Things you'd like to say at work from time to time, but hesitate!

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Gil T.Azell, Feb 15, 2013.

  1. auntiehill

    auntiehill Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    geeking out
    "I don't make the schedules. Go bitch to HR."
     
  2. Collingwood Nick

    Collingwood Nick Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Jan 28, 2002
    I've used that one before. :bolian:
     
  3. Gaseous Anomaly

    Gaseous Anomaly Pimpin' Robot Admiral Premium Member

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    Oct 21, 2005
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    A padded cell
    I really have to watch what I say at work, people on my crew have taken me to HR 5 times in the last year. Luckily it all fell within the scope of my duties and responsibilities. I guess some people just can't handle the truth.
     
  4. sbk1234

    sbk1234 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Los Angeles
    I've faced similar, by people who KNEW what I was saying was a joke, who have said the same or worse, or who weren't even involved. Plain and simple, people just use inappropriate comments as a weapon nowadays.
     
  5. sojourner

    sojourner Admiral Admiral

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    Hey, nice ass! Wanna come home with me after work?
     
  6. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    I hope nobody gets in trouble with their actual job because of something they say in this thread.
     
  7. scotpens

    scotpens Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Los Angeles, CA
    I don't have a co-worker like that, but we do get walk-in customers who must have bathed that morning in a tubful of horrible-smelling cologne. I want to say to these people, "Are you olfactorily challenged or something? Christ, you smell like a goddamn pimp."

    Oh, and it's eau and retch.
     
  8. rhubarbodendron

    rhubarbodendron Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    ^it's the thought that counts, scotpens ;)
    This is slightly off-topic but maybe it qualifies as something one doesn't normally say at work: Yesterday, just when I passed the elevator, one of our computer specialists stepped into it, on his way to the meeting room, and through the closed doors I heard him order: "battle bridge!"
     
  9. Mary Ann

    Mary Ann Knitting is logical Admiral

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    A Canuck in southwest England
    One of the main things I'm tempted to say to a lot of people is "First World problems", and telling them to suck it up. Some of the complaints we get are so incredibly inane it takes a lot of effort to take them seriously which, sadly, is part of the job.
     
  10. Warp Coil

    Warp Coil Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Mar 15, 2001
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    MD, USA
    This is by far my favorite word to use at work. They hate it.
     
  11. Zulu Romeo

    Zulu Romeo World Famous Starship Captain Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 31, 2004
    I read this and was reminded of this cartoon from this week's papers:

    http://oi46.tinypic.com/2s7xaag.jpg
     
  12. Kitty Worrier

    Kitty Worrier Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    "If you have time to surf the internet and make personal calls, you have time to do your job, so here's some work"

    Speaking of ladies wearing pefume heavily, there is someone that sprays body spray or something in the afternoons and it causes migraines for me. I've asked them many times not to do this, so I'm afraid I may have to take this to a supervisor level.
     
  13. Starbreaker

    Starbreaker Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Chattanooga, TN
    Why are you morons standing 10 deep at this time clock when the one right next to it is open?
     
  14. Spot's Meow

    Spot's Meow Vice Admiral Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2004
    Location:
    California
    -You're making a mountain out of a mole hill, get over it, it's NOT that big a deal.
    -You've been doing this job how long? And I've been here one year. And yet I constantly have to call you to correct your shoddy work because you "forgot" how to do it. Ahh!
    -Get over yourself, you are not that important.

    Most of the responses I want to yell out are "oh my god, GET OVER IT." I have a co-worker who makes a big deal out of every little thing. She is swamped with work yet she constantly creates much more work for herself by obsessing over little details that NO ONE CARES ABOUT. I'm a perfectionist, I understand, but at some point you have to just get shit done, instead of spending hours worrying over something that no one will ever notice. She also does work that she just doesn't need to. For instance, we will be destroying all of our paper files soon because they've been digitized, but she still insists on spending hours making sure the folders look perfect, creating new labels and such. NO ONE WILL SEE THEM. WE ARE DESTROYING THEM. I tell her this and she says, "yes but I need to know for myself that I did it right."

    Another co-worker can't get any work done if there is any noise at all. We have a small work space and many discussions need to take place in the hallway since we have no conference rooms and many offices are shared. But any time anyone starts a conversation anywhere near her cubicle, she starts her sighing and tongue clicking and eventually gets up and leaves or tells us to "take it inside an office." It's not like we're talking about personal stuff, these are important work matters. I understand it can be hard to concentrate, but I just want to tell her to get over it and learn to deal.
     
  15. rhubarbodendron

    rhubarbodendron Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Would you guys please shut the damned toilet door?!
     
  16. bigdaddy

    bigdaddy Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Oct 19, 2007
    Location:
    Space Massachusetts
    I've worked at a Lowes, I said everything I have always want to.

    The main ones were...

    "This is America, I don't speak Spanish, so if you have a question learn English." The guy then followed me for 5 minutes before I had to go "Get the hint!"

    One woman was being a pain, so I turned around, a foot away from her and called her a bitch and walked away.

    Once and awhile I couldn't help someone and they would ask for a manager and my reply would be something like "I'd like to see one too, if you find one tell them I say hi".

    A favorite of ours, someone was written up for once, was when someone asked "Where is the ______?" The number one answer, "Home Depot".

    I didn't really fight or argue with coworkers that often, we just shared stories of how much we hate costumers and the no show managers.

    The only thing I have ever held back on was going "Fuck off" to two of my managers (I had about 15). That place was a living hell, it's retail, but it's the hell of retail. Contractors ask you how to build things, really scary. Even my last day there I didn't tell my asshole boss to fuck himself. If I ever see him again I will, what a fucking lazy jackass.
     
  17. Mary Ann

    Mary Ann Knitting is logical Admiral

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    A Canuck in southwest England
    I also work in a retail setting, and while I understand wanting to say rude things to customers from time to time, actually doing so is downright unprofessional. If I or one of my colleagues has to deal with a rotten customer we do so professionally and then have a moan about it out of earshot of any customers. We're lucky in that management is very supportive of us when dealing with difficult customers, but in turn we're expected to be professional at all times. It's a fair deal.
     
  18. T'Preea

    T'Preea Commander Red Shirt

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    Feb 5, 2012
    Location:
    Stimulating Data's Synaptic Pathways.
    I work in a grocery store, and I love how my customers; not all of them, thank Rassilon; like to think that they're entitled to everything. I can't tell you how many times I've wanted to holler: "You f**king annoy me, get the h*ll out of my store before I boot you out." They drive me crazy.
     
  19. Mary Ann

    Mary Ann Knitting is logical Admiral

    Joined:
    Apr 16, 2010
    Location:
    A Canuck in southwest England
    Ooh, the entitlement attitude. Drives. Me. Nuts. I firmly believe that everyone should work in retail or a call centre to get a taste of what it's like to be on the receiving end of such an attitude.
     
  20. Trekker4747

    Trekker4747 Boldly going... Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jul 16, 2001
    Location:
    Kansas City
    Ditto. There's plenty of time went interacting with customers on the otherside of the counter I just want to shout "TALK!" I swear, interacting with people I'm really beginning to think even though we've been around in this form for nearly 40,000 years human beings haven't quite completely evolved, or grasped, the whole "talking" thing.