How do I have sex with my girlfriend?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Ethros, Apr 5, 2013.

  1. Ethros

    Ethros Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Ok first of, don't take the title of this thread too literally :D

    Also I hope this isn't too graphic or anything, if so mods let me know.



    So basically I've been seeing this girl for just over 2 months. Now the problem is it's hard to find places/moments to be "intimate" especially as we both live with our parents still.

    My house is pretty small, and my mum only works a few hours a day in the morning and spends most of the time at home, so very rarely do I have a free house for very long, especially at night.
    Similar problems exist at her house as she has 3 younger brothers, mum and step-dad and again like me her house is rarely empty.

    So the other option is cars. But this is the UK, and maybe unlike the US not everyone has massive vehicles. Her car is pretty small and almost impossible to do much more than make out in. Mine is a little bit bigger but it's certainly not the most comfortable place to be when trying to have full sex.
    Also, this winter here has certainly not been warm! The thing is with being in a car, 10-20 minutes after you've parked up its starts getting pretty cold, which doesn't really help the situation. Even now in April, last night it was freeeeezing.


    So I just wondered if anyone's been in a similar position with a partner? Hotel rooms are an option, and we've done that once or twice, but it's hardly a feasible recurring option given the prices. It's just getting pretty lame and I'm a bit worried she might get fed up and go find "solace" elsewhere.
    What else can I really do? Thanks
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2013
  2. Pingfah

    Pingfah Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Erm, the "other story" is the only story i'd be interested in if I were you...
     
  3. Ethros

    Ethros Vice Admiral Admiral

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    ^I edited that part out, it's irrelevant really. If it ends it ends, but even with another girl this same problem could come up, so was more curious if anyone else had been in this situation.
     
  4. Sam_I_Am

    Sam_I_Am Captain Captain

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    How old are you? If you're old enough to have her stay over, why not just do that and keep it quiet?
     
  5. Ethros

    Ethros Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Oh yeah we're old enough. Its just as I say mine, actually both our house are pretty small. Both our bedrooms in each others houses are like right next to the parents rooms, and the walls aren't super thick. So I couldn't really be "banging away" with her all night so to speak, it'd be somewhat awkward.

    I do realise "move out" is an option, but it's not just as easy as that is it.
     
  6. Rhaven

    Rhaven Captain Captain

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    SMH
    :confused:

    If you need us to tell you to get an apartment, well then I don't know what you're thinking.

    Is this a late April's Fool joke btw?
     
  7. The Mirrorball Man

    The Mirrorball Man Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I think that if you'd tell your mom that from time to time, she needs to leave the apartment so that you can fuck your girlfriend's brains out, she will be kind and understanding. Or if that sounds like it may be awkward, get an apartment.
     
  8. Pingfah

    Pingfah Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Easy solution then, dump her and find a girl with her own place.
     
  9. Locutus of Bored

    Locutus of Bored The Norf Remembers Moderator

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    First, find a paper clip, a broomstick, and a roll of toilet paper.

    Open the paper clip and use the pointed end to depress the button on your stereo. Repeat as necessary until your find the proper mood music. Set it to cover any embarrassing squeaking noises from the bedsprings.

    Use the broomstick to mark off a minimum safe distance to maintain away from your parent's bedroom wall and any other walls. Move the bed to that point in the middle of the room.

    Take the roll of toilet paper and put it behind your head as an extra barrier above a pillow to prevent banging your or her head into the headboard.

    Problem solved.

    [​IMG]
     
  10. bbailey861

    bbailey861 Admiral Premium Member

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    Obviously, we are no longer hearing the entire story. If you can say "if it ends, it ends", then you really don't give a crap if this continues or not and all you want to do is get your rocks off. No issue there, that's fine, too. Just keep getting a hotel room and if you really don't want to spend that kind of money then get another girlfriend.
     
  11. Sam_I_Am

    Sam_I_Am Captain Captain

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    Find a field. Or go to a festival and take your tent. Both of these work a treat.
     
    Last edited: Apr 5, 2013
  12. Ethros

    Ethros Vice Admiral Admiral

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    No, I do give a crap, I really do. What I edited out was just that I have little suspicions she may be seeing someone else/maybe cheating on me. And I just paranoidly wondered if it was because this situation.
    All I mean is by its irrelevant, is that if she is or isn't doing that, we're still in the same boat.
     
  13. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Isn't it spring there? Start planning now for outdoors romps! Get seriously interested in camping, buy the equipment and go for it.
     
  14. Pingfah

    Pingfah Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    I'm not sure what you advice you are really expecting here Ethros, besides "find somewhere else to do it".

    Do you think people will tell you about some amazing place which is comfy, warm, spacious, private, free and within distance of you?
     
  15. JoeZhang

    JoeZhang Vice Admiral Admiral

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    It is spring and it is currently 5 (c)/48 (f).


    Maybe the OP could check out some dogging sites? Good way to make new friends as well.
     
  16. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Churches. At night.

    That's the sort of temperature they report on the news here as record winter lows.
     
  17. Ethros

    Ethros Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Ha, no not really tbh buddy. Guess I just wanted to vent really, wondered if anyone had been in the same posistion and what they did.
     
  18. Pingfah

    Pingfah Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    I have been in such a situation. I just brought her home anyway. My mum brought me a cup of tea in the morning and found us, it was very awkward for a few hours, she got over it.
     
  19. BillJ

    BillJ Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    When me and my wife were dating we use to have sex right on the other side of the wall from her Mom. Her Mom was never any wiser as to what we were doing.

    Just try to keep the ruckus down. :techman:
     
  20. Deckerd

    Deckerd Fleet Arse Premium Member

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    Damn I thought this was going to be a thread about advice on how to play hide the sausage.