ENT Caption Contest #88: A Very Special Episode

Discussion in 'Star Trek: Enterprise' started by Skywalker, Feb 12, 2013.

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  1. Skywalker

    Skywalker Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2005
    Hail, captioneers! It's that time again. Well past time, actually. You see, due to host forgetfulness, our last contest went on a few days longer than was intended. Please allow me to apologize for my neglectfulness. I shall endeavor to do better. In the meantime, let's get on with it, yes?

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    First up we have the "Best Laid Plans..." award, going to:
    Followed by the "Hello, Computer!" award, going to:
    Up next is the "Check the Iron Eagle 15 Set" award, going to:
    We also have the "Manny Coto Seal of Fanwank Approval" award, going to:
    Up next is the "I Refused to Make the Obvious Sex Joke" award, going to:
    Our tag-team award goes to:
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    Thanks to everyone who participated, and congrats to our winners!

    Our adventures through the brilliance that is mid-Season Two continues. In our next episode, "Stigma," the writers offer us a dramatic A-story that continues the Star Trek tradition of tackling a serious issue that no other shows have dared to touch, and pair it with a serious and emotional B-story that examines the important topic that is sexual harassment in the workplace. Enjoy!

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  2. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Archer: (thinking) Great, the Denobulans are the long lost offspring of Batman Villains.

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    Trip: No, please stop talking about your sex life with Phlox, I may chew my finger off.

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    Phlox: Interesting, you had lines in this episode, but you ate the script.

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    T'Pol: Stop staring at my butt, Captioners. This is a serious scene!


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    Archer: What?! You''re out of reservations for Valentine's Day?
     
  3. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
    When the crew couldn't get R & R, Archer at least brought some R & R to the crew...
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    "Hello, Sailor..."

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    Denobulan: "One at a time or both together, I'll take you both on."
    Trip mumbling: "What's Denobulan for 'Ewww'?"


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    Phlox: "She broke two of your ribs, and sucked your testes completely dry."
    Travis: "Wow! What a woman."
    Phlox: "Makes me proud to be her husband."

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    T'Pol: "The vibratomax 6000. Where is it? Don't tell me I left it back home?"


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    Archer: "Oh my God! Don't tell me..."
    T'Pol: "Future guy is..."
    Archer: "Lwaxana Troi?"
     
  4. jespah

    jespah Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2011
    Location:
    Boston, the Gateway to the Galaxy
    Thanks for the tag team win! :)

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    Archer: I like her! She reminds me of a baseball I once knew.

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    Hoshi: So you ALL have eight inch tongues?
    Feezal: And you don't?
    Trip: Uhhh....

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    Phlox: You're pregnant. Why doesn't anyone around here use a Calrissian condom???

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    T'Pol (thinking): Let's see ... Bible, tooth-whitening kit, Handbook of Lame Opening Lines ..... All I need is a plain skirt suit and I'll be ready for my next stint as a Jehovah's Witness in Space.

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    Forrest (OS): The Vulcans want to keep your security deposit on the NX-01. They say there's a dent in the starboard nacelle and cigarette burns in the carpeting on E deck.
     
  5. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    TFTW, Skywalker!

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    Trip (whispering): "That's a man, baby!"


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    Phlox: "Relax, I'll have this off of you in no time. Just out of curiosity, who is 'Ruby'?"
    Travis: "I have no idea! All I know is that tattoo parlors should be outlawed on Wrigley's Pleasure Planet!"


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    T'Pol: "Leather-bound journal and address books, two reels of 8mm home movies, small laser pistol in pocket-carry holster, fishing tackle kit, two unopened sheet sets from SpaceMart, and two ice cube trays. Nobody packs a suitcase like my Mom!"
     
  6. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
    TFTWs, Skywalker! Woo hoo!

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    Archer: Note to self: Stock up on decon gel and tic tacs.


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    Feezil: Tell me, do the other male crew fill out their uniforms better than Commander Tucker?

    Hoshi: Oh God yes; I mean, I don't know...?


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    Phlox: It seems your six pack is in fact two 40's.


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    That's everything, but there's no room for any panties. Meh, who'm I kidding <closes suitcase>.


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    Archer: Is that a mural of you riding a saber tooth tiger into a demon battle?

    T'Pol: Before I joined Starfleet I was a groupie for Vulcan Molly Hatchet.

    Archer: I've got to, uh, go decon myself.
     
  7. TommyR01D

    TommyR01D Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2011
    Location:
    UK
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    T'Pol's revenge against the poor ensign who revealed "her" big secret.
     
  8. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
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    Puffing up their cheeks wasn't the only thing female Denobulans could do...

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    Hoshi: What do you think Trip?
    Trip: I dunno the mouth is too wide and her lips look rubbery...

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    Archer: Lieutenant Hoshi, WHAT ARE YOU DOING SWINGING ON THAT POLE?
     
  9. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
    :guffaw: Molly Hatchet, that sure takes me back.
     
  10. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
    ^Ha ha, I thought I was just spittin' in the wind with that one!
     
  11. Skywalker

    Skywalker Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2005
    I don't get it. :ouch:
     
  12. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
  13. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Austin, TX
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    Phlox: Good afternoon, Mayweather. What do you need help with?

    Mayweather: ..... *zips open uniform*....*points*

    Phlox: Alright. *scans tummy* You seem more talkative than usual
     
  14. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Archer: Stop doing that before lose my lunch.

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    Phlox: Your abs are pregnant.

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    T'Pol: This ship needs a Science lab, I really don't like storing alien soil samples in my quarters.
     
  15. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
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    Let's see. I've got a robe, towels and ashtrays. The TV remote, light bulbs and Gideon bible. Tiny toothpastes and shampoos, soaps, cups and shower nozzle. Now what else isn't nailed down? I likes me some booty that say "Enterprise Motel!"
     
  16. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
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    Phlox: You must have a guardian angel Mayweather because usually those facehuggers go to... well... your face.
    Mayweather: And the alien inside?
    Phlox: Has been removed, he will make an interesting pet...
     
  17. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Jolene Blaylock: "Look, I'm already wearing a skintight spandex suit-what more do you want?"

    Voice(OS): "Could you take it off?"
     
  18. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    T'POL: Let's see. Gel explosives. Books on the art of human seduction and sabotage. Those round eared sons of a raptor have a surprise coming.
     
    Last edited: Feb 27, 2013
  19. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Open the door!
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    Damn, I forgot my shoehorn. Looks like I'll be wearing the same outfit for a few weeks - again.
     
  20. Riker's Libido

    Riker's Libido Lieutenant Junior Grade

    Joined:
    Mar 5, 2013
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    T'Pol: I wonder if I can change my name to Tu'Pok. .... I have to poop.

    *ACHIEVEMENT UNLOCKED*
     
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