G.I. Joe: Retaliation - Grading & Discussion

Discussion in 'Science Fiction & Fantasy' started by Agent Richard07, Mar 27, 2013.

?

Grade the movie...

  1. A+

    7.1%
  2. A

    7.1%
  3. A-

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  4. B+

    14.3%
  5. B

    14.3%
  6. B-

    14.3%
  7. C+

    7.1%
  8. C

    14.3%
  9. C-

    7.1%
  10. D+

    7.1%
  11. D

    7.1%
  12. D-

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  13. F

    0 vote(s)
    0.0%
  1. od0_ital

    od0_ital Admiral Admiral

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    So, its probably just a coincidence that there are two long ass scenes that feature just Channing Tatum & the Rock, one of which has no one else from the cast, the other with just two small children?

    Meh...reshoots or not, I still don't think this movie needed to be in 3D.

    Except for that ninja fight in the mountains.
     
  2. inflatabledalek

    inflatabledalek Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    If I were a betting man, regardless of behind the scenes claims, I'd say the reshoots were the fairly cheap to realise (a fence, four speaking roles and some sheds) pre-credits sequence in North Korea that had nothing to do with the rest of the film and was immediately followed by what felt like another pre-credits sequence with the bomb raid.


    The only real thing that suggests it might have always been there and wasn't just added to put that bit more Tatum in is it fits in surprisingly well with the rest of the movie's attempts to homage Die Another Day as much as possible (the rescue the hostage by shooting them bit being the most subtle).

    Other than that, a good fun film that suffered (possibly because of bits being cut out to keep the running time the same after the new scenes) from characters popping up out of nowhere with very little explanation. Or indeed, as with the case of most of Joe's OAP friends, not to be seen again with very little explanation.

    Highlights included Firefly- I didn't know he was going to be in the movie and not only was he well done (thankfully in a film that took a lot from the comics most of his Hama created backstory- of the "Oh yeah, he's also a ninja who was involved in the death of the Hard Master like it turns out everyone else in the book happens to be and he can also move his head so fast you can't photograph him" variety- was ignored) but I liked the misdirection over who it might be with the introduction that made it look like we might be getting another Dreadnok. Or I suppose the first as Movie Zartan seems to not even like bikes.

    It was also really cool how the Mummy came back in what was effectively a non-speaking cameo as well (though again, one confused flashback scene suggests he might have had more that was cut).

    Willis and the Rock were good solid fun (though the former could basically sleepwalk this and wasn't in as much of the film as his prominence on the posters suggests) but Lady Jaye and Flint were, whilst harmless, completely bland. The later to the point they might as well just have reused Scarlett.


    The real fun is to be had with the villains though. As mentioned, Firefly was fun, and Jonathan Pryce- despite looking somewhat frail- got to have a whale of a time hamming it up brilliantly as effectively the main villain. Cobra Commander was basically wasted but looked fantastic if nothing else. And no attempt to impersonate Chris Latta either, which was nice.

    I liked the Bill Paxon-ish prison warden as well, it was a nice touch that despite being an immense dick he wasn't completely inept when Storm Shadow and Firely performed the jailbreak and actually got a couple of hits in. I wonder if they got Eccles back in to play popsicle Destro :p

    If it has a really big flaw (beyond typical dumb blockbuster things like the President can suddenly announce Cobra as a nice government agency as if no one has heard of them before yet the US have a guy called Cobra Commander in prison and Snake Eyes and Storm Shadow seem to be international celebrities), anyone who doesn't really know their G.I. Joe is going to have the fuck confused out of them.


    Not only in terms of how closely it follows up the first one but in that you really need to have attended the Larry Hama school of Ninja to understand large chunks of what's going on in the Snake Eyes plot.


    The Blind Master is one of the guys who just sort of turns up and I don't think there's even the slightest explanation of where all those Red Ninjas who are so loyal to Storm Shadow came from. And for a film that tried surprisingly hard to follow on from the first it completely ignored his death as well.

    Also, of course, they should have had Duke go into a coma.
     
    Last edited: Mar 30, 2013
  3. OdoWanKenobi

    OdoWanKenobi Admiral Admiral

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    Well, that was a let down.

    I'm one of the few people that actually really liked the first. Yeah, it was goofy and overblown, but that was the point. It knew what it was, and sent us on a fun and silly ride. This one just forgets about that, and tries to play it mostly straight. In the process, they forget to bring the fun. This is G.I. Joe, dammit. Plant your tongue firmly in your cheek and let the goofy stuff fly! You have ninjas, bad-ass soliders, tanks, hovercrafts, a bike that turns in rockets, a master of disguise, a guy with explosive bugs, giant space nail droppers that completely destroy London, and an insane megalomaniacal guy behind a shiny helmet. How does all of this off the wall crazy stuff, that should equal loads of nutty fun, lead to a movie that feels so subdued?
     
  4. Agent Richard07

    Agent Richard07 Admiral Admiral

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    We got two major motion pictures based on a toy line. I don't know how much more it could be. And they did try a different approach with the second movie, part of which involved bringing in some big name actors. It's clear that they were trying to revitalize the series.

    I liked what they did with Retaliation. It felt like G.I. Joe brought to life. I don't think I'd want to see a G.I. Joe movie that I'd describe as silly, goofy or nutty. That's how I'd describe Spaceballs.
     
  5. OdoWanKenobi

    OdoWanKenobi Admiral Admiral

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    I'm not saying it should have been loaded with stupid jokes, but everything just felt so bland to me. There was no fun. There was no wink and a nudge that, hey, maybe this isn't the most serious or plausible of concepts.
     
  6. Biffette

    Biffette Captain Captain

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    Mar 3, 2005
    IMO, this movie was more like the Hama comics while the first movie was more like the Sunbow cartoons. I never cared for the comics.
     
  7. Admiral2

    Admiral2 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    You're right about this movie being more like the comics, but I totally disagree with your sentiment. I think Paramount should have gone to Larry Hama and let him write both movies. The comics were fantastic. Instead of taking the toys and turning them into silliness like the cartoon and first movie, he took the toys and used them to write engaging stories with realistic combat scenes, actual mortal losses and common sense.

    As for Retaliation:

    -I still have some of the same gripes I had with the first movie, even though I liked this one better. The only vehicle I liked was the one Snake-Eyes and Jinx drove up the mountain, because it was the only one that half looked like something from ARAH (The A.W.E. Striker). Everything else, including the HISS tanks, just looked like "Let's throw shit together and make it look cool."

    -Firefly is a saboteur and a demolitions expert. He's not a microrobotics expert, and he sure as hell ain't Batman. The mechanical fireflies and the explodoballs and the explodobike were asinine.

    -I miss having the Baroness in it. She was the only thing I liked from the first movie. :(

    -The Rock did better as Roadblock than I expected. Of course, his trademark M2 50 cal. got downgraded to a thirty, but it was still impressive.

    -Everybody in America should have a house like General Colton's. Anti-gun activists be damned...

    -At the awards ceremony, "Captain Jaye Burnett" was wearing an Army dress uniform...with a Marine Corps lapel pin. If you don't want it to be totally realistic, fine, but how 'bout a little basic research to get the frigging costumes right?

    (sigh) Maybe they'll let Larry Hama write the next one...
     
  8. Biffette

    Biffette Captain Captain

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    Hasbro already owns all the stories he wrote for the comics; they can adapt those. I hope that the next movie adds a little sci-fi, and is about the discovery of COBRA-LA.

    Does anyone else think that Zarana will show up in the next movie?
     
  9. DarKush

    DarKush Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Nov 18, 2005
    I saw it earlier today. I liked it. I thought it was better than the first film. I liked the tone of Retaliation more than the first film. I thought the cast was good for the most part, though RZA was overdoing it a bit as Blind Master and I thought the guy playing Flint was a little too bland. Perhaps they should've made him a bit more rebellious or impulsive and made him Falcon instead. There was like zero chemistry between him and Lady Jaye, which sucks since I grew up watching the old cartoon. I thought Lady Jaye was well played, though the film played up her sexiness a bit too much. I was hoping they would also at least give her a staff or have her do some staff fighting.

    There was a lot of jumping around (figuratively and literally) with this story, but that didn't bother me so much. I also thought it was odd that Lady Jaye would find some pretty nifty computers in a boarded up gym. I also thought it was odd that the JOES could just so easily move around and seemed not to worry too much about their basic needs once Roadblock's friend loaned him his truck. The stereotypical hood scene with Roadblock didn't bother me as much as it probably should, and at least they didn't have Roadblock rhyming all of his lines like in the cartoon, with the exception of the possible homage Jay-Z prayer bit.

    I didn't quite get Joe Colton's chauvinism towards Lady Jaye, though once at the end when it became apparent to me that he was a stand-in for her father, I got that, though I still think it was unnecessary.

    Jonathan Pryce did a solid job as Zartan. I wasn't expecting him to be the highlight on the Cobra side. I liked Cobra Commander's new look. I liked Ray Stevenson as Firefly too, though his weird Southern/Australian (?) accent threw me off. I still wish they had made him Major Bludd instead. I did like the nano-fireflies which underlined his code name.

    I thought Storm Shadow was pretty good in this film and I'm glad they showed that he's not all bad. Though the whole revelation about Zartan killing the Hard Master didn't work for me. Seems like Shadow would've figured that out earlier on and killed Zartan years ago. It felt like a slapdash explanation just so they could have Shadow switch sides.

    I liked the new Snake Eyes suit and I thought Elodie Yung made for a very gorgeous Jinx. I liked most of the ninja action though the mountain scene went on a little too long for me.

    It would've been great to see or at least hear about some of the other JOES from the first film. I don't see why Scarlett couldn't have been used again in light of the non-relationship between Flint and Lady Jaye, though with Ripcord being Duke's best friend, I can see why they didn't bring him back. It would've interfered with the Roadblock and Duke's friendship in terms of giving Roadblock a personal stake in taking Cobra down. The Roadblock-Duke banter was not bad for the most part. I also liked seeing a little of Roadblock's family life, but the lack of mention of a spouse was curious. In the back of my mind I was wondering who was watching the girls while Roadblock was on the run.

    I thought Walton Goggins was an odd choice for the warden, but I must admit that it was cool seeing him show up on the screen. That was totally unexpected. Though I could've easily seen him be Beachhead in a future film.
     
  10. OdoWanKenobi

    OdoWanKenobi Admiral Admiral

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    Did I miss it, or was there no explanation at all for why Storm Shadow was alive?
     
  11. MNM

    MNM Captain Captain

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    May 23, 2007
    Screw rotten tomatoes.

    I enjoyed the film. The Rock was good.

    There was just a couple of things that I didnt care for. No Baroness. They seemed to gloss over the destruction of London a bit, and the film was a little less fast paced than the trailer made it seem.
     
    Last edited: Mar 31, 2013
  12. Corran Horn

    Corran Horn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Is it stated or referenced at all if Ripcord and Scarlett are part of the Joes that die?
     
  13. od0_ital

    od0_ital Admiral Admiral

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    Did ya miss the part where the burns on his back are healed almost instantly?

    Seems to me that if Cobra ninjas have access to that kind of medical care, death could be pretty easily solved, too, if they get to the body in time.
     
  14. Admiral2

    Admiral2 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Or he could write a whole new story like he's doing for IDW's ARAH comics.

    And Cobra-La was a waste of animation cells.
     
  15. Gaith

    Gaith Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Sounds as though, thanks to this weekend's BO, there'll be another of these.


    ... I'm not angry, America. Just disappointed.
     
  16. ThunderAeroI

    ThunderAeroI Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Johnathan Price can do no wrong. Even when he is destroying the world, i still love him.
     
  17. Mr Light

    Mr Light Admiral Admiral

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    I found the drastic shift in tone/realism to be extremely jarring. We went from total comic book fantasy to a rough attempt at realism, but it makes the continuity confusing... where are the super duper mecha suits? Why didn't we see their massive underground base? Was that destroyed by President Zartan?

    I also found it weird the way this was basically a new cast of heroes without any explanation. So were all the other characters supposed to have been killed, then?

    I enjoyed it, and I enjoyed the first one (in a silly way). The best sequence by far was the ninja mountain fight. All the other action scenes were just alright.
     
  18. Misfit Toy

    Misfit Toy Caped Trek Mod Moderator

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    I didn't care for it. I thought the first was enjoyable as a popcorn flick, but this one just left me cold. I think it had the beginnings of some good moments, but there was no follow through. Oh - as a South Carolina resident, I thought their version of Fort Sumter was hilarious!
     
  19. Corran Horn

    Corran Horn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    It seemed loose enough that anybody who wasn't in this would could return. They mentioned some being imprisoned I seem to recall.
     

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