DS9 Caption Contest 86: A Lost Cause

Discussion in 'Star Trek: Deep Space Nine' started by Ln X, Dec 27, 2013.

  1. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    I hope you all enjoyed the last caption contest, and since this is the festive season there will be a few extra winners. For those who didn't win; blame the Grinch.

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    The multi-caption winners (and I picked this one purely because it has my favourite LOTR urak-hai line);


    Finally -- in the name of festive spirit -- here are a couple of honourable runner-up captions worthy of the Celestial Temple.


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    And now, MOAR pictures for captioning!

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    Good luck and enjoy the remainder of the holidays!
     
  2. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Garak: You know this is probably the only time a Cardassian and a Founder will dine together.

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    Weyoun: DO NOT harm The Sisko's son!
    Jem'Hadar 1: The Sisko? That sounds like a God.
    Jem'Hadar 2: Which is blasphemy! The only Gods are the Founders.
    Weyoun: Oh crap.

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    Bashir: Now Worf, I know you don't like role-playing and I know you like Cardassians even less, but you WILL enjoy yourself. Captain's orders.

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    Sisko: No Dax, I don't need another one of you humorous anecdotes right now!

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    Sisko: You may hate each other's guts but at least keep this civil before the war- I mean after the mission.
     
  3. Bad Thoughts

    Bad Thoughts Commodore Commodore

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    Odo: I can nurse this coffee for hours while I use the cafe's wi-fi and stare at the baristas.
     
  4. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

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    BASHIR: I'm quite sure I said black formal wear. We aren't waiters!

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    ODO: Actually, the coffee and the cup are also me.

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    JAKE: What about freedom of the press? The people have questions and they need answers!

    WEYOUN: You're free to pick up a list of approved questions and their answers at the Information Center on deck three.
     
  5. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    ODO: So I've taken to pretending to drink my own plasma. I'm sure it'll make you solids less uncomfortable around me.

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    GEM'HADAR: How did you know about Agent Willie Mays?!

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    BASHIR: Dax is in this? Computer, is this program based on the theatrical cut of the movie, or the unrated cut?
    COMPUTER: Theatrical cut.
    BASHIR: Damn it.

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    MICHAEL DORN: Damn. I used to think MY makeup was bad.
     
  6. shivkala

    shivkala Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Thanks for the win!

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    Odo: I can literally eat myself!

    Garak: Enabrain Tain said there'd be days like this.

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    Jake: Okay, we'll put "Dear Abby" back into the Federation News. Who knew the Jem'Hadar enjoyed reading her advice?

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    Bashir: White? After Labor Day?!

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    Sisko: Look, Dax, when I asked, "Are you ladies going down on me?" it was a Freudian Slip, really!

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    Worf: I just don't know how to quit you.
     
  7. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    ^ Oh that's just so wrong.... :rommie:
    TFTWs Ln X!

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    Garak: Please don't do the sausage and eggs bit.
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2013
  8. bbjeg

    bbjeg Admiral Admiral

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    Odo: Really, a bib? It's simple, the food and drink goes in your mouth.
    Garak: I may be neat when I'm at work but during meals I make no promises.

    Or...

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    Odo: I excrete myself into this cup and then drink it.
    Garak: I'm going to find another seat.

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    Weyoun: Stand down. I think I can take him.

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    Sisko: I know you're into militant women but can you cut back on the flirting. You're harassing Kira.

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    Sisko: It's not the size of the ridge that matters, it's how you use it.
     
    Last edited: Dec 28, 2013
  9. Bad Thoughts

    Bad Thoughts Commodore Commodore

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    Worf: I will pop you like I popped that wind dancer from Parallax colony.
     
  10. Ríu ríu chíu

    Ríu ríu chíu Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Mr. Laser Beam is in the visitor's bullpen
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    Sisko: Whichever one of you blinks first, has to eat a five course meal cooked by Keiko.

    Jem'Hadar: ...I am dead. As of this moment, we are all dead.

    Worf: Veggie loaf has no honor!

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    Odo: They replaced the fine coffee the Replimat normally serves with Federation Folgers Crystals! :barf:

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    Weyoun: You see, Jake? We know more about human customs than you think. For instance, I believe this is your ancient custom of Kung Fu Fighting. Pretty convincing, aren't we?
     
  11. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Jem'Hadar: Victory is life.
    Worf: It is a good day to die.
    Sisko: It's reeeeeeeal!
    ...
    Sisko: What?


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    Garak: It is just amazing.
    Odo: My drink trick?
    Garak: That Kira doesn't drop you like a horta turd.
    Odo: I know, right?


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    Weyoun: Jake, remember what Han Solo told C3PO when he was beating a Wookie at 3D chess?
    Jake: Mesa getten berry, berry scared?
    Weyoun: You are dead to me.
     
    Last edited: Dec 29, 2013
  12. Ríu ríu chíu

    Ríu ríu chíu Fleet Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Weyoun: Gentlemen, gentlemen! Let's not be hasty! I'm sure Jake had no idea he insulted you just now.
    Jake: You mean when I said "Your heads resemble diseased concrete"?
     
  13. Bad Thoughts

    Bad Thoughts Commodore Commodore

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    Sisko: Dax, you cannot threatened to use your Bat'leth to make extra holes for Bajoran earings.
    Dax: She's been whistling "Dude Looks Like A Lady" around me all day.
    Kira: If that's a problem, I'll switch to "Polythene Pam."
     
  14. Ancient Mariner

    Ancient Mariner Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Seven hours, thirty-two minutes and seventeen seconds: The precise moment when Sisko realized how foolish he was to volunteer as a referee the in the Inter-Quandrant Staring Contest Finals.
     
  15. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    Odo:.. And since the cup and the coffee are only extensions of myself, I can make the coffee be Starbucks and not pay way too much for it...


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    Weyoun: Stop! I'm sorry, Mister Sisko, the Jem'Hadar take offense at the suggestion that their weapons are modified props from the second season.


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    Siddig: Sorry they didn't choose you to be the "Bond" of the episode Michael, but you've gotta admit that "Bashir, Julian Bashir" sounds better than "Mogh, Worf son of Mogh."

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    Sisko: Ops.

    Kira: Weapons Locker.

    Dax: Promenede.

    Sisko: (thinking) I need to stop getting into turbolifts with these two.
     
  16. Bad Thoughts

    Bad Thoughts Commodore Commodore

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    Michael: Sid 1, Dorn 100. Shall we compare salaries?
     
  17. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Odo: For added verisimilitude, I can even duplicate a roofie bouncing around inside my glass.

    Garak: Minus the ill effects, of course?

    Odo: Of course! <drinks, passes out onto floor>


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    Weyoun: Halt! The Founders have decreed this corridor a "Do the Twist" zone.
    Jake: I would be indignant if it weren't just so sad.
     
  18. CorporalClegg

    CorporalClegg Admiral Admiral

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    Land of Enchantment
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    For these two pessimists, the glass is always empty.



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    The Founder is changing. Trust us. You don't want to go in there.



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    Replace baccarat with poker? Worf, you can't be serious. Who would ever do such a thing?



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    Dax thinking: I knew I shouldn't have had that last piece of hasperat.



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    SISKO: No, no, no. The lizard poisons Spock.

    JEM'HADAR: Who is Spock?
     
  19. Happy Xmas (War Is Over)

    Happy Xmas (War Is Over) Fleet Admiral Premium Member

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    Sisko: I was kinda of hoping for "Love in an Elevator".
     
  20. Bad Thoughts

    Bad Thoughts Commodore Commodore

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    The more things change, the more they stay the same.

    (TNG caption contest crossover.)