So I bought a safe.

Discussion in 'Star Trek Movies: Kelvin Universe' started by ArcherNX01, Mar 28, 2013.

  1. ArcherNX01

    ArcherNX01 Lieutenant Red Shirt

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    Turns out it doesnt fit the requirements to be a true safe, when I found this out I turned to it and said:

    "You think you're 'A' safe, you are not!"

    Then I went to the shop that I bought it from and said:

    "I have returned, to have my vengence!".
     
  2. SalvorHardin

    SalvorHardin Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    If you had been true to Gene's vision this would not have happened.
    Enjoy these final moments of peace before the lock.
     
  3. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    And you hurled the safe through a window and the safe and a thousand shards of grass cascaded to the streetscape hundreds of feet below.
     
  4. SalvorHardin

    SalvorHardin Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Your salesmen have committed a crime I cannot forgive.
     
  5. lurok

    lurok Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Is there a JJ-Trek facepalm?
     
  6. King Daniel Beyond

    King Daniel Beyond Admiral Admiral

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    I put your safe on this table:
    [​IMG]
    You can't see it because... it is an illusion. A comforting lie told to protect you.
     
  7. Admiral Buzzkill

    Admiral Buzzkill Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Presumably this safe is to be used to store your recordings of oldTrek episodes and movies, against the eventuality that Paramount will send minions out to destroy them all and hence complete J.J.'s utter destruction of Gene's legacy?
     
  8. Xaios

    Xaios Commander Red Shirt

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    I will walk over your cold tumblers.
     
  9. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Judging by your account of your talk with the salesperson, I get that there's greatness in you, but there's not an ounce of humility. You think that you can't make mistakes, but there's going to come a moment when you realize you're wrong about that, and you're going to get your stuff and everyone's stuff under your watch stolen.
     
  10. bbailey861

    bbailey861 Admiral Premium Member

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    I thought minions belonged to Universal.
     
  11. Sindatur

    Sindatur The Grey Owl Wizard Premium Member

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    Dammit, slid in to say this an hour and a half too late :devil:

    Won't do any good though, JJ is too insidious, a safe will not protect what came before from being erased, the minions will just use super high powered magnets to degause them
     
  12. bbailey861

    bbailey861 Admiral Premium Member

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    Where is the picture of this purported safe?
     
  13. Sindatur

    Sindatur The Grey Owl Wizard Premium Member

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    Post #6 by King Daniel
     
  14. The Stig

    The Stig Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    My safe is better than yours... at everything.
     
  15. Xaios

    Xaios Commander Red Shirt

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    When the salesperson kept trying to jam my belongings in the safe, maintaining that "It'll fit." Eventually, the only solution was to disassemble everything. "I do not think that qualifies," I told him.

    Then I noticed that he had torn the edge of a priceless piece of memorabilia.

    "You have no idea what you have done."
     
    Last edited: Mar 29, 2013
  16. SalvorHardin

    SalvorHardin Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Gratuitous underwear shot coming through.

    [​IMG]

    You may continue the conversation.
     
  17. shatastrophic

    shatastrophic Commander Red Shirt

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    :guffaw:After reading the first five comments or so, your phrase went through my head exactly the same. Then as I scroll down there it is! You and I were on the same page!!
     
  18. DaveyNY

    DaveyNY Commodore Commodore

    I believe that it is 'safe' to assume that your 'safe' doesn't qualify as actually being 'safe', as it barely fits on the 'safe' 'safe'-table, that King D has kindly supplied you.

    Therefore...,

    In order to qualify as a 'safe' 'safe', you will need to supply us with the exact 'safe' dimensions of your 'safe' in order to satisfy to the 'Safe' 'Safe'ty Advisory Board, that your 'safe' is 'safe', while in this dimension.

    Otherwise your 'safe' will have to be 'safe'ly stored on another 'safe' table, that is in a much 'safe'er dimension.

    The 'Safe' Safe'ty Advisory Board regrets that you will have to incur all costs of holding your currently un'safe' 'safe', 'safe'ly in this other dimension, but is willing to assist you in 'safe'ly storing your in-'safe' belongings in this dimension, while you attempt to correct said 'safe' safe'ty situation.

    Regrettably, the 'Safe' Safe'ty Advisory Board is also unable to assist you in regards of the "Cold Tumbler Strolling" situation.
    Though it does wish you a warm, 'safe' crossing, when ever you find it necessary to walk across frigid cogs.

    Please be aware that the 'irony' of this has not escaped the 'steely' notice of the 'Safe' 'Safe'ty Advisory Board members.

    :vulcan:
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2013
  19. CorporalClegg

    CorporalClegg Admiral Admiral

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    Does it work under water?
     
  20. Coloratura

    Coloratura Snuggle Princess Premium Member

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    I put minions on my cheese sandwich this morning. It was delicious.