Picture a large black bird, like a huge, black eagle or something, maybe a really big hawk. It's soaring in the sky, ripping past snow-covered, lofty peaks. You can see he has these badass claws, jet to match his feathers. He soars and wheels, changing direction, casting a majestic shadow over the peaks and valleys. This bird is like awesome personified, viewing the earth and those of us chained to it from a perspective we can never really imagine. JaMarcus Russell is exactly like this bird, in one very specific way. This bird does not give a flying fuck about football. Neither does JaMarcus. Shine on, you fat, lazy bastard.