Did Janeway finish her Jane Austin Holonovel?

Discussion in 'Voyager' started by Guy Gardener, Apr 3, 2012.

  1. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    And now it's the afterbirth..
     
  2. spot_loves_data

    spot_loves_data Captain Captain

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    That's the nuttiest theory I've read in a while. Also, wow, that's gross. :rommie:

    What sort of 80s rockstar does this guy look like?
     
  3. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    He looked/s (some years ago) like that Michael Hutchings fellow from INXS who died of autoeroticasphyxiation.
     
  4. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    If he still looks like that something much bigger than a vagina should collapse on him.
     
  5. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    If one flattened a penis well enough, ironed it maybe, with a panini press or a waffle iron until it looked like a badminton racket... Could this newly articulated limb be used in the aid of swimming, similar to how a beaver impels through water by flapping?

    Now for the real question.

    Would these altered "men" be allowed to compete in the Olympics against nonaltered humans? And honestly, for this advantage to take any effect, these sportsmen would have to swim nude or crotchless, and lets face it, if ordinary Olympic level swimmers were allowed to swim naked, they would because it might shave a hundredth of a second off their fasted time which is the difference between gold and silver at their level.

    Now for the real real question.

    Arn't speedos just ridiculous?
     
  6. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    No because otherwise the non altered humans would be up a river without a paddle.
     
  7. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Which means that the Altered humans Olympics on Payperview would kick the shit out of the regular Olympics on Network TV.
     
  8. JanewayRulz!

    JanewayRulz! Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Only if the Olympics are run by Donald Trump and the altered men are really REALLY good looking!

    ;)
     
  9. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Good to look at?

    Functionally they'd be incompatible with any gal who had less than a Joker Smile down there.
     
  10. JanewayRulz!

    JanewayRulz! Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Guy, are you out of touch with the Miss Canada controversy?
     
  11. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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  12. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Remind me.

    Where is Canada?
     
  13. spot_loves_data

    spot_loves_data Captain Captain

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    Ever hear of the Pain Olympics? There were videos of it floating around in the 90s (maybe now on the net). I never had the guts to watch it myself, but it's pretty much what you're describing and worse.
     
  14. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    I was totally stealing form one of the red dwarf novels about the Metahuman Olympics, but the penis shaped like a ping pong paddle as a human flipper... That's all me baby.

    Jack Ass and all the the second gen spawned from there would be the equivalent of these 'Pain Olympics' or is it more orderly like Balls of Steel?

    Just had a shower.

    It really is like having a four hour nap if you do it right.
     
  15. spot_loves_data

    spot_loves_data Captain Captain

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    I've never heard of Balls of Steel, but Jackass is pretty tame compared to the Pain Olympics. I did see about 5 minutes of it, and it was a bunch of guys grimly going about the business of self-mutilation. It's closer to a snuff film, from what I've heard, though with mutilation instead of death. We were all convinced the footage was real at the time, but who knows? These guys were all Miss Canada in the end.
     
  16. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Transgressed beauty pageant contests?

    Hell, in ten years, they won't be able to test for sex with any accuracy.

    It's the narrowest of margins these bigots still have a place to strut.

    .
     
  17. JanewayRulz!

    JanewayRulz! Vice Admiral Admiral

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  18. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Her nose is completely weird looking. Like a Modigliani portrait.