Do you believe there is someone for every person?

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by Coloratura, Feb 12, 2013.

  1. Coloratura

    Coloratura Snuggle Princess Premium Member

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    As it gets closer to Valentine's Day, also known as Singles Awareness Day, I've been waxing philosophical (read: grumbling to myself) about the idea that there is someone for every person, that somewhere in this world is at least one person who would love to know you, and be with you, that you would make their lives whole.

    I've generally made the joke that knowing my luck, my special someone lives in China, away from all known modern communications.

    Still, I think that statistically speaking, someone on this planet will share your interests and appreciate you for who you are.

    Anyway, what do you think?
     
  2. RoJoHen

    RoJoHen Awesome Premium Member

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    Unless you're some kind of psychopathic murderer rapist, there is someone out there for you. Sometimes they're hard to spot, and if you're not paying attention, they will probably pass you by.
     
  3. thestrangequark

    thestrangequark Admiral Admiral

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    Oh, my dear! You are far too rational for that!

    And before teacake ninja's me:
    [yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GK-vLOxgLz4[/yt]
     
  4. Ood Sigma

    Ood Sigma Commander Red Shirt

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    I think the problem is in assuming that there's only one person who you are truly compatible with. I think we romanticize the notion of a "soul mate". It may be difficult for people who have trouble expressing their feelings to others, but I think if you are serious about finding someone, anyone should be able to. Just don't limit yourself and wonder if he/she's "the one" and pass up a good thing in search of some nebulous "something better".
     
  5. Bigjoe

    Bigjoe Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    I have to agree,so long as your looking for Love it will show itself to you.
     
  6. EmoBorg

    EmoBorg Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    I don't believe in that. You are born alone in this world and you die alone in this world. The only person you can trust 100% is you yourself.
     
  7. Coloratura

    Coloratura Snuggle Princess Premium Member

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    Actually, statistically speaking, there is someone out there for a psychopathic murderer rapist. We've seen the end results, but yes. Also, that's a bit grim, isn't it? :lol:

    I have an undying love of Tim Minchin. :lol:
    I do think in terms of rationality, but as I say, I am a romantic, and so there are romanticisms that make little logical sense that I like to entertain. ;)

    Oh, certainly. In my initial post I make certain to say that there is at least one other person, and I allow for the chance that there are many, many more.
     
  8. Kemaiku

    Kemaiku Admiral Admiral

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  9. Timelord Victorious

    Timelord Victorious Vice Admiral Admiral

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    There is no destined mate. I don't buy that for a second.

    There are enough potential mates for most people to find someone to spend a good portion of their lives with.
     
  10. Coloratura

    Coloratura Snuggle Princess Premium Member

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    I do agree that actively looking for someone "compatible" dramatically increases one's chances of finding a significant other (or others).

    Well, yeah. Might as well try to find companionship in the interim.

    Are you sure? :adore:

    Oh, I'm not talking pre-destination. I put that in the same category as "soul mate", by which it is a very strongly romantic notion, but even for a romantic such as myself it's just a little too much.

    I'm looking more along the lines of "beauty is in the eye of the beholder". That there is someone (or someones) out there that will find you beautiful/attractive/someone worth knowing and loving.
     
  11. auntiehill

    auntiehill Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Lots of people could be potential mates for each other---however, people are often not willing to compromise; they expect perfection right off the bat and that simply doesn't happen.
     
  12. Asbo Zaprudder

    Asbo Zaprudder Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    No, House even wrote a song about it:

    [yt]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=__DrJI7mTHQ[/yt]
     
  13. Kestra

    Kestra Admiral Premium Member

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    It's a weird way to frame it. There are different things at work. Is there someone who will find you attractive? Is there someone out there who will find you compatible for a long term relationship? And implied in these is that you reciprocate. It doesn't do you any good if someone is attracted to you if you aren't attracted to them, for example.

    In terms of relationships, my views are obviously changing now. I mean, I know I can find someone who wants to be with me in the short term. But can I find someone who I am compatible with who is also mature and would make a dedicated long term partner? That gets into personality traits that you need for long term relationships independent of personal compatibility issues.

    With so many people in the world, yes, there is probably someone out there who would be into you (general you). But like you said, it doesn't do you any good if they are on the other side of the world. So instead, we do things to increase our chances of compatibility. You work on making yourself more attractive to a wide range of people instead of a select few. You learn to be flexible and compromise in a relationship because no one will ever complement you exactly.

    You can't go looking for someone to make your life whole. I've been on the receiving end of that and it's way too much pressure. Learn to be a whole person and attach your life to another's because you want to, not because you need to.
     
  14. Timelord Victorious

    Timelord Victorious Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Great post.
     
  15. YellowSubmarine

    YellowSubmarine Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    If there is only one person for you out there, you're in big big trouble (WARNING: link is too nerdy and too serious for the topic in question). I sincerely hope there is much more than one person for every person. :D
     
  16. C.E. Evans

    C.E. Evans Admiral Admiral

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    I do think there's someone for everyone but no guarantee that everyone will find someone.
     
  17. Fruitcake

    Fruitcake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Or you'll pass them by because you are a douche. Or so full of your ideals you don't see real people. Or welded to some beauty standard that dismisses 95% of everyone including yourself though you don't realize that.

    Not you personally RoJo :lol: .. but really I think "how likable, flexible, able to allow another person into my life am I" is a question that many should ask. It's not about "where is MY SPESHUL PERSON?!" as much as "am I ready to be someone else's special person?"

    And no reflection on the OP either, just the topic.
     
  18. Coloratura

    Coloratura Snuggle Princess Premium Member

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    Yeah, the idea that there is someone who fits perfectly isn't at all realistic, and even as a hopeless romantic I'm not deluded by the idea that someone who likes me is going to be exactly who I am looking for (preposition, sorry!).


    Yes. This.
    I think part of it is just a roll of the dice. I've known couples who met, fell in love, and two weeks later were married, and they've been married 20 years and are still happy. It can happen.

    I think rolling with changes is probably the way to go. Things happen, people change, lives change, that doesn't necessarily mean things have to end for that couple. It likely comes down to perception.

    Now, I'll admit that one of the reasons I use the term "make whole" is because I'm a very lonely person, and I do feel that having a companion is a giant hole in my life. I don't live to find someone to fill it, but my life is very noticeably empty without that companionship. Also, sex.

    I'm a very social person, giddily gregarious even, and I love to connect with people. I'm the most emotionally flexible person I know, and while I'm not the smartest person in the room, or the most handsome, I can hold discussions on a broad range of topics, my interests are many and varied, and I have a high level of empathy.

    In terms of perceived wants, I fit the bill for many people. Of course what is perceived and what is achieved are two entirely different brands of macaroni and cheese. I think it comes back to beauty being in the eye of the beholder.

    BAM! Right on the money, when it comes to how I see things. I consider myself absurdly flexible in some respects, and I wouldn't force someone to contort themselves to my idea of perfection. Personally, I don't believe in a literal perfection, though emotionally I may consider someone "perfect".
     
  19. RoJoHen

    RoJoHen Awesome Premium Member

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    I agree...to a point. I am very open and accepting of most people, and as a result I have a lot of very good friends (more, honestly, than I ever thought I could have). But when it comes to finding one's "soulmate" or "life partner" or whatever, I think there is good reason to be picky.

    Sure, I could be happy living with somebody and starting a family with somebody and probably be generally content, but I personally want something more than that. Being content is boring. :lol:
     
  20. Chaos Descending

    Chaos Descending Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I am "confident" but not "certain" that there is someone for everyone.