Deep Space Nine Caption Contest 93: Garak. Plain, Simple, Garak.

Discussion in 'Star Trek: Deep Space Nine' started by Smellincoffee, May 12, 2014.

  1. Smellincoffee

    Smellincoffee Commodore Commodore

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    With foes, friends, and those in-between Bajorans out of the way, we're finally getting to the regular cast. Mr. Garak is in a class by himself, but first -- winners!

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    And now, continuing on the countdown to 100....Garak, plain and simple.


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  2. Admiral Bear

    Admiral Bear Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    Kira: And if could just remember what my next line was. . . .

    Garak: Cut! Visitor to Ore Processing!

    Damar: Thank God we don't have One Take Frakes directing this scene!

    Kira: Shut it, Casey. The only dialogue you have in the last two episodes is "Free Cardassia".

    Damar: I know, but I'll deliver them with such aplomb, my death scene will have Dorn crying in to his prune juice. I'm an actooooor, don't you know.
     
  3. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    GARAK: And don't worry Doctor, I'm not bisexual anymore. The writers put a stop to that.

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    GARAK: The Klingons can see our blasters. I don't know why they keep charging us with bat'leths. Haven't they seen Raiders Of The Lost Ark?
    DUKAT: Intelligence is without honor.

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    BASHIR: Actually it's okay if this character dies.
    GARAK: But if she dies, Dax will... This is what the character usually looks like, isn't it?

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    GARAK: She's the only other Cardassian on the station. But she's a teenager. Must think of way to do this without it being creepy...must think...GGHH!
    ZIYAL: Garak, are you having a stroke?

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    KIRA: We need to be stealthy, strike hard and fast then disappear into the shadows.
    RUSOT: NO! We must fight like Cardassians, charge them head on!
    DAMAR: *sigh* Why is everybody I like so stupid and everybody I hate so smart?
     
  4. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    BASHIR: I forget, what's your wildly inappropriate, sexually suggestive name in this program?

    DAX: Honey Bare....wait, what?
     
  5. Mr. Laser Beam

    Mr. Laser Beam Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Dukat: (stab) And THAT's for drinking all my Kanar!

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    Dax: Okay, gentlemen, which one of you wants to start your physical examination?

    Bashir: I believe that would be me, Doctor.

    Dax: Okay then, but I should warn you, the exam will actually be given by a seven-foot-tall Nausicaan.

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    Garak: ...I did not!

    Ziyal: Yes you did. I'll have to reprogram the food replicators not to serve...what did the humans call it...three-bean salad?

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    Kira: No wait, I get it. They traced the call, and it's coming from INSIDE the house?
     
  6. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    BASHIR: And this blue drink will eliminate our gay sexual tensions for the next hours...
    GARAK: So we'll need to buy another bottle each time we're together? Why don't we just sleep together once and stay good friend after?
     
  7. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    KIRA: We're going to need codenames for this mission. Let's see...You're Moe, he's Curly and you're Larry.
     
  8. Leviathan

    Leviathan Captain Captain

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    Kira to Rusot: GOT IT - you're also Neroon from Babylon 5.
     
  9. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    KIRA: Wait, I'm wearing a Starfleet uniform, I'm not dressed as a poor oppressed Bajoran, you'll not have fun....
    GARAK: She's right...we will make her wear typical Bajoran clothes and then....
     
  10. FlyingSaucrDude

    FlyingSaucrDude Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

    Joined:
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    Garak: Brrraaaaaiiiinnnnsss...
     
  11. FlyingSaucrDude

    FlyingSaucrDude Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

    Joined:
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    Damar and Rusot were not terribly amused by Garak's attempt at ventriloquism using a Kira-puppet.
     
  12. FlyingSaucrDude

    FlyingSaucrDude Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

    Joined:
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    Garak (after Dax inadvertently stumbles in on him in the holosuite): I assure you, Commander, this is not what it looks like.
    Dax: It looks like you alone with a tied up hologram of Julian missing his pants.
    Garak: In that case I suppose it is what it looks like.
     
  13. FlyingSaucrDude

    FlyingSaucrDude Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

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    Kira: It's a FAAAAAAAAAKE!
     
  14. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    GARAK: It got weird, didn't it?

    ZIYAL: Yes.

    GARAK: Yeah. Right. I knew it.
     
  15. LeadHead

    LeadHead Director of Comedy Premium Member

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    Thanks for the wins! :bolian:

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    Garak: It really doesn't matter Doctor, with those ears, Quark will hear our conversation even if we have it in the Gamma Quadrant.

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    Garak: I find this hand to hand combat really quite distasteful!

    Dukat: Yeah, me too. Little help?

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    Bashir: Bashir, Julian Bashir.

    Computer: Cheat code accepted. All objects and characters in this program will now bend to your will.

    Bashir: Garak, get lost.

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    Garak: Where are we going?

    Ziyal: Well, based on this storyline, Law & Order SVU.

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    Rusot, Damar and Garak: (singing) How can there be any sin in sincere? Where is the good in goodbye?

    Kira: Right here. Good bye. One to beam up.

    (Kira beams out)
     
  16. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Kira: "Hey, wait! You guys are those 'Cardassians' I keep hearing about, aren't you?"
     
  17. phenyx2

    phenyx2 Lieutenant Red Shirt

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  18. Armored Saint

    Armored Saint Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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  19. milquetoast

    milquetoast Lieutenant Junior Grade Red Shirt

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    home
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    Garak: Oh! Choose me Julian, Choose me!



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    Kira: I'm going to take this finger and stick it right up your scaled Cardassian ass and your going to enjoy it!
     
  20. Schistocerca

    Schistocerca Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

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    Despite having the best song they failed to win the Barber Shop Quartet competition because there were only three of them!

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    Dukat: You know, if you used a good conditioner it would be much easier to comb these tangles out!

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    Bashir: But she told me she was a doctor and this was the best way to treat my ingrowing toenail

    Garak: Julian, you do know that you can just buy a lab coat don't you?

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    Garak: So lets try this again. When it rains?

    Ziyal: You stay in and I go out.

    Garak: When it is sunny?

    Ziyal: I stay in and you go out.

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    Kira: Go on...pull my finger