How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Ethros, Apr 5, 2013.

  1. Gaith

    Gaith Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Beat me to it! :rommie:


    ... And on the serious side, I second the question of whether you've got any friends that may be able to help out. Also, I don't know how large a town you live in, but maybe AirBnB could help? Friendly people, rather cheaper than most hotels... If you were straightforward about your intentions to prospective hosts, you might find a sympathetic soul - a single woman with a flat to herself, for instance - who could trust you two to have the run of her place while she goes out and sees a movie or something. Might still cost you a bit, but would probably be a lot cozier/less sketchy-feeling than a cheap motel.

    In short, possibilities abound for the enterprising Trekker. Get creative! No guts, no glory. :bolian:
     
  2. Australis

    Australis Writer Admiral

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    MadBaggins? That you?
     
  3. DonIago

    DonIago Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I thought the same thing, but the initial post didn't read enough like an awful B-movie.
     
  4. Kestra

    Kestra Admiral Premium Member

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    Jul 6, 2005
    Just wanted to say don't do it in your car. You think you're in a totally isolated place and then a cop knocks on the window and it's a massive scramble to get clothes on. So I've heard.
     
  5. Stardate

    Stardate Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Yeah not good
     
  6. DonIago

    DonIago Vice Admiral Admiral

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    It's only not good if she agrees.
     
  7. SeerSGB

    SeerSGB Admiral Admiral

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    RIP Leonard Nimoy
    - Not good if she [Mother] agrees
    - Worse if Mother agrees and the girlfriend gets really excited and turned on by the ideal.
     
  8. Gaith

    Gaith Vice Admiral Admiral

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    San Francisco, CA
    [RIGHT].
    [/RIGHT]



    THIS THREAD REQUIRES COURSE CORRECTION




    [​IMG]



    > BACK TO TOPIC
     
  9. DonIago

    DonIago Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Aww puppies!!!
     
  10. scotpens

    scotpens Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Plus, there's the escaped killer with the hook. ;)
     
  11. Peach Wookiee

    Peach Wookiee Cuddly Mod of Doom Moderator

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    You couldn't do it in a tent in the backyard?
     
  12. Gaith

    Gaith Vice Admiral Admiral

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    ^ Pitching a tent in a tent? Not very subtle...
     
  13. Ríu ríu chíu

    Ríu ríu chíu Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Awwww... :adore: :lol:
     
  14. Peach Wookiee

    Peach Wookiee Cuddly Mod of Doom Moderator

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    :lol:
     
  15. Lt. Cheka Wey

    Lt. Cheka Wey Commander

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    Mar 14, 2013
    Don't you a have a cool uncle or a brother?
     
  16. Avon

    Avon Commodore Commodore

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    Avon
    i think the 'play loud music' advice would work. i suggest:

    [yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fe_jReMm-R4[/yt]
     
  17. Captain Kathryn

    Captain Kathryn Commodore Commodore

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    Go camping?
     
  18. Mike Farley

    Mike Farley Commodore Commodore

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    Lost Vegas
    Underground Sex club?
     
  19. Jimi_James

    Jimi_James Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Gettin' Lucky in Kentucky
    Well played sir. Well played.


    I suggest you tell your mother you saw rats...multiple rats or some other type of pest and that upon taking the initiative, you called an exterminator only to find out the problem is so serious that you'll have to evacuate your home for at least 24 hours (possibly longer, if you're feeling up to it) while the pests are removed. Mention something about deadly chemicals that could render you dead if inhaled.

    Have your mother rent a hotel room and tell her you'll be staying over at a friends house. Once your mother has left and thinks you've left as well, invite your girlfriend over and proceed to have coitus. And since your mother will be gone for some time, feel free to engage in coitus multiple times.
     
  20. Rhaven

    Rhaven Captain Captain

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    Rhaven in Boston
    Puppies!