Garrus

    Santa Garrus Calibrating the Holidays Premium Member

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    Good evening Ladies and Gents! Apologies for posting this new one so late, just another busy Friday for yours truly.


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    First up to the plate, we have the "Action Hero Haircut" Award, going to....

    Next up, we have the "Danger, Gomtu, Puns!" Award going to...

    in the third position on the lineup we have the "Defending the honor of the girl you like whose married to someone else" Award, going to...

    Batting cleanup, we have the "Insert Name Here, signed Jean-Luc Picard" award, going to...

    Pinch Hitting, we have the "Okay, that closes one plot hole" Award, going to...



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    Congratulations to all of our winners, and many thanks to all of our contestants! Now, the next few contests I'm planning on having them center on a character in general, so why not start with the Captain?

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    Last edited: May 21, 2011
  2. Santa Garrus

    Santa Garrus Calibrating the Holidays Premium Member

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    Picard: Yup, I'm your God. Thought I'd have hair didn't ya?

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    Picard: Wait, Number One, he might become a recurring character. Oooo maybe not.

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    By the later half of the series Patrick Stewart just stood still during action scenes, hoping nobody would notice.

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    Data: Heading for Shuttlebay 2.

    Picard: Which one is that?

    Data: Crap! I was hoping you knew!

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    Picards attempt to cook dinner for the crew had disastrous results.
     
  3. BlobVanDam

    BlobVanDam Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Patrick Stewart - Ah Mr Braga, this is what I think of your script. Killing off Kirk, yeah that's gonna happen.....

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    Patrick Stewart - No, hold off for a minute Frakes, and let's listen to his idea. Did he mention the Borg? This one actually might not suck.

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    Picard - Don't change the channel, I was watching that. It's called "Girls Gone Warp". I think you'll like it.
     
  4. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

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    JJ ABRAMS (o.s.): Annnnd cut.

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    PICARD: Stand down Mister Riker. Laser pointers are fun till you put someone's eye out.

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    CONN: Get your hands off of my chair before I turn around and slap you!
     
  5. Finngle Bells

    Finngle Bells Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Wesley: (very groggy, mumbling) Captain...what did you do to me...

    Picard: Ogawa! He's coming around!

    Ogawa: Shit, I'll give him something before Beverly shows up....


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    Riker: Damn...No Deanna boobs jiggling.

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    Data: I can see the quarters she wanted from here. I wish she was still around, walking around in there....

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    Small children of the Enterprise: Ohhhh!

    A small boy: *raises hand*

    Picard: *smiles* Nathan

    Nathan: Are you Gandalf?

    Picard: *chuckle* No

    A little chubby Bolian girl: Dr Xavier?
     
  6. TigerOfDarkness

    TigerOfDarkness Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Picard: Force-fields up full, lock phasers on target.
    Riker: Noooooooo, bellaaaayyyy that phaasserrr ooorrderrrr
    ...


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    The photocopier failed to meet the demand for signed photos...
     
  7. Santa Garrus

    Santa Garrus Calibrating the Holidays Premium Member

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    Alien: Am I alive?

    Picard: Not for long. Mister Worf.

    Worf: Aye Sir.
     
  8. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

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    ALIEN: Dude, wear a hat or something the glare off your head is killing me!
     
  9. Herkimer Jitty

    Herkimer Jitty Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Not Picard: "Yo, Being of Light here. Count Iblis is evil as fuck."

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    Picard: (Sigh) "Again with the Romulans..."

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    Picard: "Thank god, after 12 days in this can, I need to take wicked piss. I miss our old shuttlecraft."

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    Emeril Picard: "BAM! Kicked it up a notch!"

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    Picard: "Wait, Numbah One. This is my favorite part."
     
  10. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

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    Picard: "I hate getting stuck behind these big starships. You can't see a thing, and we're liable to be here all afternoon."
     
  11. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

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    Picard decided that from now on he'd better stick with store-bought gifts.
     
  12. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Picard: "James T. Kirk, I can't hear the sound of how awesome you are over the sound of how awesome I am!"


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    Picard: "No, Will, don't fire! Although he may be a deranged, megalomaniacal criminal now, he was once a great and noble man! He deserves better than to be dispatched by that tiny little pussified weapon!"
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2011
  13. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

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    DATA: I fail to find the humor in the way the ship slows down but then as we approach, it speeds up.
     
  14. Isis

    Isis Commodore Commodore

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    Picard: "Will, don't be so fast in pulling the trigger. Lwaxana still owes me a sh*tload of money."
     
  15. Vassa

    Vassa Commander Red Shirt

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    Well Mr. Crusher you had quite the busy day...




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    Hubbel: Helm not responding Sir! It's been disabled.
    Riker: Damn Wesley!


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    Picard: Ensign Crusher you will cease evasive maneuvers immediately.
    Data: Damn Wesley!!

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    Beverly(off-screen): Jean-Luc be careful that is one of Wes' experiments!
    Picard: Damn Wesley!!

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    Picard: No Will, just stun him! If you kill him he won't learn nothing!
    Riker: Damn!
     
  16. Ríu ríu chíu

    Ríu ríu chíu Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Picard: Don't change the channel yet, Numbah One. I want to see what Snooki is up to this week.
     
  17. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Picard: "He's coming around doctor, will he remember any of this?"
    Crusher: "Nothing Captain, we can safely return him to the twenty-first century."
    Abrams: "Lens flare."

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    Conn: Helm is not responding
    Riker: Collision course
    Picard: All hand to escape pods
    Data: Oh man, this is so Takei

    .
     
    Last edited: May 23, 2011
  18. Santa Garrus

    Santa Garrus Calibrating the Holidays Premium Member

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    Picard: Good work, Number One. Your biceps have gotten stronger since the last caption contest.
     
  19. Gil T.Azell

    Gil T.Azell Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Picard: (Thinking) Mento's and Romulan Ale is not a good idea.
     
  20. Finngle Bells

    Finngle Bells Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Riker: Damn it, Remmick! What are you investigating? Am I being investigated?

    Picard: Hold on, Number One. Remmick, what's going on.

    Remmick: We are investigating TATV