Excelsior Technical Manual - Revived!

Discussion in 'Trek Tech' started by Praetor, Mar 23, 2009.

  1. Praetor

    Praetor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    In a nutshell, both. The idea (so far) is that the engines are basically too powerful for the ship - while they do reach incredible speeds, the idea of a 'jump' drive as initially envisioned proved impossible mostly because the high-level warp fields that the ship was reaching started to 'melt' the structural integrity. So, Starfleet has to redesign a new, conventional warp core (using what they learned to build the first transwarp one as their guide) as well as the gargantuan warp coils you describe, that isn't technically as powerful as the first one, but also not prone to the same 'overpowering' problems.

    Thus, we have the prototypical almost-there model of the TNG warp setup. In my reckonings (and a future chapter), the Ambassador ends up being the 'real' modern engine design and that's why the adaptation of the recalibrated warp scale coincides roughly with its construction and launch.

    So basically the transwarp project technically fails to create a 'jump drive' but ends up successfully creating a newer, faster, better warp drive.

    That... that's supposed to be classified. :shifty: :shifty: :shifty:

    Thank you! :D I shall probably post the next later on today after giving everyone interested a chance to respond to this rather long chapter. Once all the history stuff is outta the way, we can get to the actual nuts and bolts.
     
  2. kitsune

    kitsune Captain

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    engines should be engine or engines'.

    remove superfluous had never.

    of what Captain Scott had done.

    the ship was not equipped with redundant components to mitigate such a failure

    and redundant components were also installed

    mediocre results

    compared to what had been hyped in the media (or by the press)

    still had not passed a Level Four Design Review

    despite being continually reconfigured and reprogrammed

    ship was still being 'broken in'

    A critical systems failure resulted in the Excelsior violently falling out of transwarp.

    I'm confused here, the ship fell out of transwarp but is still accelerating?

    Recoil is motion resulting from firing a projectile, but the core exploded after being ejected, so I suggest re-wording this.

    Since the warp core was lost, I assume the serious damage remaining was to the transwarp coils in the nacelles.

    That seems awfully quick.

    two-hour journey

    in the month following the ship's redeployment

    I think this statement may be redundant.

    Aren't the power systems and transwarp core the same thing? Or do you mean refit/repairs to her power transfer conduits or transwarp coils?

    Cartwright was to ensure the Excelsior

    I'm not sure what that means in this context

    That seems quite odd. The Excelsior is equipped as a heavy cruiser or exploration ship. Changing the purpose of something this late in the game would make it fall far short of its potential.
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2009
  3. Plecostomus

    Plecostomus Commodore

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    Praetor, I am standing by to offer heavy-duty technobabble or ideas if you need them, I'm on MSN and of course can be reached by PM.

    However, do not blame me if my explanations cause you to understand less than you did at the beginning, I cannot be responsible for catastrophic brain failure induced by my technical awesometisity. .
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2009
  4. Praetor

    Praetor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Well, you all are certainly keeping me on my toes. :shifty:

    It's amazing how many times you can read something and not recognize errors and things that just flat don't make sense. Thanks, kitsune, in particular for that in-depth edit. :)

    Let's try this again:
     
  5. Plecostomus

    Plecostomus Commodore

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    Later investigation found that a fragment of the shattered wine-bottle had lodged itself in a space-time synchronicity sensor causing severe system failures. Once this was corrected Transwarp delivered the goods and became the fleetwide standard for FTL drive.

    Years later something simmilar happened to the crew of Voyager, a misplaced champagne cork caused a prototype Quantum Slipstream Drive to nearly destroy the USS Voyager. After this incident christening of new systems and ships with glass bottles full of alcohol was forbidden by Starfleet General Order 271494-J.
     
  6. CuttingEdge100

    CuttingEdge100 Commodore Commodore

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    You know...

    I don't recall it ever mentioned that the Excelsior was meant to achieve infinite speed... From what it seemed in the movie, it appears as if it was just to be a very very very fast warp...
     
  7. kitsune

    kitsune Captain

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    Crap, I had a bunch more corrections for you, but then my browser imploded. And I'm using Firefox too. :/
     
  8. Cid Highwind

    Cid Highwind Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    begin immediately... begin immediately...? I think it might sound better with the first "immediately" removed.

    The speeds and distances here seem to be a little off. The distance between Sol and AC is "just" 4.3 light years, so the second ship should not be "light years behind". Perhaps reword this as:

    "... Lexington, which had been following Excelsior a few light hours behind on a parallel course to monitor her test flight, ..."

    As has been said, tow ships arriving an hour later, and the journey back to earth lasting two hours, seems awfully fast. These ships would probably need some preparation (no need for urgency, Excelsior and crew seem to be "dead in the water", but alright), and might be restricted to low warp speeds. Perhaps make that some days or even a week each? This would also have the nice side effect of being even more embarrassing for Styles! ;)
     
  9. kitsune

    kitsune Captain

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    ^_^

    This is awkward to read.

    ...was even more enthusiastic than the project's sponsors had hoped for

    The public's imagination was once again captivated by...

    1) aren't medals usually given to individuals, not groups?
    2) why not the Cochrane Award for Innovation in Warp Technology?
    3) isn't this award a bit premature? ;)

    ...alerted to prepare for transwarp speed

    I know Mr. Scott used the term transwarp computer drive, but it always sounded awkward to me (after all, it's not like a hard drive). How about transwarp drive computer instead? I think that captures the intent better without deviating too much.


    If the core was ejected at warp, wouldn't it fall out of warp before the ship did (less inertia?), thus putting significant distance between the two before it exploded? (shrug)

    Change her to the ship's unless Styles is a cross-dresser. ;)

    I like proofreading. :)
     
  10. kitsune

    kitsune Captain

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    How about, ...which had been following the Excelsior from a safe distance to observe the test flight...
     
  11. Plecostomus

    Plecostomus Commodore

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    Yes, it crushes the soul. :techman:
     
  12. Praetor

    Praetor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I really do appreciate it everyone, soul-crushing or not.

    And as CuttingEdge100 points out there's nothing really to suggest that they were aiming for infinite velocity - it's just my way to try to have it 'fail' in ultimate goal (by not realizing they can't power it enough, or that the ship can't take the strain) without failing in actual warp technology and thereby lead into the 'TNG style' warp drive. Also, I've always thought that the bad episode that is 'Threshold' ignores the nice idea of having it be a jump drive beyond the literal 'everywhere at once' notion. Just trying to tie together a bunch of lose threads. I think it works, at least.

    Okay, this hopefully addresses most of the issues. Now for round three of chapter five:
     
  13. kitsune

    kitsune Captain

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    Hmmm. Imagination is the subject of the first half of the sentence, but the public is the subject of the second half of the sentence. Awkward.

    insert a hyphen before class

    here also

    insert another hyphen before old

    Eh? Extraneous and?

    What had begun

    I think I've picked all the nits I can now, honest :lol:
     
  14. Plecostomus

    Plecostomus Commodore

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    Damn it you scared him away again! :D
     
  15. SicOne

    SicOne Commodore Commodore

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    Plecostomus, "awesometisity" is not a word, Mr. President.

    Try "awesomeability" instead...

    Yes, there is no higher feeling than editing someone else's copy.

    Praetor, I have some heavy reading in this thread to catch up on, then I'll start in...:)

    No, seriously, what I have seen thus far just skimming through looks pretty good.
     
  16. Praetor

    Praetor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Thanks! And everyone's crits are welcome, otherwise I wouldn't post.

    Actually, I just don't feel well today. :(

    Anyway, hopefully this will be the last iteration of chapter five and we can move on to six:
     
  17. Plecostomus

    Plecostomus Commodore

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    MOAR! *poke poke poke prod stab poke*
     
  18. Praetor

    Praetor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I was waiting for kitsune.

    :hugegrin:

    I promise I'll post the next chapter later on today.
     
  19. Praetor

    Praetor Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I keep neglecting to mention that if anyone has any 'canon' nits with any of this to fire away on those too.

    Ah, what the hell. Make the people happy. Here we go.

    Edit: 4000th post, I'm a Rear Admiral now.
     
    Last edited: Mar 28, 2009
  20. kitsune

    kitsune Captain

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    I promised not to find any more nits in that chapter ^_^
     

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