Hamlet + Sleeze + Trash = The Royals.

Discussion in 'TV & Media' started by Guy Gardener, May 11, 2015.

  1. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    The Royals (2015)







    Revenge is gone, and something filthy has to fill the vacuum.

    I'm 9 episodes in and there's blood in the water. :)

    The story starts (on a parallel Earth, very similar to our own) with the modern day King of England being very alive, and his son the Prince meeting a charming American girl named Ophelia. Then there's several 90210-like episodes where the younger cast go mental on sex and drugs, while the evil Joan Collin'sesque King's brother does a lot of gay stuff... Oh, and Joan Collins does show up playing the Queen Mother, a far bigger bitch than Ripley's Xenomorph, god bless her cotton socks.

    It's rot, made for idiots, with some explosive moments for the gullible and easily pleased, but we all feel like indulging ourselves with soapy drivel now and then.

    So, who here is uncultured enough to admit that they are watching?
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2016
  2. Greg Cox

    Greg Cox Admiral Premium Member

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    I'm still watching . . .
     
  3. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Season 3 started yesterday.

    "I thought I smelled you, the Queen's personal bouquet of Spite and vagina."

    Season two saw the king die finally, and then haunt several people, to discover his murderer, although it could have just been something in the water plus inbreeding, more so than a true engagement with the supernatural.

    The writers still have a little bit of Hamlet's plot to play with, since "most" of the cast are still breathing. I need to see someone scream "A hit! A hit! A palpable hit!" while Prince Liam unloads a clip into whoever is the stand in for Laertes.

    Such fun!

    (I really do miss Revenge.)
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2016
  4. Greg Cox

    Greg Cox Admiral Premium Member

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    You know, I was wondering if there was going to be a Season Three.

    Thanks for the alert!
     
  5. Commander Richard

    Commander Richard A Trump Brand Premium Member

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    Season 1 was fun. Then season 2 got too farfetched. Waiting for season 3 to be done so I can binge watch.
     
  6. Greg Cox

    Greg Cox Admiral Premium Member

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    Set the DVR to catch a rerun of the Season 3 premiere.

    Although I admit my memory is a bit fuzzy on how Season 2 wrapped up. Hopefully there'll be a good "Previously on . .." to refresh my memory.

    EDIT: Okay, I watched the premiere. Fun so far, although I confess that I'm losing track of all the women in Liam's life. Who was the brunette with the sugary cereal addiction? Who was the blonde bartender who patched him after fight club?
     
    Last edited: Dec 6, 2016
  7. tenmei

    tenmei Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    I thought the bartender may have been Dominique Stuart - but am not too sure now (she's the daughter of the guy who was blackmailing Cyrus, Helena and the Duchess of Oxford [who is not the Queen Mother, merely the Queen's mother (and incidentally is said to have only gained a title because Helena aquired it for her) - we met the Queen Mother in the Season 1 finale]) and the brunette girl is Wilhelmina, who we met last year in the birthday party at the palace and who had the chemistry with Liam.
     
  8. Greg Cox

    Greg Cox Admiral Premium Member

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    Thanks!

    I thought the best part of the premiere was the mix-up with the new Lord Chamberlain.

    "RACHEL!"
     
  9. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Huge Grant! :D

    Unless it was Liz's idea, they would have had to have approached her very carefully about that, maybe?
     
  10. Greg Cox

    Greg Cox Admiral Premium Member

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    Oh, god, I completely forgot about that!
     
  11. tenmei

    tenmei Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    In Episode 2 we find out she's called Catherine and she was Robert's girlfriend - basically if Liam/Eleanor are our Prince Harry and Robert our Prince William, then Catherine is our Kate Middleton.
     
  12. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    She has the mating habits of Queen Gertrude.
     
  13. tenmei

    tenmei Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Robert is back - and we eventually meet Cyrus' ex-wife, Veronica, the Duchess of Essex, who is fabulous. Hopefully she'll be the perfect foil for Helena that they wanted and failed to make Rani, the Deputy Prime Minister, to be last season.
     
  14. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Sirus' reply to the peaceful transition of power made me chuckle.

    Snogging your own double, is a clever way to get around impotence, by tricking your body into thinking that you're just masturbating... "I assure you "me", it's just me, I'm exempt from what ever sex psychosis you're weighing on me, so stand up to attention immediately!"
     
  15. tenmei

    tenmei Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    I thought it was more that he'd become incapable of doing it without being in love - but as the Duchess pointed out, the only person he'd ever truly been in love with was himself. And Chad (?) was as close as he was going to get to that.
     
  16. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    I just have a dirty mind.

    Sorry.

    :)
     
  17. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Robert looks like an Auton (from Doctor Who) which is not anything more than traditionally handsome, but somehow he makes Liam look like a skeevy, weedy, sneaky, little turd.

    Of course I cannot respect Liam at all, for not owning up to being into that little blonde barmaid, which casts him as a villain, afterwhich only a monster would think that his childish behaviour made this prince at all worthy for any woman with more than an ounce of self-respect.
     
  18. tenmei

    tenmei Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    I wonder if Robert will become King - and then abdicate, and we'll end up with Robert, Duke of Henstridge, or some such, with Liam as King. There's only so much more drama they can mine from trying to gain the throne and then Cyrus retaining it. But if Robert became King and abdicated, then Liam would become King, it would lead to more threads with Cyrus trying to push through a regency in the way that they moved towards during Simon's coma in Season 1.
     
  19. Greg Cox

    Greg Cox Admiral Premium Member

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    My DVR clipped off the last few minutes of this week's episode. Anything momentous happen once they stepped out onto the balcony?

    And, jeez, when did Beck become such an asshole? Forget apologizing to Eleanor; she should have insisted that he apologize to Jasper.
     
  20. USS Triumphant

    USS Triumphant Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    I haven't seen any of this, but honestly from what little I know of the history of the shows Shakespeare put on while he was alive, Hamlet + Trash + Sleeze is probably really just Hamlet. Just the version they did for the rabble who came to the shows for commoners, not the more cultured version done for the nobility. ;)