Did Data watch porno?

Discussion in 'The Next Generation' started by Guy Gardener, Nov 23, 2012.

  1. T'Preea

    T'Preea Commander Red Shirt

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    ^^That was a riot! Up until the end bit, of course. Then it just got creepy.
     
  2. sbk1234

    sbk1234 Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Did he even need porn? I mean, didn't he just have an erection chip or something?
     
  3. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    I'm thinking he wants it to happen realistically rather than just a push of the little button. He probably watched 10,000 hours of space porn in super fast forward trying to find his personal tastes.

    Data's eyes blur back and forth indicating very fast viewing..

    Data: Computer freeze image.

    Data peers downwards.. something has risen.

    And on the screen, a stray photo of Spot that slipped into Orion Girls Gone Wild.
     
  4. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    In the lap of squalor I assure you.
    Data knew that his mother was an android because she was using a mathematical progression to impersonate randomized 'blinking" of her eyelids. Does Data count everyones blinks for just in case they've been replaced by an android?

    Which begs the question of before his 'emotion chip' what inside him was ever actually random?

    After the emotionchip however I can see some erections just completely getting away from him at the most inopportune of times because he can't restrain the SOB. He can't. His penis has the same mechanical torque/lifting power of a towtruck. Elastic briefs are not going to tell his winkle to behave and confirm to the line of his pants by any stretch of the imagination.
     
  5. Melakon

    Melakon Admiral Admiral

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    Data didn't really need porn, what with Geordi always sticking his fingers into him.
     
  6. teacake

    teacake Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    :lol:

    I can't think which of those two is more sexless.
     
  7. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    General Grin did a recut of that too. It ended with Data saying "Geordi, that is not the correct port." :rolleyes:

    He comes up with hilariously creepy stuff.
     
  8. Tiberius

    Tiberius Commodore Commodore

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    It was descent, he was trying to create another emotional response.
     
  9. Ln X

    Ln X Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    No! No! No! I'll never get that image out of my head now!

    But if Data could erm... thrust with such strength wouldn't he destroy a humanoid woman's sweet spot?
     
  10. Guy Gardener

    Guy Gardener Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    In the lap of squalor I assure you.
    And so could an ordinary man if he wasn't gentle, respectful and polite.

    On Smallville, Clark claimed that the sentient AI of his father that lived in the fortress taught him fine motor control so that he could finally boff Lana without destroying her.
     

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