November Contest Entry: Sacrifice (PG-13)

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by Nerys Ghemor, Nov 6, 2008.

  1. Nerys Ghemor

    Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Well, I couldn't hold it back until the weekend.

    This entry is still
    Sigils and Unions of a sort, but it belongs to a different universe. Not the Mirror Universe, but one we caught a glimpse of in a different episode...I'm going to call it the Catacombs of Oralius universe. (Oralius being the Cardassian religion as shown in the DS9 relaunch novels)

    Rated PG-13 for a rough sexual situation alluded to, not directly portrayed.


    ============

    The Cardassian man shivered inside the coldbox, helpless to stop the increasingly violent, increasingly futile contortions as he instinctively cradled his legs up against his chest, curling himself into a tighter and tighter ball as he leaned up against that freezing wall. His microscales had already tightened against the lower layers of his skin as much as they could, but the heat still leached out from his core faster than his daughter’s more resilient metabolism could replenish.

    The girl—just become a woman, he reminded himself—shivered, still conscious, her body retaining a precious degree or two more than his. As for him…a false warmth crept into his limbs, the cloying sense of imagined safety that every Cardassian was raised to know was instead the herald of death. His consciousness was slipping, and he knew then: just as she had stood watch over him times of madness, his pure Cardassian constitution would force her to stand watch over him while he preceded her in death.

    She embraced him as tightly as she could. In this moment, when all his trials would soon come to an end, his only regret was that after all their years on the run, of sleeping amidst the dust and rocks of occupied Cardassia, of countless raids against the invaders who descended upon them in wave after wave of holy zeal, that now his daughter would see him die before she too walked with Oralius.

    That faith had enraged the Bajorans who first came to Cardassia Prime—first in their deceptively beautiful sunships, later in monstrous military dreadnoughts that even the prototypical Gălor-class design could never have overcome. That the Cardassians were heretics against the True Prophets—the Pah-Wraiths, as the Cardassians called them was bad enough. That the alien invaders’ rapid conquest of their planet had only intensified the Cardassians’ embrace of the faith of their Hebitian ancestors infuriated them further. The believers in the Oralian Way had grown complacent after their faith successfully weathered the terrible climactic shift five hundred years ago, and in the days just before the invasion. They had begun to take their belief for granted and there had been corruption among the Guides that in a few generations he suspected would have undone the faith entirely. But now—forced to defend themselves against the devil-worshippers that called them “heretics”…if the Oralian Way died with the last Cardassian, it would do so with the highest honors.

    Not that everyone who called themselves believers prevailed. He’d seen it often enough: how they brought out those damned glowing red trinkets of theirs, those so-called Orbs that promised instant connection to the world of the gods, tempting Cardassian believers with a cheap path to the spiritual plane instead of the prayer, fasting, the trials of faith, the times when it felt like Oralius’ spirit would never come, those things that truly forged the spirit into her likeness. And the punishments they dealt out to those who stood fast…it was the fortunate ones who were lined up and shot on the spot.

    As for him, that first time they had caught up with him eighteen years ago…one of the devil-clerics had selected him as “consort.”

    That witch had known how to trigger one of his manias, known how to warp the ensuing madness to her benefit…even known how to make him respond to her against his will in that most intimate of ways. The shame of his body’s betrayal had crushed him immediately after the manic fog cleared, and it had only been the thought of the child to come that kept him from hurling himself from the roof of that palatial prison during the subsequent depression.

    His daughter was the only good to have come from that accursed woman. Duty to Cardassia and to newborn family had sustained him for the next few months: he could not allow that witch to raise his new daughter to loathe the land of her father, to loathe the embrace of Oralius. He could not allow the girl to become like her. He had waited just long enough for the hybrid infant to gain strength that the long journey back to Cardassia Prime would require, then stolen away in the night with his beautiful daughter wrapped in blankets against the cold no one else on that soul-chilled planet ever seemed to feel.

    Oh, how beautiful she had grown—though he wondered how many others could see that beauty through the bony frailness forced on them by the rationing, and the Bajoran ridges on her nose. He had reminded them often enough that the girl loved Oralius just as much as the next Cardassian, that she would never bend to the false allure of the Pah-Wraiths. Not this beloved girl, who stood steadfastly by her father whenever the Resistance couldn’t steal enough of the right medication from the Bajorans to keep his mind clear, knowing she was the only anchor that could keep the mania from overtaking him completely, the only one that could keep him from slipping under the sea when the mania gave way to the dread lassitude. No—not one who could serve Oralius by caring for the man who should have always been capable of caring for her…she would never give way.

    And when the Bajoran forces had overtaken them on that final raid of the station—the Eye of the True Prophets that glared down upon desert Cardassia from on high—she, like him, did not forsake Oralius, not when they beat him, not when they pried off the macroscales of his neck and chest ridges in front of her and tazed him in the exposed spots over and over again, not even when they announced the final penalty of death in the coldbox for them both.

    Not even when the lead torturer entered the room after her underlings’ dirty work, and revealed herself as that one in whose womb she matured to term. She’d taken great delight in announcing herself to the girl’s father and former consort. Won’t you think of our daughter? she’d pleaded with mock softness. You drag her through bramble and mud for your heresy—look at her; she’s half-starved and covered in dirt! She’ll never want for a thing with me.

    Just like I ‘never wanted for a thing,’ is that it? he had snapped with a sardonic smirk. You can take that proposition and cast it to the eternal tundra where it belongs!

    He didn’t regret it; he’d seen the contempt in his daughter’s eyes as they stood together facing the Bajoran woman.

    He had never hid the truth of her parentage from her, always careful to remind her time and time again that it mattered not if half her genetic code came from that woman: he loved her for the beauty of that Oralius-breathed spirit within her and that was all he’d ever need. Just that last year, though, she had seen the haunted look in his eyes and asked, as she always did, what had happened to him during that captivity. She’d been old enough then…though he spared her the most sordid details, he had finally admitted to her just how she had used him. He had died inside at the humiliating confession—but just as she embraced him in madness, she had embraced him then, too, ever loving, never pitying…

    But in the presence of his tormentor, her rage had burst forth into a bloodcurdling scream. You can’t have him—never, ever again! I won’t let you hurt him!

    You won’t let me? Let me do what? Really, child—you couldn’t have bought that tired old lie of his.

    If you hadn’t done anything, you wouldn’t be so worried what he’d say. They say confession's good for the souls and you certainly have some sins to confess! she’d retorted in the same snide tone as her father. Then her features grew deadly serious. I won’t forsake my father, and I damned well won’t forsake Oralius! The devil-cleric's rage had been too much then; she’d thrown them both naked into the coldbox.

    The voices of memory were too clear now. He cradled his daughter close as he prayed for final deliverance for them both.

    Tears slipped free, caught on the ridges encircling his eyes, but he was far beyond the effort of stopping them now. He knew he was blessed to be one of those selected to give his life for the sake of his faith, but he wished his daughter hadn’t had to suffer for it as well. His lips voicelessly formed the words and he prayed to Oralius she understood. I’m sorry, Ziyal.

    She stroked his long, unkempt black hair just the way she always did when the illness took him. “It’s going to be okay, Daddy.”

    And in that moment, the light played at the edges of his vision and his mind cleared beyond sanity—and in this superlucidity every remaining doubt in his mind surrendered to the overwhelming embrace of a love beyond anything he’d ever felt. He needed no prayer mask now as it moved through him, laid each fear to rest one by one.

    The man they called the Glinn, who now led the resistance in his stead, would someday free his people.

    And soon, very soon, he and his daughter would be together forever in the warmth…

    The dying Cardassian’s lips pulled into one final smile.

    The light overtook him and he gained that which had so often eluded his troubled mind in life.

    Skrain Dukat finally had peace.
     
    Last edited: Nov 7, 2008
  2. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I guess this is survival of a sort-survival of faith over the barrier of death. Very moving.
     
  3. SLWatson

    SLWatson Captain Captain

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    Wow. Stunningly beautiful work; the cold, the story, the CLARITY of it. A twist on the AU theme in a manner not entirely expected or unexpected, but altogether brilliantly done.
     
  4. Nerys Ghemor

    Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    He's had a lot of the more primitive sort of survival in his life, not to mention his struggles at some times against his own brain chemistry. This is how it came to an end. Thank you very much for reading and I'm glad it could move you.

    I experienced something once that to this day I have never figured out--a dream of faith and dying, and the things I felt at the end of it...I can't help but go back to it every so often. I changed the particulars GREATLY, put it into this setting--but the feeling at the end is what I felt.

    I'm very glad to know it flowed right for you--this was kind of an experiment on my part and I'm glad it worked. Thank you as well. :)
     
  5. BrotherBenny

    BrotherBenny Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    This is brilliant.

    Way to move the bar up.
     
  6. trampledamage

    trampledamage Clone Moderator

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    Haven't read it yet, so I'll comment later - just wanted to say don't forget to add a link to the challenge thread. :)
     
  7. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

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    She still didn't have a link so I posted one for her. Trying to be helpful.
     
  8. Nerys Ghemor

    Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Thanks, Xeris...and my bad! Thanks for adding the link! :)
     
  9. Starkers

    Starkers Admiral Admiral

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    Very well written story, and you had me completely barking up the wrong tree. I was so busy thinking the girls mother was Kira that it never occured to me to imagine who her father was. Didn't see that coming!
     
  10. Nerys Ghemor

    Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I'm curious, was it the Mirror Universe you had in mind?

    The girl's mother is this particular universe's version of Tora Naprem--she's probably a vedek-level cleric, however that's referred to in the Pah-Wraith cult, which in this version is the main religion of Bajor--though the fact that the Cardassians know the name Pah-Wraiths instead of "True Prophets" suggests they've found out by some means or another what the Pah-Wraiths really were and what they represent. Partly intel--and partly, I suspect, insights from being religious people themselves, in that universe. There's a saying somewhere in the Bible that reminds believers that they will be known by their fruits--I would expect the Cardassian believers applied a similar test and concluded pretty quickly what was going on.

    Anyway, I thought that since that particular universe's main feature seems to be a reversal of Cardassian/Bajoran circumstances, reversing the Dukat/Tora relationship might be fitting, shocking as it is to imagine what exactly transpired.

    Anyway, glad you liked it...I was worried as soon as I portrayed a Cardassian man and a half-Bajoran daughter, people would immediately figure out who it was and based on this universe's Dukat, not want to read. Glad that wasn't the case!
     
  11. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I figured it out but still found it interesting.
     
  12. CeJay

    CeJay Commodore Commodore

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    I have to be honest. I'm not a big fan of stories which depend heavily on prose and put detail over flow and pace. As such I was a bit hesitant to tackle this one.

    No regrets though. The universe you have created here is an absolutely fascinating reversal of the 'real' universe and an insightful what-if study. What if the Bajorans had been the aggressors and the Cardassians the victims? The mirror universe didn't quite go that way.

    I was also surprised by the revelation at the end. I didn't see that coming.

    Good stuff.
     
  13. Nerys Ghemor

    Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    This is the universe we saw briefly in the TNG episode "Parallels." I've always wondered WHY the Bajorans would've gone on the offensive--so I thought maybe the Pah-Wraiths were somehow dominant in that universe. And Cardassia Prime is very resource-poor, so I was stuck trying to figure out what would anger the Bajorans so much that they'd feel the need to invade and occupy. That's where the holy war idea came from: the Oralian Way angered them so they started a jihad.

    And thanks...I'm glad I could get you to step out of your comfort zone!

    I enjoy many styles of writing, but one of my greatest favorites is Dostoyevsky--things like Crime and Punishment and The Brothers Karamazov, which I know a lot of people can't stand.

    In this case...time goes a little funny when you believe you're in your final moments. I think I mentioned in a comment to someone else that I had a very powerful dream where in it, I found myself at the end of my life. It's hard to really describe what happens to one's thought processes, but it's like every strand of your life starts to pull together right in that one moment before you go on into the next world.

    As for Dukat...I always had this sense in the way Marc Alaimo acted the character that if not for the choices he made, he could've gone two very different ways, both of them extreme: either great glory or great ignominy. We know which one he chose in canon. I wondered if perhaps in circumstances like that--and with faith to give him some sort of moral compass beyond self-aggrandizement--he might have turned out differently. The bipolar disorder, though, is a feature that in my continuity is going to be across universes: I felt like there had to be some kind of explanation as to how he cracked so quickly in "Sacrifice of Angels" and went so far downhill from there, some sort of way he'd already be predisposed to that sort of thing. Given that he's in power in the canon universe, it would've been a lot more tightly controlled than in the Catacombs of Oralius universe--but I still envision it as waiting in the wings, and perhaps affecting him in subtler ways. (Which does not excuse his actions: as far as I'm concerned he was still clearheaded enough, pre-"Sacrifice of Angels," to make rational decisions yet he failed to do so.) Oddly enough, because THIS Dukat has had to face his madness in a much more direct manner, he seems to be more determined to oppose it outright. Strangely enough...in weakness he becomes strong.
     
  14. Gibraltar

    Gibraltar Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Wow, truly impressive writing! The backstory of the Bajoran jihad was fascinating, but paled in comparison to the suffering of Dukat and Ziyal. A very tragic, yet very touching story. :)
     
  15. Nerys Ghemor

    Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Thank you very much for reading. :)

    I would not say it's all tragedy. At least from a religious view, there is more to survival than that of the body...
     
  16. BrotherBenny

    BrotherBenny Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    In actual fact, if you listen to what Riker says, he says that the Bajorans became ever more aggressive after they overcame the Cardassians. I speculate in that universe, instead of the Provivional government invited the Federation in, they took matters into their own hands and protected their own borders religiously, so to speak.
     
  17. Nerys Ghemor

    Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    The phrase I remember hearing when I actually watched the episode was "overpowered the Cardassians," which to my way of thinking could mean any number of things--to include both of our possibilities. The original script says "overthrew the Cardassian Empire." (Given that I don't own the DVDs, I can't go back to see which of these two was actually said, though I am pretty sure on the former. I have caught differences between the written scripts and actual lines before, so it could be either.) I personally think either way it was said fits both scenarios: either overthrowing their version of the Occupation, or the sort of aggressive jihad I described. Either one could be quite the ego booster for a world that's just getting started trying to establish itself as a galactic power to be feared.

    But to me, two things suggested that the differences ran long and deep--much more so than simply overthrowing the Occupation: the presence of the Cardassian helmsman, and the strength and design of the Bajoran warship. On the warship: developing such a thing takes significant time and resources that an Occupation-stripped Bajor wouldn't have had. And from the reaction of the Enterprise crew, I'd say that wasn't their only one given that in order to be a credible threat, the Bajorans must have far more than one. There would've been more evidence, of course, if we'd seen what would've happened had the Enterprise had to face the Bajorans alone--but 285,000 Enterprises might even have made the Borg tuck tail and run! :rommie:

    Also, to me, the presence of that Cardassian helmsman suggested that the differences ran long and deep--long enough for this guy to leave the Union, become acclimated to Federation culture, be accepted by Starfleet Academy as being in earnest and not a threat, go through the curriculum, and receive his commission. To me, his presence and acceptance pointed to even greater differences...I felt he was being used as his universe's version of Ensigns Ro and Sito. From here I go into total conjecture...I thought the parallel ( ;) )might even extend into backstory--that perhaps he fled an occupied Cardassia. That blatant a reversal called for some sort of explanation...which is where the idea came in of putting the Pah-Wraiths up against a version of Cardassia where the faith never collapsed.

    (As to why the Bajorans decided to rumble with the Enterprise in my scenario, I would have pointed to two things: the Federation likely protested the persecution and sentients rights violations they perpetrated against the Cardassians, and the Federation would also represent a secular threat in their eyes, and therefore under the direction of the Pah-Wraiths, need to be opposed.)

    But in the end...how about this: 285,000 universes we know of...one could easily have gone your way, and one went mine. ;)
     
  18. BrotherBenny

    BrotherBenny Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    I concede the point.
     
  19. trampledamage

    trampledamage Clone Moderator

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    Amazing story. Your depiction of the survival of faith against all odds is very moving.

    I also have always felt that the character of Dukat had many possibilities never even guessed at in the TV series. The Dukat you've created here could easily be part of that Dukat, it certainly seemed real to me that being the oppressed rather than the oppressor would produce in him a strength and a faith that he's never needed in the canon universe.
     
  20. Nerys Ghemor

    Nerys Ghemor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Or, if you see it my way, a strength and faith that he desperately needed yet chose against.

    And thank you very much for reading...I'm glad it came across as credible.

    The basic idea of Dukat being different in a universe where he wasn't on top was also explored in the Myriad Universes anthology--but I thought in that story there wasn't really a lot of explanation as to how that came to be, what made that other Dukat tick. Creating a universe and being able to really explore the character and come up with a context where that would be believable was something I really enjoyed doing.

    Oddly enough, even though I killed him, I feel at rest about it, much more so than I do about most characters dying.

    Then again, maybe it's because I remember what that's like. (The most unbelievably realistic dream of such that one could possibly imagine, that is...real enough to make me ask a LOT of questions.)