How would a Dalek play Cricket?

Discussion in 'Doctor Who' started by Guy Gardener, Apr 14, 2014.

  1. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Imagine if the Dalek Empire was so "afraid" of losing again to the 5th Doctor, that they offered a wager on the result of a 5 day cricket match... The winner of which would take the contested planet they're "fighting" over.

    :)
     
  2. The Wormhole

    The Wormhole Admiral Admiral

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    Cricket Dalek - a Dalek with a Cricket bat attached instead of the traditional plunger.
     
  3. Sindatur

    Sindatur Vice Admiral Admiral

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    But, they'd probably find the plunger useful for catching (Or isn't there any catching in Cricket?)
     
  4. The Wormhole

    The Wormhole Admiral Admiral

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    Well, I can't imagine a Dalek parting with its gun, even one playing cricket. Plungers are already optional, Parting of the Ways featured one with a claw instead of a plunger. Therefore, the plunger seems more likely to go in favor of the bat.
     
  5. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    I'm imagining some sort of pulley system to allow the the bat to exact the correct sweeping action.

    Also, the Daleks might e allowed to chose substitutes?

    Ogrons or Robomen?

    If the Daleks played without their travel system, the pitch might be submerged in 3 feet of pond water.

    If they did play in their travel system... Would the Daleks be allowed to fly?
     
  6. Alidar Jarok

    Alidar Jarok Everything in moderation but moderation Moderator

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    Well, presumably you'd change it out. The plunger for fielding, the bat for hitting.
     
  7. Sindatur

    Sindatur Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Ahhhhhhhhhhh [/Four]
     
  8. MacLeod

    MacLeod Admiral Admiral

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    Dalek's wouldn't play cricket due to being concieved by an inferior race, but hypothetically if they did play wouldn't they just exterminate the opposition. Unless the opposing team used cricket balls filled with Nitro-9.
     
  9. Melakon

    Melakon Admiral Admiral

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    They'd play very badly, I imagine.
     
  10. Rarewolf

    Rarewolf Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Well the modern era Gold Daleks can at least swing their midsection. They'd be better at Cricket than Rugby.
     
  11. diankra

    diankra Commodore Commodore

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    Daleks would be very good at fielding, due to those extendible plungers with gravity manipulators built on, but out first ball when batting - skirt before wicket.
     
  12. Roddenberry

    Roddenberry Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    I'm sure when The Doctor tries to explain the Duckworth-Lewis Method the Daleks will get caught in some sort of error sub-routine forever.
     
  13. Dr. Horrible

    Dr. Horrible Admiral Admiral

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    No chance of the bowler hitting the wicket at all. The Fat Bastards. I mean the Daleks of course.

    Not convinced they would be good at fielding either. The Fat Bastards.

    I assume this is a Humans versus Dalek match of course. If it's Dalek versus Dalek, I believe both would exterminate each other after the first ball is bowled.

    :evil:
     
  14. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    How do you now that Daleks didn't invent cricket and taught it to he English?

    Their body armour has 40 cricket balls attached to it.
     
  15. MacLeod

    MacLeod Admiral Admiral

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    ^My answer would be,

    Humans are not Dalek's and therfore an inferior lifeform and as such they need to be exterminated. Not taught how to play a game that the Kaleds used to play. :p
     
  16. Mark_Nguyen

    Mark_Nguyen Commodore Commodore

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    A Dalek doesn't play cricket. A Dalek exterminates the entire cricket stadium and moves on.

    Mark
     
  17. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    I don't know if Daleks would play cricket, but they'd make excellent baseball umpires.
     
  18. The Wormhole

    The Wormhole Admiral Admiral

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    ^^"Strike three, you are out!" Dalek shoots batter.
     
  19. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    ^ Although they would make terrible players. They move so slowly that they'd be VERY easy to tag out. And good luck to a Dalek trying to steal second base.

    A Dalek might make a good catcher, though. No one would dare try to run into one while trying to cross home plate.

    Another unfortunate side effect, though: On an all-Dalek team, the inevitable bench-clearing brawl (or the clearing of whatever Daleks use for benches) would be the most boring thing imaginable, as they would slowly scoot out to the mound - Daleks don't charge - and keep bumping into one another. Daleks can't even fight without shooting, for crying out loud. So a bunch of giant salt shakers trying to stare each other down would provoke hysterical laughter from the crowd. Whom the Daleks would then shoot.

    A Dalek could try its plunger at being a manager, though it would find that trying to kick dirt on the umpire would be exceedingly difficult without legs.
     
  20. Marsden

    Marsden Commodore Commodore

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    I think Heavy Weapons Dalek would be the Bowler.

    I think the Wicket would be exterminated in one pitch.