Jabba the Hut

Discussion in 'Science Fiction & Fantasy' started by Captain McBain, Jul 7, 2013.

  1. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    He doesn't look like his species is capable of having upper body strength focussed on those tiny little arms, but a stern regime of Kegels could do wonders for other parts of his body.
     
  2. Fruitcake

    Fruitcake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    So you think he's one big..?
     
  3. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Actually I'm wondering if he's a worm? Although those massive eyes would be useless underground, which means possibly his natural environment is aquatic? Unless he comes from a planet with a much, much lower gravity and bounce like tiggers?

    Although is he's supposed to be an under water monster, surely someone would have been spritzing him?

    Although no one spritzed Jarjar.

    Just to note, worms are all hermaphrodites.

    So he's only has half the pussy you thought I said he has.
     
  4. JarodRussell

    JarodRussell Vice Admiral Admiral

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    A skinny woman was able to choke him to death with a chain and her weight. Chewbacca would probably have been able to kill him with his bare hands.
     
  5. Ar-Pharazon

    Ar-Pharazon Vice Admiral Premium Member

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    ^ Chewbacca would have to shave his hands to be able to kill anything bare-handed.
     
  6. Turtletrekker

    Turtletrekker Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Bear-handed?
     
  7. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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  8. Fruitcake

    Fruitcake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    My theory is that he has very important blood vessels on the surface of his skin and that is how he died under such pressure. These blood vessels can't be buried within him because the fat would crush them.
     
  9. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Or she subconsciously used the force. Vader's daughter... With training Leia should be able to juggle elephants. Without training, now and then, she can choke a bitch she shouldn't have the strength to realistically choke.

    Jabba was role playing a fetish and wasn't actually dead.

    If the Hutt are more like worms than lizards, then they have no skeletons. And if they're more like slugs than worms, then Leia should have been able to cut Jaba in half with that chain.

    If a Hutts genitals are in their neck, I imagine that the bulk of their neck is a scrotal collar just under the dermal surface, and a penis pops out of thier mouth like a second tounge, or that erection set of teeth that potrude from the xenomorphs from Aliens.
     
  10. Fruitcake

    Fruitcake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    What I don't get about the FORCE if it's so super wonderful you can lift space ships with it why don't they just use the force to stop a person's heart? Is there something woowoo about the heart, that it is the life pump and the force cannot prevail against it? Vader can choke people, for the theater of it. But if he didn't need theater could he just squeeze their heart with the force and BOOM heart attack? That way you don't even have to work against the LIFE PUMP, you just squish it a little and biology freaks out and the person dies.
     
  11. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Theatre and pageantry.

    Remember when O'Niel tried to sell machine guns to Jaffar rebels?

    "This is a TOY!" Puts down the staff weapon, picks up a machine gun "And this is how you kill someone."

    (Carter shooting at the swinging log, remember?)

    The religion of the Jedi, is how the state makes sure that they have humble servants rather than psychopaths intent on being loved proportionately to their power to destroy.

    Imagine if God wasn't made up.

    How would you regulate the priesthood to make sure they didn't use God to clean up in Vegas?
     
  12. Fruitcake

    Fruitcake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    I'd replace the letter 'm' with an 'h' in all the references to smiting in the holy books. The entire religion would turn into a meme that consumed itself.
     
  13. Captain McBain

    Captain McBain Captain Captain

    They have whatever weapons they were shown with at the beginning of "Return of the Jedi." So, Chewbacca has none. I'm not sure what Boba had.

    God wasn't 'made up.' There are very good reasons to believe that He exists. But let's not turn this thread into a religious battle.
     
  14. Fruitcake

    Fruitcake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    I will shite on you Captain McBain!! I will shite you into the brown sea!!!!

    Also Chewie and Boba are not Jedi, but I forgive you for that trespass.
     
  15. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Boba has a rocket pack.

    He should have been able to "jump" out of the Sarlacc.
     
  16. Fruitcake

    Fruitcake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    In the books (which are on some kind of canon grid..) he escapes the Sarlaac thanks to his Mandalorian armor.
     
  17. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Say the whole thing.

    They don't know that you're a nerd unless you say the whole thing.

    "Mandalorian Supercommando Armour".
     
  18. Fruitcake

    Fruitcake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    But I want the other girls to like me.
     
  19. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Lesbians love Sandman comics.
     
  20. Pingfah

    Pingfah Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Even if Data were strong enough to lift him, it would be very hard to get the leverage to pick him up without toppling over. He would need time to prepare.