ENT Caption Contest #86: Worst. Slumber Party. Ever.

Discussion in 'Enterprise' started by Skywalker, Jan 1, 2013.

  1. Skywalker

    Skywalker Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2005
    Another year, another caption contest. Sure feels like it takes a year between these things, doesn't it? Sorry again for the late start, but now that the holidays are past I should be able to keep up better.

    That said, on to the next contest! But first, You-Know-Who has something to say...

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    Right. Now that that's out of the way, let's get to it.

    First up we have the "At Least It's Not Voyager" award, going to:
    Followed by the "What Happens on Risa Stays on Risa" award, going to:
    Next up we have the "And a Fetish is Born" award, going to:
    Continuing onward, we have the "Screw the Ratings, Nobody's Watching Anyway" award, the lucky winner being:
    We also have the "Men Are from Romulus, Women Are from Vulcan" award, going to:
    Our tag-team award goes to:
    And our Photoshop award goes to:
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    Thanks to everyone who participated, and congrats to our winners! Also, I hope everyone had a happy and safe holiday season.

    With that long ordeal behind us, we now move on to "The Catwalk," the latest in Season Two's long line of show-killing mediocrity. Let's hope our brave captioners can liven this turkey up!

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  2. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
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    "They gave me a line in this episode."
     
  3. jespah

    jespah Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2011
    Location:
    Boston, the Gateway to the Galaxy
    Thanks for the tag-team win! Gazelles everywhere are a-skeered.

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    Archer, Off-screen - Anyone who can roll their tongue gets to be a Lieutenant. And they get a line in this episode.

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    In my magic mirror, I see Travis, and Liz, and Michael. And a campy, over the top Empress with excessive makeup and a taste for B & D who looks a lot like me.

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    T'Pol - Must you read your porn collection now?
    Archer - It helps me sleep better. We haven't invented neuropressure yet.
    T'Pol - Okay, but must you moan and do the gestures?
    Archer - These gestures?
    Vulcan eyeroll.

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    Travis - I learned how to roll my tongue. I'm gonna be a Lieutenant! And I'll get lines.
    Hoshi - Security! Who the hell is this guy?

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    Archer, Offscreen - You're not doing the tongue roll right! No lines for you!
     
  4. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2012
    Location:
    Shangri-La
    Thanks for the win! Happy new year to everyone, and grats on all the winners too. Some great ones this time around!

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    Reed: Our science officer is so hot. I'd do anything to see that hot Vulcan body.
    Mayweather: No way! She's our superior, we could get in so much trouble!
    Phlox: Infantile minds. Watch and learn. (raises voice) Oh subcommander! I need to see you in the decon chamber for your medical evaulation!

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    The fanboys quickly lost interest in Hoshi when they found out about her girlstache.

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    T'Pol: Captain?
    Archer: (startled) What? It's not what you think! It's not erotic fanfiction about us!

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    Mayweather: If I don't get a line, I'll just flirt with the camera until they give me one.

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    Trip: It's a good thing I brought my library card with us.
    T'Pol: Why?
    Trip: Because I am totally checking -you- out!
     
  5. lurok

    lurok Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2011
    Location:
    Lost in the EU expanse with a nice cup of tea
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    Travis: How you doin' :)
    Hoshi: That's not the line

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    T'Pol: What is so amusing, Captain?
    Archer: Oh, the execs' ideas for the show's finale. There's a great joke here about turning us all into holodeck characters.
     
  6. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    TFTW!

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    T'Pol (annoyed and alarmed): "Are you...are you tweeting about me?!!"
     
  7. Mach5

    Mach5 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Oct 23, 2008
    Location:
    The Iran of EU
  8. Herkimer Jitty

    Herkimer Jitty Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2008
    Location:
    Dayglow, New California Republic
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    Phlox: "If Lieutenant Reed doesn't stop sucking on lemons, the quantum citrus particle damage to his tongue could be permanent."

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    Gorn infiltrators should never forget to file down their teeth.

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    T'pol: "That is not an iPad. That is a large Tupperware lid you are holding like an iPad."

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    Travis: "Well well well, what have we here?"

    Hoshi: "Stop that right now. You are not Lando Calrissian."

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    Trip: "Well, sure, I've got no idea how to fix this here warp engine. Never did. But I sure can grill up a mean catfish."
     
  9. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Phlox: "I'm looking forward to your first physical, Ensign!"
    Reed: "Look! My tongue just got hard!"
    Mayweather: "I think I'm in love!"
    Hoshi (OS, sighs): "Christ, this is going to be a looong deployment!"


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    T'Pol (OS): "Ensign, aren't you worried that someone will make some disgusting 'picking hairs out of her teeth' caption?"
    Hoshi: "Worried? I've got a bet riding on it!"
     
    Last edited: Jan 2, 2013
  10. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Out of my brain on the 5:15
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    T'POL (oc): I don't recall any regulation requiring two witnesses during a physical exam.

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    ARCHER: It's not porn!!!

    T'POL: I didn't ask.
     
  11. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    T'Pol (OS): "You've heard of the 'Vulcan Death Grip'? Well, we call this the 'Vulcan Love Grip.' You like it?"
     
  12. Gil T.Azell

    Gil T.Azell Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2005
    Location:
    Gil T.Azell
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    Hoshi: (thinking) "Dam-it I hate when they get stuck in my teeth!"

    Looks Like Hoshi won the bet.
     
  13. Valin

    Valin Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2003
    Location:
    Helium, Barsoom
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    "I hope T'Pol doesn't mind that I borrowed her lipstick? Wait a minute. This isn't lipstick; I wonder if it's a... No!"
     
  14. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Here to solve a mystery.
    Thank ye for the wins, Hanukkah Solo!

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    Phlox: Captain, why don't we just skip the diplomatic protocols for Vaginus VII.

    Mayweather: That is not how you do that.

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    T'Pol is right, shaving with a boot knife is so much easier than a pair of safety scissors.


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    T'Pol: Are those my X rays again?
    Archer: Maybe. Who wants to know?


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    Hoshi: I was wrong. You should forget bars and stick to the internet.


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    Trip: Hate to see you leave, but I love to watch you go.

    Hoshi:
    Oh come on! It's the Captain's dog for crying out loud! How long have we been in space anyway??
     
  15. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
    TFTW Hanukkah Solo!


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    Archer (o/s): I have an idea, instead of exploring new worlds why not we blow up random natural stuff? And you know entertain the crew?
    Reed: With what sir? This is a ship of exploration after all.
    Archer (o/s): Oh bugger it...

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    <Hoshi thinking> Now remember Hoshi if your teeth go whiter, it's not a sign your fading away from some transporter mishap...

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    Archer: Me and you on this bed right now making crazy passionate love due to being sexually repressed for so long?
    T'Pol: Though it is a logical suggestion, I am not that desperate captain.

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    Mayweather: I have a confession; this ship is always on autopilot.

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    Trip: A platinum coloured wingnut? Awesome!
     
  16. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Archer: You know, we just just speak aloud rather than texting back and forth.
     
  17. BriGuy

    BriGuy Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2001
    Location:
    Pittsburgh, PA, USA
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    Archer: The surveillance system on this ship is quite extensive...

    I don't have to "imagine," commander.
     
  18. BriGuy

    BriGuy Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2001
    Location:
    Pittsburgh, PA, USA
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    T'Pol: Captain, with the exception of the Pakleds, you are the last humanoid in the quadrant who still plays "Angry Birds."
     
  19. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Archer: "I've been reading over your crew evaluations. I like the way you wrote that Ensign Brady 'plays well with others.'"
    T'Pol: "Well, I figured calling her the 'ship's bike' on her official evaluation might be unnecessarily harsh."
     
    Last edited: Jan 3, 2013
  20. Herkimer Jitty

    Herkimer Jitty Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jul 4, 2008
    Location:
    Dayglow, New California Republic
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    Trip: "Piloting a starship ain't like dustin' crops, boy!"
     

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