ENT Caption Contest #85: We Hates the Precious!

Discussion in 'Enterprise' started by Skywalker, Nov 26, 2012.

  1. Skywalker

    Skywalker Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2005
    Happy Monday everyone! Apologies for not getting the next contest up sooner, I decided to extend the last one through the holiday weekend. Unfortunately, that means a certain someone's gotten rather impatient. You see, he doesn't much like waiting, and--

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    *sigh* See what I mean?

    First up, we have the "In a Mirror, Subtly" award, going to:
    Next we have the "Putting That Education to Good Use" award, going to:
    We then proceed to the "Brutally Honest" award, going to:
    Next up is the "Now 20% More Terrifying" award, going to:
    We also have the "Captain Jonathan Awkward" award, going to:
    Our Photoshop Award goes to:
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    Thanks to everyone who participated, and congrats to our winners!

    Now it's time to move on to one of the series' truly great episodes, featuring a bravura performance from Padma Lakshmi. I don't know about you guys, but I've been looking forward to this one for weeks!

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    Have fun!
     
  2. lurok

    lurok Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 15, 2011
    Location:
    Lost in the EU expanse with a nice cup of tea
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    Padma Lakshmi, for crimes against acting you will be sentenced to cryogenic suspension for an indefinite period of time.
     
  3. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Aug 20, 2009
    Location:
    T'Girl
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    THERE'S SOMETHING OUT ON THE WING ...
    AND IT'S TEARING APART THE ENGINE !!!

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    Archer: "When you said Hoshi was growing weed in the cargo bay,
    I thought you meant, you know, weed.

    T'Pol: "These are weeds Captain."

    :)
     
  4. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 1, 2011
    Location:
    The great gig in the sky
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    Trip: I like my girls all wet and soaking!

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    Trip: This hypospanner, it's old but it still screws... You know what I'm saying girl?

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    Trip: Oh God! The husband!

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    Malcolm: Look at Trip go!
     
  5. Miss Lemon

    Miss Lemon Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2012
    Location:
    Miss Lemon is chasing dwarves in Middle-earth
    If only! :rommie:
     
  6. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2012
    Location:
    Shangri-La
    Thanks for the wins!

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    Padma: I have to be on an episode of.... Enterprise?!

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    Trip(to Padma's last caption): Get over it lady, I have to be here every day!

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    Trip: Hooking up with an alien princess is more trouble than it's worth.
    Kaitaama: Hey!

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    T'Pol: That hoe done stole my man!

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    T'Pol: As I said Captain, Trip and the alien princess are fornicating here in the grass.
    Malcolm: Way to go Trip!
    T'Pol: Are you not going to arrest them? This is a clear violation of Starfleet regulations.
    Archer: We should stay here and observe them so we can make a complete and detailed report.
     
  7. jespah

    jespah Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2011
    Location:
    Boston, the Gateway to the Galaxy
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    Put your clothes back on, Commander!

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    Trip - Your Highness, I could swear I heard y'all break wind.
    Kaitaama (offscreen) - Princesses don't fart, Commoner!
    Trip - Dammit, I heard ya. Just admit it, Lady, ya fart like a Clydesdale!


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    Kaitaama - This is so awesome. Camelot!
    Trip - It's only a model.


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    They forgot to give me a torch for my Statue of Liberty impression.

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    Jon - I think she might be naked.
    T'Pol - I do not see anything.
    Malcolm - Oh yeah, she's naked.
     
  8. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
    Thanks for the win, Skywalker!

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    Kaitaama: "But...this place is renowned throughout the galaxy as a tropical vacation paradise!"
    Trip: "Hey, you're the one who wanted to save some dough by booking during the off season!"


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    Hoshi (OS): "I thought you said you were going to 'boink him cross-eyed.'"
    Kaitaama: "Almost!"
     
    Last edited: Nov 27, 2012
  9. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    Padma: You mean, I have to ACT?!


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    Trip: This escape pod is more temperamental than you!

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    T'Pol: All Rise.

    ...

    T'Pol: I meant 'stand up' you pervs.

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    Archer: That's just so...

    Reed: Stunning?

    Archer: Good idea, Malcolm.

    Archer fires Phase Pistol at Trip and Kaitaama.

     
  10. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Just passing through.
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    Trip: According to the computer, everything was perfectly preserved against the ravages of time. Except - your pelvic area.

    Kaitaama:
    No, that was preserved too.


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    Phlox: What's the last thing you remember, Trip?
    Trip: Putting tequila on my cornflakes.
    Phlox: Well that explains the tramp stamp.


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    Is that a spanner in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

    Spanner.


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    Watch out for Bigfoot.
     
  11. Skywalker

    Skywalker Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Feb 24, 2005
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    Connor Trinneer: "You call that a script?! Come on, guys! If you keep writing junk like this, the show's gonna get canceled, and I'll probably end up doing guest spots on some crappy Stargate spinoff!"
     
  12. ncc71877

    ncc71877 Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    May 26, 2001
    Location:
    Texas Panhandle of Earth 2
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    Padma: "Please pack your knifes and go."
    Trip: "And, stop putting that goddamn foam on everything!"
     
  13. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 3, 2000
    Location:
    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    "Judge T'Pol" became a favorite show on Earth in the mid-22nd Century.

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    Archer:I will never un-see that.
     
  14. jespah

    jespah Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jun 21, 2011
    Location:
    Boston, the Gateway to the Galaxy
    Reed - Are you joking, sir? I've filmed it and am planning to show it on Movie Night, with some, I am led to believe it's referred to as 'wacka chewacka' music.
     
  15. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Just passing through.
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    Ok, that's good, T'Pol. Now put on the headdress and hold the torch so painting class can get started.
     
  16. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    T'POL: Well, this is what I'm wearing from now on. The drooling fanboys will just have to deal with it!
     
  17. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2008
    Location:
    Just passing through.
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    T'Pol: On Vulcan, this act is known as "The Great Taboo."

    Reed: Space Pygmies? Here?
     
  18. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Location:
    Between the candle and the flame
    Trip: "Quit laughing, it isn't funny! Now, someone help me get my hands out of this waste recycling unit!"
     
  19. Jonas Grumby

    Jonas Grumby Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jan 24, 2002
    Location:
    Somewhere in the South Pacific
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    Trip: "Cut! No, no, no, that's all wrong!"
    T'Pol: "What? I'm following your script exactly. 'She enters the scene with her robe carelessly draped open in front.'"
    Trip (sighs): "You really don't have a clue what 'porn' is, do you."
     
  20. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
    Nov 4, 2001
    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    ARCHER: I didn't know Kriosians were tripled jointed.

    T'POL: They're not.

    REED: In that case. Ouch!