Help with my pissing cat!!

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by sbk1234, Mar 2, 2013.

  1. Gaith

    Gaith Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I'm now getting visions of an awesome action movie in which a solar plasma storm, or something, turns all household cats into beasts the size of cars. Who then decide to eat us, because kibble don't cut it no more.

    The rest is pretty much your standard zombie movie, except with lots and lots of human/mega-feline violence.
     
  2. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    ^ And cheezburger?
     
  3. Gaith

    Gaith Vice Admiral Admiral

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    ^ Please! Take this seriously. :p

    The film will be entitled "Bad Kitties", after the studio rejects "Rotten Pu--ies". The end credits song will of course be "Year of the Cat".
     
  4. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    ^ Just hope it isn't a cat-tastrophe.
     
  5. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Well it's true. If cats were the size of lions they would eat us with alarming regularity, and certain eat small children quite often.
     
  6. Gaith

    Gaith Vice Admiral Admiral

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    You may expect sequels, video games, toys, apps...

    ... Yes. This film shall have a tail.
     
  7. sbk1234

    sbk1234 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    No. I think they'd eat each child only once.
     
  8. Collingwood Nick

    Collingwood Nick Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Do you know if that product would work on dogs as well? My little Maltese has been spreading her urine over my nice carpets and it's driving me to distraction.
     
  9. Sector 7

    Sector 7 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Sector 7's List of Advice:

    - multiple litter boxes, preferably etched with their name on each [remember to print, cats cannot read cursive]
    - terminate with extreme prejudice [I prefer 9mm, .38 caliber is also acceptable]
    - get a mean dog, it will scare the piss out of him [also may have the effect of him pooping whenever he sees the dog]
    - use a Tazer when you catch him doing it [I guarantee he'll never piss there again. This also may work on the children.]
    - next time get a puppy and train him right

    Can you tell I'm not a cat person? The guy who wrote, "Cats are people, too" LIED.:devil::guffaw:
     
  10. Gul Re'jal

    Gul Re'jal Commodore Commodore

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    There is a brand (don't remember the name now) that has separate products for cat and dog urine. You could check at your local pet shop, they should have something for doggies too.

    Oh, found it:
    http://www.scoutshouse.com/store/images/Urine-Off.jpg
     
  11. sbk1234

    sbk1234 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Thanks for that. We just assembled the new litter box cabinet. Have to go buy a new try tomorrow to fit inside. Does Bitter Apple work on cats?
    Sector7, it may be interesting to know that I was never a cat person before I got married. When we were engaged, my wife wanted a cat. I didn't want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat.
     
  12. E-DUB

    E-DUB Captain Captain

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    If you have any pictures of the cat, make posters and put them around the neighborhood. Maybe someone will call you with info. What? You said pissing cat? Never mind.
     
  13. Sector 7

    Sector 7 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    So it really is true: "Marriage turns normally intelligent people into idiots"? It must be true, my ex-fiancee was always saying, "You idiot!" to me. :rofl:
     
  14. sbk1234

    sbk1234 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    You're assuming I was intelligent to begin with!
     
  15. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    And now you have three.

    Your wife has powerful cat voodoo!
     
  16. Kestra

    Kestra Vice Admiral Premium Member

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    I didn't want a cat but after years I finally agreed to one. When I went to the divorce lawyer, the question at the top of my list was "What can I do to keep the cat?" I mean it was seriously the first question on the piece of paper I brought with me. He's my baby now. I'm totally a crazy cat lady.

    Also anyone saying shitty things about cats needs to stop. :klingon:
     
  17. Sector 7

    Sector 7 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I love your sense of humor, dude! You have me :guffaw::guffaw::guffaw:!
     
  18. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Does this include any talk about litterboxes? Because that is, quite literally, a shitty thing about cats.
     
  19. sbk1234

    sbk1234 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Bitter Apple work with cats?
     
  20. _C_

    _C_ Commander Red Shirt

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    :eek:

    :guffaw::lol::guffaw::lol::bolian: