DS9 Season 10, ep 10x08 - "Property Values"

Discussion in 'Fan Fiction' started by lvsxy808, Oct 10, 2011.

  1. lvsxy808

    lvsxy808 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2001
    Location:
    London
    Hi all!

    In case you're wondering why I'm starting at episode 8, all the previous episodes are available in the original DS9 Season 10 thread, here:

    http://trekbbs.com/showthread.php?t=143895

    The thread features links to downloadable PDFs. The direct links to all the PDFs so far are as follows:

    10x01 - "Emancipation"

    10x02 - "Brave New World"

    10x03 - "Steppin' Out"

    10x04 - "Easy Come, Easy Go"

    10x05 - "Deep Down"

    10x06 - "The Dream Box"

    10x07 - "Instinct"

    I am also in the process of uploading the stories as on-screen text to the Ad Astra forums, where the link to my series is:

    http://www.adastrafanfic.com/viewseries.php?seriesid=83

    So now I've decided to upload the text of the stories here in the same fashion. You can still download the PDf if you choose. The link for episode 8 is here:

    10x08 - "Property Values"

    Enjoy! And please continue to let me know what you think. I do appreciate the feedback.

    .
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2011
  2. lvsxy808

    lvsxy808 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2001
    Location:
    London
    TEASER


    FADE IN:


    1 EXT. DEEP SPACE NINE - ESTABLISHING

    A couple of shuttles dotted about. Just the usual moment to bring us in...


    2 INT. DS9 – QUARK’S BAR

    Beginning close on Orion dabo girl TREIR, who is furious...

    TREIR
    What is your problem now? ​

    QUARK is equally furious, giving as good as he gets. The two of them are hissing at each other across the bar – Quark behind, Treir in front – while trying to keep their voices down for appearance’s sake. No-one is fooled. Extras and familiar faces keep their heads down and get on with their business for the lunch-time rush.

    QUARK
    You are! When are you going to
    learn that I am in charge here? ​

    TREIR
    (growl)
    When are you going to learn
    that I have twice your body
    strength and could kick your
    ass with my eyes closed? ​

    QUARK
    Oh, that’s real smart, Treir.
    Threaten your employer. That’s
    solid grounds for a firing right there. ​

    TREIR
    What are you getting so twisted
    up about? All I said was that
    you should consider giving
    Hetik a raise. ​

    QUARK
    No, what you did was tell Hetik
    I was giving him a raise. ​

    TREIR
    I said you might. ​

    QUARK
    Yeah, well it doesn’t take much
    for “he might” to become “he
    will,” then “he promised” and
    then I’ve got people demanding
    the more money I never promised
    them in the first place! ​

    TREIR
    He deserves it. We all do, for
    putting up with you if nothing else. ​

    QUARK
    You know, Treir, for someone who
    claims to be so clever, you have
    a real hard time remembering who
    hands out the latinum around here. ​

    TREIR
    The customers do. And you
    wouldn’t have half as many of
    them if not for me and Hetik
    actually showing them a good time
    instead of scaring them away
    with stupid macho posturing. ​

    QUARK
    Exactly. I’m getting everything
    I need out of the both of you
    as it is. So why should I give
    you more money to do what you
    were doing already? ​

    TREIR
    Do I really have to explain the
    concept of “a happy employee is
    a productive employee” to you?
    I thought you were supposed to
    be a good businessman. ​

    QUARK
    (smug)
    “Employees are the rungs on
    the ladder to success – don’t
    hesitate to step on them.” ​

    TREIR
    Yeah yeah, Rule of Acquisition
    two-hundred-and-eleven. We’ll
    see how good that works for you
    when you’ve got no employees. ​

    QUARK
    (scoff)
    Where are you gonna go? He’s an
    orphan and you were a slave.
    You know perfectly well you’ve
    got a better life here with me
    then you would have anywhere
    else. If you’d only get this
    insane idea out of your head
    that you have any kind of say
    in what goes on around here. ​

    TREIR
    Just because I’m an employee
    doesn’t mean I’m not entitled
    to my own opinions, Quark. ​

    QUARK
    Absolutely you are. It’s this
    idea that the rest of us are
    entitled to your opinions as
    well that’s the problem. Just
    shut your mouth and look pretty.
    That’s all females will ever
    be good for. ​

    Wow, that was really harsh. Treir stares at him, amazed.

    TREIR
    You disgust me. ​

    She turns on the spot and stalks out of the room. Quark yells after her...

    QUARK
    “Everyone loves the bartender!”
    Rule number one-forty-seven! ​

    Still furious, he turns back to work. But as Treir ignores him and continues to walk out of the bar, we notice that RO LAREN has been standing by the small section of bar that leads directly out onto the Promenade.

    Quark hasn’t noticed her, but she heard the whole argument. Off Ro’s annoyed, worried face...


    3 INT. DS9 – HABITAT RING

    Treir stomps along the corridor, still seething.

    TREIR
    Goddess, I hate that bigoted
    little son of a slorg. I swear
    one of these days I’m gonna
    tear his ugly ears right off
    his fat head. ​

    She turns a corner and comes face to face with a new person – the small and gnarly Orion merchant prince MALIC (last seen 8x12 “Demons of Air and Darkness”). Treir’s previous slave-master. He’s clearly been waiting for her.

    MALIC
    Bad day, Treir? ​

    She jerks to a stop, shocked and scared to see him here. She starts subtly stepping backwards, away from him.

    TREIR
    (voice shaking)
    Malic... what are you doing here? ​

    MALIC
    Oh, just some...
    (nasty grin)
    ...unfinished business. ​

    Treir keeps backing away. Malic advances slowly, taking his time. No need to rush this. His voice is smooth, seductive.

    MALIC
    I was very sad when you left my
    service, Treir. ​

    TREIR
    That wasn’t my fault. I was
    taken hostage. ​

    MALIC
    You could have come back. ​

    TREIR
    Did you really expect me to? ​

    Still slowly stalking forwards...

    MALIC
    A woman’s place is to serve her
    man, Treir. You know that. It’s
    what you were born to. But no...
    you had to run away...
    (w/ disgust)
    ...with another female... and
    a Ferengi who obviously bought
    whatever junk she sold him. ​

    TREIR
    They did me a favour, both of them. ​

    MALIC
    Not really. All they did was
    bring the wrath of the Orion
    Syndicate down on themselves.
    Because you are my property,
    Treir, and if there’s one
    thing the Syndicate protects,
    it’s their property. ​

    Treir backs up one more step, and as she does, two pairs of big green hands come from behind and quickly pull a cloth sack over her head. She struggles against them, but the two huge, hulking and muscled Orion THUGS grab her roughly and hold her tight. She starts to scream, but they pull the sack tight over her face, strangling the breath out of her.

    Malic continues to smile.

    MALIC
    There’s no point struggling,
    Treir. Just relax, and I’ll
    soon get you back home...
    where you belong. ​

    As Treir continues to struggle against the thugs...


    FADE OUT:


    END OF TEASER


    .
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2011
  3. lvsxy808

    lvsxy808 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2001
    Location:
    London

    ACT ONE


    FADE IN:


    4 INT. DS9 – HABITAT RING

    Right where we left it, as Treir struggles against the big Orion thugs, her head thrashing about desperately in the sack. She’s going nowhere – they’re far too strong for her. Malic watches, a little sad. He sighs dramatically.

    MALIC
    I should have known you’d put
    up a fight, Treir. I wish you
    wouldn’t – I prefer my slaves
    not to be covered in bruises.
    But in the circumstances I’d
    be willing to put up with it
    this once. ​

    He nods to the thugs, and they start to drag her away...

    RO (o.s.)
    Hey! ​

    Malic turns and sees that Ro has appeared at the next intersection down the corridor. She sees them, and she is pissed. She pelts towards them at full speed... Malic steps back, unconcerned.

    MALIC
    Boys... ​

    Thug 1 takes a tighter hold on Treir, while Thug 2 lets go and advances to face Ro... As Ro reaches them, Thug 2 aims a punch. Ro swiftly ducks it before it gets anywhere near her, and aims a sharp jab right at his plexus.

    He staggers back a bit, but it doesn’t put him out. He comes back with another punch. Ro’s too fast again – she dodges it. The thug ends up punching a big dent in the bulkhead. Ro moves fast – before Thug 2 can set up for another punch, she pops him straight in the nose.

    Malic is starting to get a little concerned now. Treir struggles harder than ever...

    MALIC
    (to Thug 1)
    Give her to me. ​

    He moves to take hold of Treir himself, so that Thug 1 can join the fight against Ro... but in the moment of distraction, Treir breaks free and spins on the spot. With the sack still on her head, she knees Thug 1 right in the groin, and when he bends over in pain, she elbows him in the face.

    Ro launches a karate high-kick at Thug 2’s face (revealing that she’s still wearing the anti-grav anklets). He goes down to his knees, and she delivers a hard thump to the back of his neck, sending him unconscious to the deck.

    Thug 1 crumples too, still conscious but groaning at his battered groin... until Ro kicks him hard in the face, and he bonks against the bulkhead, knocked unconscious.

    Treir tears the sack from her head, shakes her hair loose. She and Ro turn to look at Malic, who has backed away to safety. He glares at Ro, seething.

    MALIC
    You. ​

    Ro smiles back, smugly. She recognises him.

    RO
    You. ​

    And Treir knocks him unconscious with a single punch. Ro slumps against the bulkhead, catching her breath... Treir rushes to her...

    TREIR
    Laren! Are you okay? ​

    RO
    I’ve been better...​

    TREIR
    Oh Goddess, Laren, thank you so
    much. I’m lucky you were here... ​

    RO
    I just followed you to try and
    apologise for Quark being such
    an ass. I wasn’t expecting to
    have to take out three Orions. ​

    She tests her leg and back. Her eyes flare with the pain.

    RO
    Oh... wow... ​

    Treir moves to help her...

    RO
    No no, I’ll be fine. Thanks though.
    (beat)
    You did pretty well yourself there. ​

    TREIR
    (grin)
    You think I never had to put
    a man in his place before? ​

    Upright at last, they look down at the three Orion men unconscious on the deck...


    5 ON MONITOR SCREEN

    The image on the screen shows the high angle of the security cells area. Malic sits on the cot in the middle cell, with his two thugs occupying the smaller cells to either side of him.

    CENN (o.s.)
    So... who is this guy again? ​

    WIDEN to reveal...


    6 INT. DS9 – WARD ROOM

    KIRA sits at the head of the table, with VAUGHN on one side and Ro on the other. Quark and Treir are also there, and they haven’t exactly made up for the earlier fight. Also present is Major CENN, the Bajoran liaison officer.

    They’re all turned to look at the screen on the Wardroom wall, showing the view of the security cells...

    RO
    Malic was an Orion Merchant
    Prince – a high-up figure in
    the Orion Syndicate, which is
    an organised crime outfit that’s
    been a periodic thorn in Star-
    fleet’s side since before there
    was a Starfleet. They’ve run
    operations with just about
    every shady character from here
    to Kronos. The Maquis had some
    dealings with them – weapons
    deals and so forth. I think
    even the Dominion used their
    services at one point.
    (re screen)
    About two years ago, Malic was
    approached by some aliens called
    the Petraw, who were trying to
    run a scam by selling the Iconian
    Gateways to the highest bidder.
    Malic hired Quark to be his
    negotiator... and Quark very
    wisely took me along as under-
    cover security. ​

    QUARK
    Not under much cover. ​

    Ro gives him a glare. He’s already in her bad books.

    RO
    Anyway – after it all went
    inevitably wrong, we needed
    to escape. To help us do that,
    I took Treir as a hostage. ​

    CENN
    So Treir was one of his crew? ​

    RO
    (angry)
    She was one of his slaves. Orions
    as a culture are even more sexist
    than Ferengi...
    (bitter glance
    at Quark)
    ...their women are little more
    than property of the men. Used
    as sexual playthings and then
    stored until they’re needed again. ​

    Cenn listens to this, disquieted. Treir has kept her head down and her eyes averted – she doesn’t particularly enjoy having her past rehashed in front of all these people. But now she raises her head and looks them all in the eye. She’s not ashamed or cowed – she’s going to own it.

    TREIR
    I was the best at what I did.
    I worked my way up the ranks...​

    QUARK
    I’m sure the ranks were very grateful. ​

    TREIR
    (glower at Quark)
    ...and I lived in luxury. I
    had everything I could want.
    The best food, the best furs,
    the best jewels...​

    RO
    Just not your freedom. But
    you’re right – you were one of
    Malic’s prized possessions. ​

    VAUGHN
    And now he’s decided he wants
    her back. What took him so long? ​

    RO
    He only just got out of jail.
    With all the dirt I got on him
    during the Petraw scam, Starfleet
    should have been able to lock
    him up for a good long time. ​

    KIRA
    Then why is he out now? ​

    RO
    I don’t know. But I can guess.
    He’ll have pulled in favours
    from across the quadrant. Made
    deals and greased wheels every
    chance he got. If there’s any
    body who can figure out how to
    gild his own cage, it’s Malic.
    And he didn’t escape – he was
    officially released. ​

    KIRA
    So what do we do with him now
    that he’s here? ​

    RO
    (frustrated)
    There’s not much we can do.
    Malic has managed to find and
    exploit a unique and very
    inconvenient legal loophole.
    Because the fact is, Treir has
    no legal status on this station. ​

    KIRA
    How can that be? She’s been
    living here for two years. ​

    TREIR
    I’d really appreciate it if
    you all stopped talking about
    me like I wasn’t here. ​

    RO
    I’m sorry, Treir – you’re right.
    But the thing is, when I took
    you hostage from Malic’s ship
    and brought you here, I did so
    against Orion law, obviously.
    Even after you started working
    for Quark, you never officially
    applied for citizenship. With
    all the upheaval of Bajor
    joining the Federation, and
    setting up the bar as the
    Ferengi embassy, you just kind
    of slipped through the cracks. ​

    VAUGHN
    So she’s what they used to
    call an undocumented worker.​

    RO
    I’m afraid so. And none of us
    ever thought to question it.
    Which unfortunately leads us to
    Malic. What he’s done – coming
    after a runaway slave – is
    completely legal, even expected
    by Orion law. And since Treir
    has no legal status with us,
    the Federation has no legal
    grounds to interfere. It’s an
    internal Orion matter. The
    Prime Directive applies. ​

    KIRA
    So we just have to let him
    take her? ​

    RO
    That’s the letter of the law,
    yes. But I’ll be damned if I’m
    going to let the letter of the
    law defeat the spirit of it.
    (turns to Treir)
    Orion law may not give you the
    right to decide what happens
    in your own life, Treir, but
    we do. We’ll help, I promise.​

    VAUGHN
    Assuming that’s what you want. ​

    TREIR
    You’re damn right I want. What
    are my options? ​

    They all sit back to ponder for a moment.

    KIRA
    You could apply for asylum in
    the Federation. ​

    VAUGHN
    That’ll take forever to process. ​

    TREIR
    And what’s to stop Malic from
    just kidnapping me again in
    the meantime? He’s not going
    to care if it’s legal or not. ​

    VAUGHN
    She’s right. And it’s not going
    to be practical to have security
    tailing her twenty-six-seven. ​

    RO
    Then what? ​

    VAUGHN
    I can only think of one thing. ​

    Vaughn turns and looks meaningfully at Quark. Getting the message, the rest of the room also turns to look at Quark.

    QUARK
    What? ​

    VAUGHN
    Treir can apply for asylum with
    the Ferengi Alliance. You are
    the Ferengi ambassador to Bajor,
    are you not, Quark? You could
    ensure Treir’s legal status
    in a matter of minutes. ​

    TREIR
    Hold on a minute – you want me
    to become a Ferengi? They’re
    as bad as the Orions, you just
    said so yourself. ​

    RO
    You might not have a choice. ​

    QUARK
    And who said I wanted her?
    She’s been nothing but trouble
    since the day I hired her. ​

    KIRA
    (to Treir;
    ignoring Quark)
    Malic may be allowed to move
    around freely on the station
    because it’s Federation space,
    but the bar is sovereign
    Ferengi territory. As long as
    you stay inside the walls of
    the embassy, he can’t get you. ​

    TREIR
    So I have to live in the bar? ​

    VAUGHN
    Just until your legal status
    is settled. We can’t protect
    you otherwise. ​

    QUARK
    Hey – I said no. ​

    RO
    (still ignoring Quark)
    The bar is a finite space, it’ll
    be easy to post security at the
    entrances so Malic doesn’t get in. ​

    TREIR
    (resigned sigh)
    Alright – I guess you’re right,
    I don’t have a choice. ​

    QUARK
    Is no-one listening to me? I do
    not agree to this. ​

    RO
    Quark, if you don’t, you’re
    sending Treir back to a life
    of slavery. ​

    Quark pulls a face like “I don’t care.”

    RO (cont)
    But if you insist on pretending
    to be a heartless son of a slorg,
    then think of this in terms of
    business. If you lose Treir, you
    lose the best dabo girl you’ve
    ever had. Your customers might
    just decide not to bother coming
    to the bar anymore. Is that
    what you want? ​

    Quark grits his teeth, annoyed.


    FADE OUT:


    END OF ACT ONE


    [LEFT].[/LEFT]
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2011
  4. lvsxy808

    lvsxy808 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2001
    Location:
    London
    ACT TWO


    FADE IN:


    7 INT. DS9 – STORE ROOM

    The storage room of Quark’s bar, briefly seen in 7x24 “The Dogs of War.” Crates and bottles and buckets and unused furniture are strewn everywhere in a chaotic mess. Treir stands with a small travelling bag over her shoulder, looking around the room in horror. Quark stands behind her.

    TREIR
    You seriously expect me to
    sleep in here? ​

    QUARK
    It’s here or nowhere. ​

    TREIR
    Fine – as long as you don’t
    mind me working the dabo
    wheel stinking like rotting
    fruit and old synthehol. ​

    QUARK
    Everybody’s got their fetish. ​

    TREIR
    Where am I supposed to wash? ​

    QUARK
    You know where the public
    bathrooms are. ​

    She turns to him, her jaw set.

    TREIR
    Nuh-uh. No way. ​

    QUARK
    You have a better idea? ​

    TREIR
    I always have a better idea. ​


    8 INT. VIC’S LOUNGE

    VIC FONTAINE approaches Quark with arms wide in greeting. The lounge is middling-busy – an afternoon crowd, not full show time. Vic is in shirt-sleeves, casual but still smart.

    VIC
    Quark, you old degenerate. Good
    to see you, buddy. ​

    QUARK
    Hey Vic. I need to ask a favour. ​

    VIC
    Anything I can do, I’m happy
    to help. ​

    Quark turns and indicates Treir stood nearby.

    QUARK
    Does this hotel of yours have
    a spare room for a few nights? ​

    Vic gapes at Treir for the tiniest moment before recovering his cool. Staring is crass, but there’s no denying he’s impressed. Treir slinks towards him seductively, her hand out like a lady. Vic takes it gently and brings it to his lips for a chaste and gentlemanly kiss.

    TREIR
    Mister Fontaine, I don’t believe
    we’ve been properly introduced.
    My name is Treir, and I would be
    very... very... grateful for any
    help you could provide. ​

    VIC
    (nervous gulp)
    Absolutely. Umm...
    (shouts out)
    Ginger! ​

    [LEFT]Vic’s cocktail waitress GINGER (10x03 “Steppin’ Out”) quickly attends from where she was working the crowd. [/LEFT]

    GINGER
    What’s up, Vic? ​

    VIC
    Ginger, sweetheart, would you
    please escort this young lady
    to my suite? She’s going to be
    staying with me for a few days. ​

    GINGER
    Sure, Vic. Come on, honey. ​

    With a seductive smile of thanks for Vic, Treir allows Ginger to lead her away. Vic calls after them...

    VIC
    Oh, and while you’re at it...
    set up the couch for me.
    (back to Quark)
    Guess I got some bad backs
    coming my way.
    (beat)
    So, spill. What’s got your
    teeth a-gnashing? ​

    QUARK
    Euch. You don’t wanna know.
    Thanks, Vic. ​

    Suddenly light applause ripples through the crowd. Quark and Vic both look to the stage, where NOG is walking up to take pride of place. He’s a bit nervous, and he’s carrying a box, which he places on a stool before facing front.

    QUARK
    What’s going on? ​

    VIC
    Your talented young nephew is
    about to put on a show. ​

    QUARK
    Why? ​

    With the audience paying rapt attention, Nog reaches into his box and brings out an old-fashioned velvet top hat. Nog twists the hat this way and that for the audience’s benefit, revealing that it’s solid and empty. He places it on his head, which it of course nowhere near fits.

    VIC
    After I did that big show out
    on the Promenade, business has
    started to pick up in here again.
    I wanna make sure I don’t lose
    it, so I came up with the idea
    of a support act. You know,
    someone to warm up the crowd
    and give the people more bang
    for their bucks. I’ve been
    trying out some auditions on
    the afternoon crowd.​

    Nog reaches into the hat and pulls out a bunch of flowers. There’s distinctly unenthusiastic “oohs” of excitement from the crowd, and half-hearted applause. One of the more enthusiastic applauders is PRYNN, sat on the front row. She’s being as encouraging as she can for Nog’s sake, because nobody else is.

    VIC
    He’s doing great so far, don’t
    you think? ​

    Quark scoffs and rolls his eyes, and turns and walks away.

    On stage, Nog puts the hat away and pulls out an isolinear rod and a handkerchief. Placing the box on the floor, he places the rod on the top of the stool, and then drapes the handkerchief over the rod. He waves his hands freely over the handkerchief, and with a final “Abracadabra!” flourish, the rod begins to levitate off the stool, pulling the handkerchief with it.

    Prynn cheers and claps harder. The rest of the audience are just being polite, unimpressed. Vic smiles tensely and claps lightly. This isn’t going especially well.


    9 INT. DS9 – PROMENADE

    The Security office doors open and Malic emerges, followed by his two thugs. They are escorted by both Ro and Vaughn.

    Malic has a smug smirk, like he knows perfectly well there’s nothing they can do to him.

    MALIC
    You should really consider
    upgrading your accommodations,
    Lieutenant. It was almost
    like a prison in there. ​

    Ro only has a glare for the likes of him. With a superior smirk, Malic beckons his thugs and walks away.

    As they pass the door to Quark’s, Malic takes note of Major Cenn and Lieutenant BOWERS standing on either side of the door. They both have their arms folded, phasers at their hips, and a glare that says, “Just try it.”

    Malic rolls his eyes and moves along, undeterred. As he goes, Quark appears in the doorway and watches him go.
    Outside security, Vaughn nods “carry on” to Ro, and then walks away too. Ro looks over to the bar, sees Quark, and decides to wander over.


    10 INT. DS9 – QUARK’S BAR (CONTINUOUS)

    Quark heads back to his bar. Ro follows.

    RO
    Quark.
    (he turns to her)
    I guess I should thank you...
    for doing the right thing. ​

    QUARK
    Don’t. I couldn’t care less
    about her legal rights. I just
    want those Orion pheromones
    working for me and not Malic. ​

    Ro snaps, frustrated and exasperated with Quark.

    RO
    Quark, you really are the most
    stubborn, inflexible, sexist
    ingrate I’ve ever met. ​

    QUARK
    I’ll take that as a compliment. ​

    RO
    I must have said it wrong. ​

    QUARK
    Why should I be grateful to
    that infuriating know-it-all? ​

    RO
    To acknowledge all the good
    things she’s done for you.
    Every one of her ideas, you’ve
    ended up using, and they’ve
    all worked out great. ​

    QUARK
    “You paid for it, it’s your idea.” ​

    RO
    You respect her. You know you
    do. You just refuse to admit
    it because she’s a female. ​

    QUARK
    I admit I respect you, don’t I? ​

    RO
    A strong woman with a weapon,
    who can beat up Orions? That
    just feeds your sordid little
    fantasies. But a woman who’s
    as good at business as you?
    That you could never handle. ​

    Quark seems genuinely hurt and surprised.

    QUARK
    Do you really think that’s all
    I see in you? A fantasy? ​

    RO
    Have you given me any reason
    to think otherwise? ​

    Shaking her head with annoyance, Ro turns and walks back out of the bar.


    11 INT. VIC’S LOUNGE

    A little later. Nog’s magic show is over. Prynn stands at the bar, ordering a drink from one of Vic’s bartenders. The bartender brings the drink, and Prynn hands over some American money, without really having any idea what it is.

    She turns back around, sipping at the drink through a straw, and is surprised to see SHAR standing there. He’s awkward as always, as if plucking up the courage to speak.

    PRYNN
    Shar.​

    SHAR
    Hello, Prynn. ​

    PRYNN
    I didn’t realise you were here. ​

    SHAR
    I came to support Nog, as you did. ​

    PRYNN
    I didn’t see you. ​

    SHAR
    I stood at the back. I wasn’t
    sure you would wish to see me. ​

    That makes her sad. She softens and steps closer.

    PRYNN
    Shar... I’m so sorry. I know I
    left things really uncomfortable
    between us. And I guess I have
    been kind of avoiding you. That
    was unfair of me. I’m sorry. ​

    SHAR
    I understand. You feel a
    relationship with me would be
    inappropriate. ​

    PRYNN
    An intimate relationship, yes.
    But that’s not the only kind of
    relationship two people can have.
    I understand if you don’t want
    to, after all the things I said.
    But I’d like it if we could find
    a way to still be friends. ​

    SHAR
    How do we do that? ​

    PRYNN
    (relieved)
    Well... we just... talk. Tell
    me about what you’re working
    on at the moment. ​

    She directs him to a nearby table. They both move to sit. And they drift off into conversation...

    SHAR
    It is quite a complex research
    project, suggested to me by members
    of the Bajoran Science Ministry...​


    12 INT. VIC’S HOTEL SUITE

    The glamorous and opulent ’60s-styled décor of the Dunes Hotel’s finest suite, befitting its headlining star. The door opens, and Vic gingerly pokes his head in.

    VIC
    Treir? You decent? ​

    Treir enters from the bedroom, dressed very un-dabo. She’s wearing something like a baby’s all-in-one furry snuggie, her hair rolled up in a towel, and waddling on feet whose toes are separated to allow nail-polish to dry. She’s blowing on the nails of one hand, drying the polish there.

    TREIR
    I guess that depends on your definition. ​

    Smiling politely, Vic moves to look into the bedroom.

    BEDROOM

    It’s a disaster. Treir has thrown clothes everywhere, left wet towels on the floor, makeup on the counters, the works. Vic gazes at the mess, bemused and slightly appalled.

    VIC
    I see you’ve been settling in. ​

    TREIR
    Oh. Yeah. Sorry. I’ll clean it
    up. You’ll never know I was
    here, I promise. ​

    VIC
    Treir... it’s not that I mind
    the company, believe me. There
    are a lot worse things in the
    world than sharing your space
    with a beautiful lady. But I
    get the feeling this isn’t a
    social call. What’s going on? ​

    Treir sighs sadly. Can’t really not tell him.

    TREIR
    It’s one of those worse things
    you mentioned. ​

    VIC
    Let me guess. Some idiot who
    won’t take no for an answer? ​

    TREIR
    Pretty much. ​

    VIC
    Always gotta be a few bad apples
    spoiling it for the rest of us. ​

    TREIR
    (fake cheery)
    Don’t worry about me. I’m a
    chameleon. I’ll find a way to
    make it work, whatever happens. ​

    VIC
    Well, I just gotta pick up a
    couple of things for the show
    tonight, and then I’ll get out
    of your hair. ​

    He moves around the room, grabbing a few bits and pieces – a freshly dry-cleaned tuxedo, a bottle of cologne, etc. Treir watches him as he does.

    TREIR
    (heartfelt)
    Vic... I really am grateful to
    you for letting me stay. And
    you know, you really don’t have
    to sleep on the couch tonight. ​

    He gets her meaning, but he smiles warmly.

    VIC
    This ain’t that kind of rodeo,
    sweetheart. You don’t owe me a
    thing. Besides, a real gentleman
    doesn’t take advantage of a lady
    in need. That just ain’t how I
    was raised. Now you relax, get
    some rest, and I’ll be back
    after the show, okay? ​

    He’s got everything he needs now, so he nods a courteous goodbye and leaves the suite, closing the door behind him. Treir is surprised – a man actually turned her down? But it’s a nice surprise. She smiles, quite touched. What a rarity – a man who actually respects her.


    FADE OUT:


    END OF ACT TWO


    .
     
  5. lvsxy808

    lvsxy808 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2001
    Location:
    London
    ACT THREE


    FADE IN:


    13 EXT. DEEP SPACE NINE - ESTABLISHING

    Focusing on one particular shuttle craft sat on the docking ring...


    14 INT. DS9 – PROMENADE, UPPER LEVEL

    Looking from the crossover bridge down to the main door of Quark’s, we can see two security still standing sentry. At the upper level entrances, more security bodies stand guard, including Vulcan crewman SEVAK. Kira and Ro nod their acknowledgments as they approach.

    RO
    Any problems, crewman? ​

    SEVAK
    Negative, Lieutenant. ​

    Kira and Ro walk past and enter the bar, passing through a FORCE FIELD over the doorway as they go.


    15 INT. DS9 – QUARK’S BAR (CONTINUOUS)

    Walking along the upper corridor towards the holosuites...

    RO
    Any idea what this big surprise is? ​

    KIRA
    No idea at all. Vic’s message
    went out to the whole station.
    He just said everyone should
    come for the lunch time show. ​

    RO
    He’s still doing those tryouts? ​

    KIRA
    I guess so. ​

    They reach the holosuites. Kira checks the panel of one...

    KIRA
    Hmm... Taran’atar’s using that
    Vulcan meditation program again.
    I guess he’s taking Counsellor
    Matthias’s advice to heart.
    (correction)
    Hearts. ​

    RO
    (nod to the door)
    Maybe we should get Sevak to
    give him some pointers.
    (taps her
    own ear)
    Get it? Pointers? ​

    Groaning at the terrible joke, Kira moves to the next holosuite and presses the button to open the door.


    16 INT. VIC’S LOUNGE

    Kira and Ro enter, and blink in surprise to see a packed crowd. The bar is doing a roaring trade, and officers and civilians alike are milling about excitedly.

    RO
    Must be good, whatever it is. ​

    Vic emerges from out of the crowd, and approaches them.

    VIC
    Captain! Lieutenant! You’re
    just in time. ​

    KIRA
    For what? ​

    VIC
    You’ll see in...
    (checks watch)
    ...thirty seconds. ​

    And then he disappears back towards the stage. Nonplussed, Kira and Ro perch on stools at the bar. Having pushed through the crowd, Vic finally makes it to the stage. He takes the mic, and shushes the crowd.

    VIC
    Ladies and gentlemen, thank you
    all for coming. I have a very
    special treat for you today. I
    know you’ve all laughed your
    guts out at his side-splitting
    stories. You’ve all chatted the
    night away with him over drinks.
    Now, get ready for the hilarious
    stand-up comedy stylings of my
    friend and yours – Morn! ​

    Thunderous applause from the crowd. The lumpen barfly himself - MORN – strolls onto the stage, and with a welcome pat on the shoulder from Vic, takes over the mic.

    Surprised and thrilled, Kira and Ro clap enthusiastically.

    KIRA
    Oh, this should be good. ​

    Morn stands at the mic, gazing out at the crowd. Saying nothing. He stands and stares. And stares.

    Vic stands by the side of the stage, urging Morn on. Go on then – what are you waiting for?

    The crowd is wondering what’s going on. Why isn’t he saying anything?

    Ro and Kira glance to each other, worried and confused.

    MORN’S POV

    From up on stage, looking down at the waiting faces, gazing hopefully up at him, starting to get restless...

    BACK TO SCENE

    His mouth drops open and hangs loosely, his eyes wide and terrified. And then he turns and runs clean off stage.

    Unhappy buzz starts to spread through the crowd. Vamping for all he’s worth, Vic quickly steps back up to the mic.

    VIC
    Umm... ladies and gentlemen...
    we’re having some technical
    difficulties. Please enjoy the
    lounge, order a drink... I’m
    sure everything will be back
    on track in just a minute. ​

    Vic dashes off stage after Morn.

    KIRA
    Wow. Of all the people to get
    struck by stage fright... who’d
    have thought it would be Morn? ​

    On Ro and Kira’s bemused faces...


    17 INT. DS9 – TREIR’S QUARTERS

    Last seen in 8x21 “Lesser Evil.” The door opens, and Major Cenn pokes his head around the corner, his raised phaser leading the way. His eyes scan the room...

    CENN
    Clear. ​

    [LEFT]He walks fully into the room, as Treir follows him. Another Starfleet security officer waits outside in the corridor. Treir moves into the room – which is in just as appalling a state as Vic’s bedroom – and starts yanking clothes out of drawers and jamming them into her travelling bag. [/LEFT]

    TREIR
    I don’t normally need an armed escort
    just to pick out clean underwear. ​

    CENN
    I’m happy to do it. We never
    really get a chance to talk
    while you’re working. ​

    TREIR
    (amused)
    Yes, I noticed you didn’t raise
    too much of a protest to this
    particular assignment.
    (playful)
    Almost as if you had an
    ulterior motive...​

    Cenn blushes furiously, embarrassed. He’s crushing on her hard, and she knows it full well.

    CENN
    Umm... I... I... well...​

    She takes pity, and comes close, giving him an affectionate caress of the cheek. It’s almost instinctive to flirt.

    TREIR
    Don’t worry about it, Desca,
    sweetie. Now come on – give a
    girl a hand with her luggage. ​

    He breathes in her pheromones, and he’s completely at her mercy. He takes her travelling bag... but he hesitates.

    CENN
    (voice shaking)
    Treir, I was wondering...
    after all this is over... if
    you’d consider having dinner
    with me one night? ​

    She smiles, gives him the perfect gentle brush off without breaking his heart. She gets this every day.

    TREIR
    Oh, sweetie. I have no idea
    when this’ll be over, if ever.
    I tell you what... why don’t
    we wait a few days, see how
    things go, and then we’ll see. ​

    Cenn nods wholeheartedly, thrilled to grasp the tiny sliver of hope she’s dangling. That done, Cenn moves to exit, with phaser in one hand and Treir’s travelling bag in the other.


    18 INT. DS9 – QUARK’S BAR

    Normal afternoon crowd. Quark is behind his bar, turned to face the comm-screen in the back wall. We don’t necessarily need to see who he’s talking to.

    QUARK
    (to screen)
    Thanks. I owe you one. ​

    He signs off, then turns back to face the room, pleased with himself. Nog is standing at the bar, waiting to speak.

    QUARK
    If you’re about to make a slorg appear
    out of thin air, I’m not interested. ​

    NOG
    No. I just wanted to talk to you. ​

    QUARK
    What about? ​

    NOG
    About Treir. ​

    QUARK
    Stop right there. I’ve already
    had an earful from Ro. ​

    NOG
    Uncle, let me tell you a story.
    You remember last year, when we
    went home to Ferenginar? And I
    went to visit my moogie? I mean
    my real mother, not Leeta. ​

    QUARK
    Of course I remember. You don’t
    forget a cluster-frinx like that. ​

    NOG
    I didn’t really remember much
    about her – I was so young when
    we left home. And when I met her
    again... I couldn’t believe it.
    She was naked... she offered to
    chew tube grubs for me... she
    said she shouldn’t even be
    talking to me because I was a
    stranger to her. ​

    QUARK
    Sounds like the perfect Ferengi
    woman to me. ​

    NOG
    Exactly. And I couldn’t handle
    it. Growing up on this station,
    surrounded by independent,
    powerful women like Kira, Dax,
    Mrs O’Brien, Kasidy Yates... I
    got used to having strong women
    in my life. The Ferengi ideal
    of the submissive, housebound
    slave just seemed wrong. And I
    think you feel the same way. ​

    Quark turns away, not interested in hearing this.

    QUARK
    Now you’re being ridiculous. ​

    NOG
    Am I? You’ve lived here longer
    than I have. And who are the
    women you’ve been closest to
    in that time? A Cardassian. A
    Klingon. And now a Bajoran.
    None of those are particularly
    known for their passive and
    subservient females. ​

    Nog is making good points, and Quark doesn’t like it.

    QUARK
    That’s different. That’s fun.
    But the Rules are clear –
    females and finances don’t mix. ​

    NOG
    I bet you think females and
    engineering don’t mix either. But
    more than half my department
    heads are females. ​

    QUARK
    That’s your problem. Treir is
    my problem, and I don’t believe
    in equality for females. ​

    NOG
    I think you do. But you think
    you shouldn’t. That’s why you
    give her such a hard time. ​

    QUARK
    It’s a Rule, Nog. When you live
    by a set of Rules, you don’t
    just get to pick and choose
    which ones you stick to. ​

    NOG
    Of course you do! If one of
    those rules doesn’t make sense
    anymore, and getting rid of it
    would actually help you, then
    that’s what you do. It’s just
    a matter of making the best
    use of the resources you’ve
    got. Father realized that. The
    whole rest of Ferenginar has
    realized it. So why can’t you? ​

    Quark hates this. He knows Nog is right, but he’s fighting against it with everything he has. He turns and walks away, round the end of the bar and onto the main floor. Then he won’t have to listen anymore.


    19 INT. DS9 – PROMENADE

    On one of the benches periodically dotted along the length the Promenade – specifically the one closest to Quark’s – sits Malic. Casual, relaxed, legs crossed, just enjoying the fact that no-one can touch him.

    Further down the Promenade, Treir approaches, escorted by Cenn (still carrying her bag) and the other officer. Treir and Cenn tense as they notice Malic sitting there.

    CENN
    Ignore him. Nothing he can do. ​

    They keep walking, keeping a wary eye on Malic. They approach the door to Quark’s, where two more security still stand. But just before they pass through the door...

    MALIC

    calmly lifts his wrist to his mouth, and with a smug smile, speaks into a comm device.

    MALIC
    Energise. ​

    There’s a twinkling sound in the air as a transporter signal begins to form...

    CENN

    reacts instantly. He drops the bag and shoves Treir hard, pushing her through the doorway into Quark’s.

    TREIR

    passes through the force field, which fritzes across the door. One of the other security joins her and stands in front of her, keeps her safe.

    CENN

    is now standing right where Treir was, where the transport signal is forming. He begins to dematerialize...

    ECU

    on Cenn’s wrist – he’s wearing a metallic cuff separate from his uniform. Lights on the cuff flash...

    ...and the transporter signal gets distorted, interference getting in the way...

    ...and the transport finally gives up, Cenn resolidifying. The buzzing sound in the air is replaced with a small sonic boom as the transporter signal fails. Malic’s grin drops – he’s foiled.

    Treir pants, recovering from the shock and fear. Cenn and the other security stand firm, staring Malic down. Quark has seen the whole thing. He walks up to just inside the door of the bar, and shakes his head, gloating.

    QUARK
    Oh, Malic. Do you really think
    we’re that naïve? ​

    Malic stands, trying to make himself look taller.

    QUARK
    See that little trinket on Major
    Cenn’s wrist? That’s a transport
    inhibitor. Blocks any signal that
    isn’t pre-approved by station
    command. All the security folks
    wear them. One of Lieutenant
    Ro’s inventions.
    (beat)
    You remember Lieutenant Ro. The
    woman who sent you to prison,
    and beat both of your enforcers
    unconscious? ​

    Malic glares back. Quark reaches up and taps mid-air, making the force field fritz again.

    QUARK
    And this... this is a force field,
    so there’s no way to transport
    Treir from inside the bar either.
    And don’t bother trying to track
    the frequency - they change it
    every hour. In fact, I gotta
    say, this was a pretty weak
    effort all round, Malic. ​

    Still refusing to say a word, Malic just turns and begins to walk away. But Quark isn’t finished yet.

    QUARK
    Oh Malic... ​

    Gritting his teeth, Malic turns back...

    QUARK (cont)
    ...Just in case you do try
    and violate sovereign Ferengi
    territory anyway, you should
    probably know that I just got
    off the comm with my brother...
    (pointedly)
    ...the Grand Nagus. He’s sending
    three heavily armed Ferengi
    Marauders to the station to...
    protect his interests in this
    matter. And Malic... I really
    don’t think you want to be
    here when they arrive. ​

    Furious but trying not to show it, Malic turns and walks away. He’s going to get Quark for this.

    On Quark’s smug, victorious expression...


    FADE OUT:


    END OF ACT THREE


    .
     
    Last edited: Oct 10, 2011
  6. lvsxy808

    lvsxy808 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2001
    Location:
    London
    ACT FOUR


    FADE IN:


    20 EXT. DEEP SPACE NINE - ESTABLISHING

    The station at rest, but there are three D’Kora-class Ferengi Marauders positioned in a triangle around it (the large, crab-like Ferengi ships as seen in TNG). The smaller shuttle from earlier is still there too.

    RO (o.s.)
    This is getting out of hand. ​


    21 INT. DS9 – KIRA’S OFFICE

    Kira sits behind her desk, Ro in front of it.

    KIRA
    I never even knew the Ferengi
    had a military. ​

    RO
    Strictly speaking, they don’t.
    It’s more of a Merchant Navy.
    But that doesn’t mean we should
    underestimate them. ​

    KIRA
    How bad can it be? How are the
    Ferengi in any way threatening? ​

    RO
    You don’t know how far a DaiMon
    will go to protect his profits. And
    those ships can do serious damage
    if someone says it’s what the
    Nagus wants. ​

    KIRA
    And what about Malic? ​

    RO
    Hasn’t set foot off his shuttle
    in three days. ​

    KIRA
    Why doesn’t he just give up and
    go home? ​

    RO
    And lose face like that? No.
    He’s squatting in there, trying
    to figure out how much risk
    he’s willing to take over this. ​

    KIRA
    And the moment he does, Quark
    gives the order and we’ve got
    a shooting war.​

    RO
    We need another plan. ​

    They both sit back to think...


    CUT TO:


    22 INT. DS9 – KIRA’S OFFICE

    EZRI DAX appears on the comm screen set into the wall. She’s sat in her commander’s uniform on a generic Starfleet background, and is very cheerful and enthusiastic. Kira and Ro stand at the panel, chatting amiably.

    DAX (screen)
    Nerys! Great to hear from you.
    How’s the station? ​

    KIRA
    Ah, you know how it is. Always
    something. How’s the Luna? ​

    DAX (screen)
    Amazing. The kind of people
    they’ve got working here,
    Nerys... you wouldn’t believe
    it. My chief science officer
    is a Sulamid! All those eyes
    and tentacles everywhere...​

    KIRA
    Yikes. And I thought a Gallamite
    was bad enough. ​

    DAX (screen)
    There’s even supposed to be
    some Pakhwa-thanh signing on.
    Can you imagine? ​

    RO
    I’d love to have one of those
    on my security team. You see
    that barrelling down the corridor
    at you, you’ll never even dream
    of committing a crime again. ​

    DAX (screen)
    The tech is incredible too. Best
    sensors I’ve ever seen. I heard
    a rumour they’re working on
    adapting the engines to work
    with the quantum slipstream
    drive Voyager brought back. ​

    KIRA
    That’ll take years to be ready. ​

    DAX (screen)
    Don’t be so sure. Doctor Xin
    Ra-Havreii himself designed
    the prototype. He’s supposed
    to be a genius. ​

    RO
    So he tells everybody.​

    DAX (screen)
    So what can I do for you? I’m
    guessing you didn’t just call
    to gossip. ​

    Kira’s friendly grin falls. Down to business.

    KIRA
    I’m afraid not. Is this is a
    secure line? ​

    That surprises Dax. What’s going on? She taps a few keys on the panels in front of her.

    DAX (screen)
    It is now. ​

    KIRA
    I need to ask you a favour, Dax.
    And I’ll understand if you want
    to say no. ​

    DAX (screen)
    (worried now)
    Nerys, what is it? ​

    KIRA
    Your family, back on New Sydney.
    Do they still have connections...
    to the Orion Syndicate? ​

    Dax blinks, genuinely shocked at the question.


    23 INT. DS9 – QUARK’S BAR

    Quark is likewise talking to someone on the screens behind his bar – an angry Ferengi DaiMon, GROB.

    GROB (screen)
    Ambassador! How much longer are
    we expected to sit here doing
    nothing? Time is money! ​

    QUARK
    As long as the Nagus requires
    you to, DaiMon Grob. But I can
    assure you, the Nagus is very
    grateful to all the crew of the
    Flibb’s Folly for their help. He
    won’t forget your name. ​

    That’s enough to get Grob dreaming of vast profits.

    GROB (screen)
    Of course, of course! Whatever
    the Nagus needs! ​

    Now Grob leers lasciviously, licks his lips and strokes his lobe with his finger. It’s kinda gross.

    GROB (screen)
    So... where is this Orion slave
    girl we’re here to protect?
    I’ve always wanted to see one. ​

    QUARK
    She’s... otherwise occupied. ​

    Quark grins at Grob, and wiggles his eyebrows suggestively. Grob chuckles along, assuming it’s something dirty. But...


    24 INT. VIC’S LOUNGE

    DARKNESS... until a single spotlight appears, illuminating Treir alone at the microphone. She looks fabulous – elegant cocktail dress, sexy, confident, in total control. She begins to sing in a throaty, bluesy soul voice – the Peggy Lee classic, “Why Don’t You Do Right.”

    TREIR
    (singing)
    You had plenty money, 1922
    You let other women
    make a fool of you
    Why don’t you do right,
    like some other men do?
    Get out of here
    And get me some money too ​

    Looking at the crowd, they’re absolutely spellbound. Gazing up at Treir, the men are falling in love on the spot. But even the women are drawn in by the powerful woman on stage.

    TREIR
    (singing)
    You’re sittin’ down and wonderin’
    what it’s all about
    You ain’t got no money,
    They will put you out
    Why don’t you do right,
    like some other men do?
    Get out of here
    and get me some money too ​

    At the bar, more customers paying rapt attention. There’s Vic too, and he’s gazing up at her with just as much admiration as everyone else.

    TREIR
    (singing)
    If you had prepared
    twenty years ago
    You wouldn’t be a-wanderin’
    from door to door
    Why don’t you do right,
    like some other men do?
    Get out of here
    and get me some money too ​

    Nog sidles up to Vic, also loving the show. Vic looks down at him, shakes his head in amazement.

    TREIR
    (singing,
    background)
    I fell for your jivin’
    and I took you in
    Now all you got to offer me’s
    a drink of gin that stage.
    Why don’t you do right,
    like some other men do?
    Get out of here
    and get me some money too ​

    VIC
    Kid, that magic show of
    yours was just fine.
    (re Treir)
    But that... that’s real
    magic right there on I
    think I found my support act. ​

    Treir winds up to the end of her song, and as she does, she looks out into the crowd, making direct, unblinking eye contact with Vic. Vic can’t help but fall into her eyes.

    TREIR
    (singing)
    Why don’t you do right,
    like some other men do?
    Like some other men do.​

    The song ends, and the crowd goes wild with applause and cheers. But Treir only has eyes for Vic, and vice versa.


    25 INT. VIC’S HOTEL SUITE

    Dark, seductive lighting, late night. The door opens and Vic holds it open, allowing Treir to sweep into the room. She’s wearing a fur stole over her cocktail dress, and she is buzzing with excitement.

    TREIR
    That was so much fun! I don’t
    remember the last time I had
    that much fun. If ever. ​

    Vic closes the door, and then gentlemanly takes the stole from her. She allows it, with a flirtatious glance over her shoulder at him. He catches it and gulps with nervousness.

    Treir heads straight to the minibar while Vic hangs the stole on a coat rack. Treir grabs a champagne bottle and pops the cork. They both laugh as the bubbles overflow – Vic quickly grabs two glasses and catches the spill.

    VIC
    (laugh)
    Whoa! Watch the carpet! What
    are we celebratin’? ​

    TREIR
    A magical night... that’s only
    just begun. ​

    She clinks her glass to his and takes a sip. He does too, a bit shell-shocked.

    VIC
    You are one knockout up on
    that stage, sweetheart. You
    sure you never sung before? ​

    TREIR
    No, never. It must be your...
    (smile)
    ...expert tutelage. ​

    Smiling seductively, Treir begins to lead into the bedroom. She sits coquettishly on the edge of the bed, and turns to look at him. But it’s not the usual over-played seduction of a dabo girl. This is genuine, even a little nervous. Vic comes to the doorway into the bedroom. No further. He sees what she’s trying to do, but he won’t give in.

    VIC
    I’ll grab the spare sheets and
    pillows, and set up the couch. ​

    He turns away, but Treir plaintively calls after him.

    TREIR
    Vic... don’t go. ​

    VIC
    (sad smile)
    Treir, sweetheart... much as I
    appreciate the offer, I told
    you, I ain’t that kind of guy. ​

    He turns away again.

    TREIR
    Vic, please... just sit with
    me. That’s all. ​

    After a moment’s pause, he relents and comes and sits with her on the bed. No physical contact. She takes a deep breath and plucks up her nerves.

    TREIR
    Vic... I am grateful to you.
    For taking me in... for putting
    me on that stage tonight... for
    being the kind of man who won’t
    take advantage of a lady in
    need. I haven’t met many of
    those in my time.
    (beat)
    But I’m not doing this because
    I’m grateful. I’m not doing
    this because I think I have to.
    I know that with you, I don’t
    have to. But I want to. ​

    She looks at him, makes a genuine connection. She’s being completely honest here... and he’s responding to it.

    TREIR
    Every man on this station wants
    me. That’s not me being proud or
    conceited. It’s pure chemistry,
    Orion pheromones. They can’t
    help themselves.
    (quibble)
    Well, okay, not every man. But
    you know what I mean.
    (beat)
    But with you... it’s different.
    The pheromones have no effect. ​

    VIC
    Because I’m just a hologram. ​

    TREIR
    Don’t say it like that. It’s a
    wonderful thing. Because you’re
    more real to me than any of the
    others out there. And I’m real
    to you. When you look at me...
    like that... I know that you
    mean it. And that’s...​

    She can’t really explain how it makes her feel. Special. She puts her feelings into action. She reaches out gently, tentatively... and kisses him. He doesn’t pull away.

    The kiss grows, becoming more passionate...

    and we slowly ZOOM IN...

    and simultaneously DISSOLVE INTO...


    26 INT. VIC’S HOTEL SUITE

    Later – night. The room is dark, only the flashing lights of the hotel’s neon signs outside, coming through gently wafting lace curtains.

    Vic and Treir lie in bed together, tastefully naked. He’s fast asleep. She’s awake, propped up on one elbow, and watching him sleep with a warm, wistful smile. After a while, she gently and carefully manoeuvres herself out from under the covers (making sure that we don’t see anything).

    She steps across the room and grabs a negligee from a nearby hook, pulls it on. In the dim light, she turns and gazes at Vic’s sleeping form with genuine affection. She’s relaxed and truly happy.

    Then in a sudden shocking rush of photons, the entire scene dissolves around her as the holosuite switches off...


    27 INT. HOLOSUITE (CONTINUOUS)

    ...leaving her standing alone in her negligee on the bare holosuite grid. Before she has any chance to register her surprise and fear...

    ...two pairs of heavy green hands yank a cloth sack over her head and grab her hard. She SCREAMS...


    BLACK OUT:


    END OF ACT FOUR



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  7. lvsxy808

    lvsxy808 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2001
    Location:
    London
    ACT FIVE


    FADE IN:


    28 INT. DS9 – QUARK’S BAR

    Dim lighting – it’s after hours and the bar is closed. Muffled voices coming down the stairs precede Malic, leading his two thugs, who are manhandling the struggling Treir. She’s still in her negligee, with the sack over her head, pulled tight enough to stifle her terrified protests.

    MALIC
    (whisper)
    Come on! The power tap won’t
    hold for long. We need to be
    on the ship and away before
    they discover it. ​

    The two thugs drag Treir on. They approach the front door of Quark’s, nearly away scot free...

    ...And suddenly all the lights come up. Malic jumps in surprise and looks around...

    ...to see that Quark is standing behind him, in the centre of the bar.

    QUARK
    Too late. ​

    The thugs drop Treir in surprise, and she desperately staggers out of their way. She runs into Ro, who is just emerging from hiding behind one of the spiral staircases. Ro helps her, takes the sack off her head.

    Kira emerges from hiding too. Then Prynn. Then ETANA, RICHTER, MATTHIAS, AYLAM and any other female crew member we regularly see. Nog and Shar appear from near the door, where they’d been operating the lighting controls. Cenn is there too. Bowers. Hetik. Hell, let’s even throw Morn in for a laugh. They all join Quark in the middle of the room, making a line, confronting Malic.

    Malic panics. He turns to make a run for the door...

    ...when TARAN’ATAR unshrouds right in his path. Malic whimper-shrieks in fear, and retreats behind his two thugs. Even the thugs stare up at the Jem’Hadar in terror... and Taran’atar reaches out and calmly grabs both thugs’ heads, and bonks them together. They slump to the ground, out cold. Now Malic is alone.

    MALIC
    Alright! You got me! But you’ll
    never make it stick and you
    know it. I’ve got a finger in
    every pie in the quadrant. ​

    QUARK
    We don’t need to make it stick,
    Malic. We’ll always be here to
    stop you, whatever you do. Me...
    (gestures around)
    ...and all these females. ​

    MALIC
    If you ask me, it looks like
    they know their place - letting
    their man speak for them. ​

    QUARK
    They don’t need anyone to speak
    for them, least of all me. They
    set up this trap, and idiot that
    you are, you walked right in. ​

    Quark parades up and down in front of the line of people, pointing out each person as he refers to them.

    QUARK
    Taran’atar tailed you from the
    moment you left your shuttle.
    We knew exactly what you were
    up to. Nog and Shar found the
    power tap you installed, and
    faked the power cut so you’d
    think your plan had worked.
    Cenn, Bowers... took a break at
    exactly the right time to make
    it look like your way was clear.
    And they did it all under the
    orders of these females, because
    they know that these females are
    the equal of any male... and a
    lot better than some. ​

    MALIC
    Never! Females will never be
    the equal of males! You’re a
    Ferengi, Quark! I know you
    agree with me! ​

    QUARK
    Actually, no I don’t. ​

    He walks up to Treir, and looks up into her face. Doesn’t even check out the negligee.

    QUARK
    This woman is intelligent,
    powerful, and brave. She knew
    what was going to happen, and
    she put herself at risk to
    make sure you were stopped. ​

    Treir smiles shyly, a bit flattered. Quark turns back to Malic...

    QUARK (cont)
    She’s also as good at business
    as any male I’ve ever met. And
    I’m prepared to say it out loud,
    because I’m good at business
    too. I know how to make the
    best use of my resources, and
    that means acknowledging when
    I’ve got good employees. ​

    Malic tries to muster as much indignant rage as he can.

    MALIC
    Treir is not your employee,
    Quark! She’s my property! ​

    QUARK
    (simply)
    No, she’s not. She’s nobody’s property. ​

    Quark pauses, seeming to come to a decision with himself.

    QUARK
    In fact, as of... oh let’s say
    ten minutes ago, I officially
    accepted Treir as a citizen of
    the Ferengi Alliance, and you
    know what that means. According
    to current Ferengi law, females
    are equal to males in all things. ​

    Treir smiles victoriously at Malic. Quark enjoys Malic’s growl of frustration.

    QUARK
    It also means that you tried to
    kidnap a Ferengi citizen from
    sovereign Ferengi ground. That
    is a major diplomatic offense
    against the Ferengi Alliance,
    Malic. I’d be fully justified in
    ordering those three Marauders
    out there to open fire on your
    shuttle right now. ​

    Kira and Ro exchange a worried glance – exactly what they didn’t want. The tension is growing.

    MALIC
    You won’t fire. You’d never
    risk damaging this precious
    station of yours. ​

    QUARK
    Not a problem. They’ve had your
    engines and weapons targeted
    since they got here. And right
    now they’re manoeuvring into
    the perfect position to take
    you out without so much as a
    scratch to the station. ​

    Malic can’t take any more. He explodes with righteous anger and frustration.

    MALIC
    And then they’ll send an army
    to blow you all to pieces! You
    shouldn’t make an enemy of the
    Orion Syndicate, Quark. Don’t
    you know who I am? ​

    A pause, a moment of silence. Tense stand off.

    Then Quark bursts into gales of laughter, huge belly-laughs. Malic is surprised and confused, and not a little embarrassed at being laughed at in public. Gradually, Quark pulls himself under control.

    QUARK
    I’m sorry, I’m sorry. It’s just
    – did you actually just say,
    “Do you know who I am?” ​

    Quark laughs some more at the sheer absurdity.

    QUARK (cont)
    You’re nobody, Malic! The Orion
    Syndicate isn’t your personal
    revenge machine. Think about it.
    Why aren’t they here right now
    backing you up? Because they
    don’t want anything to do with
    you! You let yourself get sent
    to prison, you practically
    handed over vital Syndicate
    information to Starfleet...
    and you lost Treir. You’re an
    embarrassment to them, Malic.
    You’re nobody. ​

    Malic is quite shaken by this. He’s trying to maintain his hard edge, but he’s very aware that everyone is watching him. He tries one last attack.

    MALIC
    I’m nobody? Who are you? ​

    Quark straightens, puffs up like a peacock.

    QUARK
    I’m the Ambassador.
    (beat)
    Now get out of my bar and off
    my station, before I bring down
    the might of some extremely
    impatient DaiMons on your cute
    little shuttle. ​

    As far as Quark is concerned, it’s over. He turns away. Malic is beneath his notice. Kira steps forward.

    KIRA
    Taran’atar... would you please
    escort Mister Malic back to
    his shuttle. Just to make sure
    he doesn’t lose his way. ​

    TARAN’ATAR
    Certainly, Captain. ​

    Taran’atar reaches down, grabs the two unconscious Orion thugs by their collars and hoists them up as if they weighed nothing. Malic is duly impressed and terrified.

    TARAN’ATAR
    After you. ​

    Malic stumbles forward and out of the bar. Taran’atar follows, carrying the thugs with ease.

    The tension in the bar starts to release. The gathered people split up and go their way. Treir walks up to Quark and throws her arms around him in a big grateful hug.

    TREIR
    Thank you, Quark. Genuinely. ​

    Quark is quite happy with how things turned out. But of course he won’t say so.

    QUARK
    Go on. Get some sleep. ​

    She nods, and starts to head back up the stairs towards the holosuites. But Quark calls after her.

    QUARK
    And don’t think just because
    you were up late you can get
    away with being late for your
    shift in the morning. ​

    Treir smiles – she knows it’s just Quark being Quark.

    TREIR
    I won’t be. Night, Quark. ​

    And she heads off upstairs.


    29 INT. DS9 – DOCKING RING CORRIDOR

    Malic walks down the corridor, followed by his two thugs (who are now awake again), and finally by Taran’atar. Malic is scared of Taran’atar, and embarrassed by the events with Quark. But he’s trying his best to cover it with bravado. The thugs are just throwing nervous glances at Taran’atar.

    They turn the corner, and come to the airlock to the shuttle. Malic pauses, looks back at Taran’atar.

    MALIC
    We can take it from here. ​

    Taran’atar doesn’t have to say a word to make his thoughts on that clear. Frustrated and annoyed, Malic enters the airlock. Taran’atar stays out in the corridor.


    30 INT. DS9 – AIRLOCK (CONTINUOUS)

    Malic mutters to his thugs as they traverse the airlock...

    MALIC
    Say a word to anyone about any
    of this, and I’ll have you both
    killed in an instant. ​

    The thugs nervously nod their agreement. The three of them enter their ship...


    31 INT. MALIC’S SHUTTLE - BRIDGE

    An average, non-descript shuttle’s control centre. The door opens at the rear of the bridge, the thugs lead the way... and immediately find themselves faced with the barrels of two large and threatening phaser rifles. They jerk to a halt, Malic walks into the back of them...

    MALIC
    Oof! What are you doing, you
    brainless idiots...​

    Then he sees the guns. And the large random aliens holding them. He gapes with amazement.

    The elaborate captain’s chair is facing away from them... It slowly turns, revealing...

    BOKAR, the FARIAN Orion Syndicate agent from 7x11 “Prodigal Daughter.” He sits firmly in the captain’s chair.

    BOKAR
    Bad day, Malic? ​

    Malic is surprised and worried to see Bokar here. He steps forward, attempting to look brave and confident.

    MALIC
    Bokar... what are you doing here? ​

    BOKAR
    Oh, just some... unfinished business. ​

    Bokar stands from the chair, and strides calm and confident towards Malic. Bokar’s enforcers make sure to keep their weapons trained on Malic’s thugs.

    BOKAR
    A former client of ours on
    New Sydney was kind enough
    to inform us that you were
    out of prison, and making a
    nuisance of yourself here on
    Deep Space Nine. Consequently,
    I have been tasked by the
    Syndicate with...
    (searches for
    the word)
    ...“reconnecting” with you. ​

    MALIC
    It wasn’t my fault, Bokar. I
    was tricked by those aliens, by
    those damned Ferengi, by that
    damned female...​

    BOKAR
    (waves it away)
    The Syndicate isn’t interested
    in your issues with women, Malic.
    What the Syndicate is interested
    in, is failure. If there’s one
    thing the Syndicate disapproves
    of, Malic... it’s failure. ​

    Bokar feigns nakedly insincere concern for Malic, who tries his best to hide the shudder of fear...


    32 INT. DS9 – QUARK’S BAR

    The excitement is over, most of the people have gone. As the last few leave, Ro steps up to Quark. He looks up at her, wondering what horrors she’s about to send his way...

    QUARK
    What is the problem now? ​

    After a pause, she leans down and places a soft, tender kiss on his brow. Then she turns and walks to the door, leaving him a bit confused.

    QUARK
    Laren...​

    She turns back to him.

    QUARK
    I didn’t do this to impress you. ​

    RO
    I know. And that’s what makes
    it even more impressive. ​

    With a smile, she turns and leaves.

    Ending on Quark’s bemused but happy face...


    FADE OUT:


    END OF SHOW


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  8. Gul Re'jal

    Gul Re'jal Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2010
    Location:
    Gul Re'jal is suspecting she's on the wrong space
    :guffaw:

    But Taran'atar, suddenly unshrouding, can scare everyone to death ;)

    That was an interesting episode. Seeing the Ferengi and the Orion Syndicate almost going to war over an Orian dabo girl...even if it's inaccurate description, it sound's...fascinating ;)

    I'm a little disappointed that Vic got bedded by Treir in the end.

    But it was refreshing to see Ferengi "military" again; even with that gross DaiMon :lol: Their navy seemed to be forgotten in DS9.
     
  9. lvsxy808

    lvsxy808 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2001
    Location:
    London
    Disappointed? Why? I thought that was rather sweet.

    .
     
  10. Gul Re'jal

    Gul Re'jal Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Jun 28, 2010
    Location:
    Gul Re'jal is suspecting she's on the wrong space
    Because in the end even Vic got under her spell and turned out not to be so gentlemanly he'd appeared to be. He did not abuse her or anything, but he became just like those hordes of guys all over the station who were drunk with her pheromones. I thought he was better than that.

    I thought that his resisting till the end would be something different in the light of literally everyone else falling for her. Everyone wants her, but she doesn't want them. And she can't have the one she wants. Ha! Know how it feels! ;) But it didn't happen; Vic likes green too.
     
  11. Sandoval

    Sandoval Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Jul 21, 2010
    I've never really understood the point of writing stript-based fanfiction such as this. It seems to me that a script is simply a means to an end, an intermediate step that allows a story to be transferred to the screen.

    Writing scripts that will obviously never be used as such (actors reading the lines in front of an audience or cameras) seems a bit pointless.

    I can understand that it is far simpler to write a story in script form rather than writing an actual piece of prose, but somehow writing scripts that will never be filmed has an air of futility about it.
     
  12. lvsxy808

    lvsxy808 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2001
    Location:
    London
    Well, that's certainly not how I intended it. To me, he was holding off because, even though he was interested, he was afraid she was only hitting on him because she thought it was expected of her, as a kind of payment for letting her stay over. Once he had confirmation that she really was as interested in him as he was in her, why wouldn't he go for it? Whatever else may be true, she's still a beautiful woman. And the fact that he thought so without any influence by "OMG alien sex hormones!!!1!!eleven" made it all the more real.

    The point was supposed to be that he's specifically not like all the other guys drunk on her pheromones, and that's why she goes for him. They're both the fantasy figures of other people, and that's part of why they fall for each other.

    The reason I started on scripts is that it began as adapting the DS9-R books. To learn the form, and entertain myself, and imagine that they were indeed new episodes. This is just a continuation of that, now that the DS9-R seems to have fizzled out.

    .
     
  13. Wally

    Wally Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2009
    Didn't even think about Vic being a 'gentleman' angle. I was more entertained that this slick guy who always knew exactly what do in in everyone else's relationship and how to deal with women, was himself caught flat-footed with one.
    Also quite interesting that Vic is getting so much 'screentime' these days, when he had been virtually ignored in the DS9-R.

    It's also nice that Quark finally was able to do something with his ambassadorship.

    I do enjoy the stand-alones, but can't help wondering when the Ascendant storyline might be taken off. I probably would be more patient if the DS9-R hadn't teased it for YEARS before finally, apparently, dropping it and just skipping ahead to the Destinyverse.
     
  14. Gul Re'jal

    Gul Re'jal Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Gul Re'jal is suspecting she's on the wrong space
    I hope I manage to finish "Millennium" before the Ascendants appear here not to get any spoilers. I'm finishing Book 2.
     
  15. lvsxy808

    lvsxy808 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2001
    Location:
    London
    That's exactly the reason I came up with this episode. I wanted a Quark story, and I thought, "So he's been the Ambassador for a year now... what does he actually do? We haven't seen him doing anything Ambassadorial." He offered "diplomatic services" to someone one time, but without specifying what those services are. So I wanted an episode about that, and what I came up with was "give someone asylum for some reason." Everything else flowed from that.

    And I just love the gag about Morn still not saying anything on screen because he gets stage fright. That had been built in from the start. Ro's lame joke about "pointers" just came to me as I was writing it.

    I'm getting there, I'm getting there! In fact, I've been laying some seeds for things that will come to flower later and play into the Ascendant storyline when it arrives.

    Which it will.

    .
     
  16. Gul Re'jal

    Gul Re'jal Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Gul Re'jal is suspecting she's on the wrong space
    Oh, I forgot about that. When reading that part I though, "Noooo, he's going to ruin Morn!" But no, that didn't happen :D

    I actually laughed at Ro's terrible joke :guffaw:
     
  17. lvsxy808

    lvsxy808 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2001
    Location:
    London
    I believe it was Marco Palmieri who once said, "Some things are sacred."

    You won't catch the Rio Grande getting destroyed in any of my stories either. :)

    .
     
  18. Paper Moon

    Paper Moon Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2011
    So I know I'm late to the party right now, but I needed to chime in...

    I'm really really enjoying reading your scripts, lvsxy808. I love my DS9-R and TNG-R and all the other TrekLit we've got these days– but Star Trek is best done in one or two hour long TV episodes. And these scripts capture that really well.

    Reading these make me feel like I'm watching the original DS9 episodes over again for the first time. Except the stories are different, and, for the most part, I don't know what's coming next. That's a great feeling.

    One thing, in particular, that I like about this format is that it allows for "light" stories like "Property Values." In the novels, we don't get these brief interludes (most of the time). The novels are like DS9's story arcs, like the Final Chapter, written in prose. Lots of Big Deal Things happening, with little narrative time available for stuff that isn't universe-shattering. I really enjoyed how "Property Values," and "Steppin' Out," were completely self-contained, but still tied into larger narratives. Great stuff.

    Specific to "Property Values": (spoilers ahead, obviously!)
    -I liked Vic and Treir sleeping together. They both deserved it, and I think it was handled well.
    -Nog's speech to Quark, convincing him that he really believed in female equality, rang very true to what would have been done in the original show.
    -the confrontation of Malic was perfect. It felt, to me anyway, like those great ensemble moments like the last scene of "Take Me Out to the Holosuite," or the scene on the Promenade from "Badda-Bing, Badda-Bang." Again, great stuff.
    -I enjoyed the use of the Ferengi "Merchant Navy," and the subtle, but appreciated, fleshing-out thereof.

    Comments on a few other episodes, included here for convenience (I hope you don't mind, I just figured it was better to necro one thread instead of several; I can edit, copy-and-paste and repost if you prefer):

    -"The Dream Box": Oh. My. God. This. Was. Freak. Ing. Awesome. Ghemor's assassination (differently than I had expected!). "Unkee Ga'ak" (!!), paralleled with Mev's demise. The very convincing depiction of Cardassia's re-descent into Hell. The way the almost completely unrelated teaser ties into the penultimate scene. I think this would have been one of my favorite DS9 episodes, had it been produced.

    -"Instinct": Though a very solid follow-up to "The Dream Box," I find this episode aesthetically displeasing. Don't get me wrong, the story is excellent. O'Brien's behavior is all-too-believable, and Kira's, though I personally find it a little less believable, is also very plausible. The problem is that two characters acting stupid but in-character is still two of my favorite characters (particularly O'Brien) acting very (understandably) stupid. So that was less enjoyable. Still, great moments: Ambassador Taran'atar at the negotiating table (actually, that whole scene), Kira playing with Yoshi, Nog dressing down O'Brien. (Though, on the topic of "things sacred," I think you may have broken the rules, showing Bashir and O'Brien in the holosuite! :p)

    -"Deep Down": Loved the parallelism of the three characters having nightmares. The teaser was great, and really foreshadows what we will see in Zero Sum Game very well. I must admit, I am not entirely convinced that Bashir would react quite as immaturely to his bad dreams as he does in the episode, but I suspect that that may arise from just reading descriptions of what's going on. I bet that if I saw (visually, not verbally) Bashir being as drained by the lack of sleep he was under, I would find it easier to believe.

    -"Easy Come, Easy Go": The meaning of this episode's name did not hit me until about 2/3 of the way through. And I realized, oh snap, she's not pulling any punches! Real mid-season cast changes! Holy crap! But seriously, it was a great realization. Bringing Shar back (though sort of inconsistent with Paths of Disharmony, though I think you can retcon it by fudging the years...), bringing Taran'atar back and Vannis in, great ideas. Opaka leaving: :( But I feel like you have exciting things in store for her. :) (Side note: loved the developments between Shar and Prynn; very believable and very tastefully done.) And then the kicker: getting rid of Ezri. Full disclosure (brief rant ahead): I really don't care for Ezri. She was okay on the show, but has gotten less and less okay as time went on. The way she treated Bashir in Unjoined, in particular, teared it for me. And I don't like what she's become either. Shrugging off Picard in Destiny = the sign of an idiot, in my books. Way too smug and full of herself, for my tastes. And the way she acts in this episode does nothing to soften my opinion. She knew the announcement of her transfer was going to be announced soon, and she should have told Julian in private beforehand. "There was never the perfect time," is a lame, lame excuse. So you tell him at an imperfect time, Ezri. Grow up. [rant over] I found it poignant that no one came to say good-bye to Ezri at the end; kind of a DS9 ritual, seeing people off at the airlock. Very telling, and very believable that no one comes.

    -"Blank Slate": I liked this. Seeing some of those missing gaps in Ro's story was really great. And seeing Quark treat her so, well, tenderly, was great as well. It felt like a little bit of the story was missing, though. Like the story skipped from 80% completion to 90%, right before Ro gets "all better." Felt like there should have been a little more there. I suspect some of this was the cost of the (totally necessary) attention paid to Taran'atar's storyline. I thought Ro's return to hypo-dependence was well-done, if more than a little bit depressing. Again, though, it felt a touch contrived: is Ro going back to it because of all the horrors in her past that she's reexamining? It felt like there was a small piece of the puzzle missing.

    and lastly (for tonight– I've binged on these, and I need to go to sleep!):

    -"Steppin' Out": I love this episode. I have a soft spot for Vic episodes, and this one is very well done. A perfect example of why people should still keep writing Trek scripts. This story has a punch to it, a very well-executed building drama and a very satisfying pay-off. I think I actually cheered the first time I read the part where Bashir gives Vic the emitter. And Vic's fantasy DS9 is an excellent twist, and very plausible given the development of the character.

    Have I made clear how much I'm enjoying these and how much I'm looking forward to reading the rest? :D

    Side question that you need not feel obligated to answer: would you mind posting the "episode lists" for seasons 8 and 9, possibly describing in appropriately general terms what parts of each novel went into each episode? I'm really curious how you divided them up (or squeezed them into one episode, like "A Stitch in Time" [!!!] or "Rising Son"). Obviously I understand the need to respect the original authors' works, but I feel like you could show how you split them up without it being a problem.

    My apologies if you have already done that elsewhere, and, of course, I'd completely understand if you didn't feel good about doing that.
     
  19. lvsxy808

    lvsxy808 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 29, 2001
    Location:
    London
    Oh my god oh my god oh my god!

    Such a wonderful in-depth post that I spent about an hour replying to... and then pressed the wrong button and lost the whole thing. I nearly killed myself.

    I'll try to remember what I wrote...

    I'm very grateful that you went to such extent to reply, it's very gratifying. :techman:

    "For the most part" ? :evil:

    I am trying to set up for some of things we see later in Rough Beasts, in the same way TNG's A Time to... series set up Nemesis.

    I agree that DS9-R has been a bit heavy, considering that DS9 itself has the highest comedy-to-drama ratio of all the shows. I tried to bring the light back a bit, which is easier with an episodic format. There are two more comedy-ish episodes to come from where you're at.

    It's a nice pairing, isn't it? Two fantasy characters who find each other more real than anyone else.

    I'm quite proud of that one myself - pointing out Quark's own contradictions in a way he can't deny. He's gradually got more hew-mon like in his treatment of females, but he doesn't like that about himself, because it conflicts with his strongly held Ferengi values. And I don't think anyone but Nog could point it out to him in quite that way.

    Big grin! :D

    It's one of my faves too. I love that Garak is bouncing Yoshi on his knee and playing space-shuttle with him at the beginning of the episode, and killing a man with his bare hands at the end, but it's all Garak. The crazy thing is that Jartek actually thought he was doing what was best for Cardassia. He's not evil, he just miscalculated horrendously. About the teaser - I hadn't originally intended on returning to it for the last scene. But as I came to write it, I realised it was perfect, as if my subconscious had been planning it all alone.

    Bless him, he's just so out of his depth, but still trying. And then he's got L'Haan whispering in his ear the whole time too...

    You know, it never occurred to me that with all of O'Brien and Bashir's holosuite adventures, we never actually saw them just heard them. I didn't even realise i was breaking a taboo with this. Sorry!

    I get the feeling Bashir thinks nightmares are juvenile, that he should be past that, even associates it with his pre-enhancement childhood state. I think that's why he's so determined to find a scientific explanation for the dreams, because to admit he has bad dreams would be embarrassing. In an attempt to prove he's not a child any more, he ends up acting more childish than ever.

    I do feel like this is a "director's episode" where a lot of what I'm trying to convey would depend on the director finding the right shots to create the right atmosphere.

    I wasn't sure anybody ever got that title! Glad to see somebody did.

    But... umm... I'm a boy. Last time I checked anyway. :alienblush:

    Inconsistent with PoD and ZSG, yes I know. But I had stories I wanted to write for both of them, and there was enough wiggle room to get away with it. I hope.

    Interesting... another poster said that she thought I wrote Ezri really well, because she didn't like her on the show and she didn't like her in my stories either. So at least I was being consistent! But I really do think Ezri has that bratty, petulant aspect to her character in a way Jadzia never did. You're right - since she started integrating her past lives more, the arrogance and hubris has grown. It's an interesting direction to take the character, and I wonder if they're doing it deliberately.

    I'm a little worried I've actually been emphasising that aspect of Quark a bit too much. But it's nice to see that he does genuinely care for her, even if nothing's ever going to come of it.

    Keep reading. :evil:

    Everyone seems to love this one! It was the first to pass 1000 view on Ad Astra!

    Done it - here and here.

    And thanks again for such thoughtful responses. It's very much appreciated.

    .
     
  20. Paper Moon

    Paper Moon Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Oct 28, 2011
    My pleasure!

    Yeah, you caught on to what I meant; there are certain things that I know will (in all likelihood) eventually happen:
    Kira becoming a vedek, Dax leaving (for good), Bashir staying, Rom remaining Grand Nagus, Ro commanding the station, etc.

    Ooh, yay! Looking forward!

    Hadn't thought of it that way myself, but I agree. (It does bring up the interesting question of the, hmm, completeness of Vic's program... ;))

    The novels, and now your scripts, have continued Quark's story arc in a very interesting way. I enjoy how he gets to throw his weight around as ambassador; gives him the prestige/power/recognition I think he's always wanted, but in a different way than he expected. And the continuing evolution of his attitude towards women is completely believable the way it's depicted here.

    I see what you mean about Jartek. I think there is something to be said for the notion that all evil derives from horrendous miscalculations– but that is a discussion for another day. I did like how Jartek's intentions do appear to be good in the long run, and it's interesting how Garak continues the cycle of violence in order to punish Jartek for basically doing the same. Looking forward to reading your adaptation of "The Calling"; I read it recently, and was disappointed. Didn't seem to really be a Star Trek story, so I look forward to seeing how you clarified it.

    Question/theory: could the Vinculum be related to the wormhole and the Orbs? The way the Vinculum experience was written makes it sound a bit like an Orb experience. And we're seeing lots of Bajor-Cardassia parallels being unearthed...

    I loved how Taran'atar was using his keen perceptions to pick up on people's body language. Adaptation at work!

    Nah, no biggie. I don't think it reaches the level of taboo, and anyway, I think it makes a statement the way you did it. It's almost like, "Hey, things just aren't the way they used to be, no matter how hard we try." You couldn't have done that scene outside of the holosuite for that very reason. :)

    Hmm, yeah, I can buy that. Particularly in the light of "Cathedral." (Perhaps there could be some visual callbacks to that episode during his dream sequences?)

    Totally agree. That was what I was trying to say, but failed. :p

    Haha, yeah, I'm really sorry about that. It was after 3am over here when I was writing that. I knew your name was "Martyn," too! No brains...


    Yeah, I agree that you write Ezri well. I think it's a logical extension of the character as we saw her on the show (too young and inexperienced to be joined). Despite the revelation that it is biologically possible to join 50% of Trills, it seems clear to me that it's not psychologically sound to do so. Ezri is exhibit A.
    It doesn't seem that way to me. Quark has a very long character arc, and I think this "tenderness development" is perfectly in line with that.


    Ha, already have! Half-way through 10x11! I must admit, I'm really not crazy about the Ro-gets-addicted-to-painkillers idea; it's extremely plausible and very well done, there's just something that I find... extremely depressing about it. (Moreso than anything else I've read/seen in Trekdom.) Can't quite explain it.

    Thank you! Very cool.

    My pleasure! I will post more responses in the main discussion thread after I've read more!