DS9 Caption Contest 98: Hell to the Chief

Discussion in 'Deep Space Nine' started by Smellincoffee, Aug 17, 2014.

  1. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

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    Heart of Dixie
    This week we tackle the man who was dumped on so much through the seven-year run that they had to include waste reclamation in the station's design. He never broke, though -- wife possessed, child abducted by a time cave? At least there's Brazilian coffee, double-strong and double-sweet. Before we visit his misadventures, though, here are the best from Bashir's shenanigans.

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    And finally...
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    And now, the man the writers loved to abuse, Miles Edward O'Brien! LET HIM HAVE IT!

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  2. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    O'BRIEN: This game's bollocks. Let's go play cricket.

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    O'Brien should have stayed away from the brown acid.
     
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  3. bbjeg

    bbjeg Admiral Admiral

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    Right here buddy.
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    O'Brien: I swear if Rom says that tenors joke one more time...
    Rom (off screen): ...Get it? The team that plays after us...
     
    Last edited: Aug 17, 2014
  4. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    O'BRIEN: We're over a century off. Can you imagine two bigger idiots?

    LENNY & SQUIGGY: Hello!
     
  5. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    BASHIR: You know the logical way to prove Vulcans are better than humans? Baseball!
    O'BRIEN: Quiet. If Vulcans think they've proven they're better than us they'll leave us alone when we go cure plagues and save the entire quadrant from Borg assimilation and Dominion slavery.

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    O'BRIEN: I'm detecting toxic levels of THC in the atmosphere. It must be the 60s.

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    7 WORST WEATHER DISASTERS AFFECTING STAR TREK ACTORS IN 2014 (SHOCKING)

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    QUARK: Chief...Tell Odo...I love...him...

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    O'BRIEN: Even my clones get tortured?
     
  6. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Couldn't resist improving my previous submission.

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  7. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    The visitor's bullpen
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    Bashir: So let me get this straight. It's the 24th century, and still nobody's figured out the Infield Fly Rule?

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    Kira: Don't look now, Chief, but there's a Fear Clown and a Ferengi behind you.

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    O'Brien: You see? I was right all along! That cloud totally looks like a giant space hippopotamus! I CALLED IT!

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    Quark: You will find my secret stash of latinum in the cargo bay marked...aaaaaaaaaarrrrgh. (dies)

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    O'Brien: I don't believe it. You dragged me a dozen light years away from DS9 just to talk about Amway?!?!?
     
  8. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    The DS9 Repertory Playhouse presents "Romeo and Juliette"
     
  9. Schistocerca

    Schistocerca Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Sunderland
    Thanks for the win
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    Julian: Miles is there something wrong with your arm? You have kept it over your chest all afternoon.
    Miles: Garak made these baseball shirts right? Well he and I have had our differences in the past.
    Julian: Ok but what does that have to do with your arm over your chest?
    Miles: Well all your shirts may say Niner.....but mine says Boner!
     
  10. Schistocerca

    Schistocerca Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    After passing out drunk from drowning his sorrows after loosing big time at the dabo table, Quark was roughly roused by O'Brien.
    Quark: What....what do you...want?
    O'Brien: I just overheard a report from Odo that Quark's piston broke in his bar so I thought I'd better come down and repair it!
     
  11. Schistocerca

    Schistocerca Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Al: Well Sam, according to Ziggy you have leapt into the body of someone called Kira Nerys!
    Sam Beckett: Oh boy!
     
  12. T'Girl

    T'Girl Vice Admiral Admiral

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    T'Girl
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    Bashir: So let me get this straight. The shirts don't refer to the size of our penis'

    O'Brien: They do, but in centimeters

    Bashir: Damn the metric system

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    O'Brien: Okay you unwashed savages, let me go and I'll bring back the sun.

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    Quark: Okay, but no tongue.

    :lol:
     
  13. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
    Thanks for the win! :bolian:

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    O'Brien: The A's traded Cespides? Don't they know he's a fan favorite?

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    O'Brien: Sorry, Major. Your earring's not in this time period either.

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    O'Brien: Once upon a time, there was an episode of Deep Space Nine that was a cautionary tale for Trek writers until "Threshold."

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    Odo: No, no. You're doing it wrong. Put your back into it.

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    O'Brien and O'Brien 2: I have a clone? He's the clone. What you mean, 'He's the Clone?'

    Sisko: It's a good thing one of you is going to die in about 30 seconds.
     
  14. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

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    Bashir: Wait, shouldn't there be horses?

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    O'Brien: I said Scotch. NEAT.
     
  15. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Quebec City
    O'BRIEN: We're not playing water polo, this is field hockey.
     
  16. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

    Joined:
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    On the Citadel or The TrekBBS Armada Starbase
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    O'Brien: Do you think it would be cheating?

    Bashir: Yes.

    O'Brien: Oh, come on.

    Bashir: You can't program the transporter to beam our pitches directly past the batter into the strike zone!

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    Quark quickly realized his "Arm Wrestling for free drinks" promotion was a major mistake.
     
  17. Schistocerca

    Schistocerca Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    This is not what I meant when I suggested we used cloud storage!!!
     
  18. Schistocerca

    Schistocerca Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    O'Brien: Well we could have afforded the new photon torpedoes if you hadn't blown the budget on fancy doors!
     
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  19. Schistocerca

    Schistocerca Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Miles: Well there is one good thing about playing this archaic game.
    Julian: Oh yes, what's that?
    Miles: These baseball caps are perfect for hiding our bald spots!
     
  20. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Finn
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    *iPhone 5S rings*

    Braga: Hey Rick

    Berman: Brannon, it has been ages

    Braga: You won't believe this. I caught this Deep Space Nine episode. One of those Torture Miles stories.

    Berman: The one where he was in a mind jail?

    Braga: No, where he was a clone


    Berman: oh...

    Braga: Know what came to mind?

    Berman: Harry Kim?

    Braga: Yeah, have the clone Harry get promoted before the clone dies

    Berman: Yeah! That would have awesome!