Confess your dumbness

Discussion in 'Miscellaneous' started by teacake, Jul 18, 2013.

  1. RandyS

    RandyS Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Randyland
    You can type, "What time is it in....?", whatever your hometown is, into Google, and it will tell you.

    Hope that helps any.
     
  2. RandyS

    RandyS Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    You're not alone my friend. Black holes and brain erosion are what is SUPPOSED to happen when you try to figure out math of any kind.

    I lost the last of my brain to "simple" (yeah, right) addition and subtraction well over thirty years ago.
     
  3. Third Nacelle

    Third Nacelle Captain Captain

    Joined:
    Apr 4, 2013
    Location:
    The Denorios Belt
    When I watch the financial/economic portion of the news, I only understand about 10% of what is being reported. I really have no idea how money works.

    I've never been entirely certain what Escrow means, but when I bought my condo, I put money in it.

    I like wine, but I really don't know anything about it (other than it tastes grapey with boozy undertones). I always just order the bottle whose price is closest to the average of the wine list.

    I know even less about beer. (But I'm an expert on hard liquor & cocktails)

    I never have any idea what's going on with most sports. If I'm watching a game at someone's house, I just act excited when everybody else does.
     
  4. propita

    propita Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 9, 2001
    Location:
    fresno, ca, us
    I had heard the word "brooch" (a decorative pin) pronounced with an "oo" sound somewhere, not the same as "broach" (to broach a topic)--then pronounced it with the "oo" sound in law school. And got laughed at. I was soooooo embarrassed.

    How was I supposed to know it was not pronounced as it looked?


    My other problem? I have no censor sometimes when I speak. There is not pre-thinking before speaking, the words just...come out and I literally have no idea what I'm going to say. I was told that I was well beyond "blunt." I have improved over the decades, but there are/have been times when I literally have a "did I just say that out loud?" moment. I always tried to be very polite to compensate, and became known for saying the most outrageous things very politely. I'm told it's an actual "thing" (a condition or whatever) and not just me being rude, which is why repeated efforts over the decades have had some effect.



    Grape: Things are affected by something. Or, things have an effect on other things.


    Auntie: Simple way to figure a tip? Double the tax. Here in CA, that'll give about 16/17% tip. Triple it if your tax is lower.

    Third Nacelle: An escrow account is basically a holding cell for your money when you buy a home. You're showing good faith by putting up the money, but the seller doesn't get to just take it yet--so if the sale falls through, the money is returned to you and you don't have to fight the seller for it. When a home is "in escrow," the sale and transfer is under way, but it can still fall through. Usually some condition is unmet or the appraised value isn't high enough for the bank to lend that much money.
     
  5. Keeper

    Keeper Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Land of Illusion
    duuuuh, waht?

    Seriously, some of Edison's oldest bulbs burn brighter than me. Well, actually that's not true. Intelligence is present but getting it to the surface can be problematic.
     
  6. Third Nacelle

    Third Nacelle Captain Captain

    Joined:
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    Location:
    The Denorios Belt
    I have the opposite problem. Everything I say has to be edited and rehearsed in my head a couple times before it comes out. I have trouble with group conversations because by the time I figure out what I'm going to say, the conversation has often moved on.
     
  7. Vendikarr

    Vendikarr Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Vendikarr
    One of my daughters is mathematically challenged as well. I taught her this trick for tipping.

    Look at the total of he bill (78.53 for example).

    Drop the rightmost digit, and adjust the sign in your head (7.85).

    Round up to the next dollar, it never hurts to tip a little over (8.00)

    If giving 15%, half that number and add it back ( 8.00 / 2 = 4.00. 8.00 + 4.00 = 12)

    20% you double it and add it back. ( 8.00 * 2 = 16.00 )

    She doesn't even need the tip calculator on her phone for tips now.
     
  8. hux

    hux Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Hard Sassenach in Moist Aberdeen
  9. Rhaven

    Rhaven Captain Captain

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    Jul 10, 2012
    Location:
    Rhaven in Boston
    I would be lost without spell check.
     
  10. scotpens

    scotpens Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2009
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    It's not that difficult, really. Just remember that if it's a verb, it's probably "affect." If it's a noun, it's almost certainly "effect."

    The exceptions to that general rule -- well, that's what Google is for.

    Are you talking about your face? :)

    I always thought a shim was a thin piece of metal or wood that you put between a thing and another thing, to adjust spacing or level or whatever.

    I kind of like the idea of making it a gender-neutral pronoun, though.

    I hear you. When it comes to anything more complicated than my checking account, I'm an economic illiterate.
    I like a glass of wine with dinner every now and then, but I couldn't tell you the difference between a Cabernet Sauvignon and cabbage juice.
    The only sport I can follow is baseball. Everything else is just a bunch of guys running around chasing a ball or a puck or something.
     
  11. Captain Kathryn

    Captain Kathryn Commodore Commodore

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    I figure out what 10 percent is first because that's easy. If the bill is 70 bucks, it's 7 dollars. Then I double it. So I would give 14 about.

    Usually I just guess though. :P
     
  12. RJDiogenes

    RJDiogenes Idealistic Cynic and Canon Champion Premium Member

    Joined:
    Jun 11, 2003
    Location:
    RJDiogenes of Boston
    All I know is that there are two centipedes to an inchworm.

    That makes me feel better. But I can still sense Stephen Hawking shaking his head at me.

    Same here, but that's because I couldn't care less. :rommie:

    So "affect" is passive and "effect" is active. Thanks. That's helpful.

    I use tricks like that all the time to pretend I can do math. It doesn't help me to understand the Higgs Boson, though. :(

    Affect is a verb, effect is a noun. That's good, too. Thanks.
     
  13. MacLeod

    MacLeod Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 8, 2001
    Location:
    Great Britain
    You'll find metric so much easier no need to convert. Unless you are converting from one to another. Then the very quick way which will give you an apprxomiaton is

    1lb = 0.454Kg So just half any amount to convert lb to kilo, double to covert from kilos to lb

    Tempature is a little more complex but to covert C to F

    Double it and add 32.

    To convert from F to C subtract 32 and half it.

    (it's not 100% accurate but it's one you can do in your head)
     
  14. marksound

    marksound Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2008
    Location:
    Planet Carcazed
    Metric conversion:
    Water freezes at 32 degrees F, and 0 degrees C.
    Water boils at 212 degrees F, and 100 degrees C.
    One inch = 25.4mm
    One liter = 33.8 fluid ounces
    One gallon = 3.8 liters (according to the top of a urinal)

    That's all I really need to remember. :lol:
     
  15. Captain Kathryn

    Captain Kathryn Commodore Commodore

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    I'm from Jersey. NO METRIC SYSTEM! :lol:

    AND I don't have to pump my own gas.

    WIN. :D

    (That's my dumbness for today.)
     
  16. scotpens

    scotpens Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 29, 2009
    Location:
    Los Angeles, CA
    Well, not really. The same verb can be used passively or actively.

    "Nine states were affected by the hurricane." -- Passive voice.
    "The hurricane affected nine states." -- Active voice.

    The only time "affect" is a noun is when it means feeling or emotion, and then it's pronounced "AF-ect," with the stress on the first syllable. You seldom hear it outside the psychiatric profession.

    This
    is about as clear as anything I've read on the use of "affect" and "effect."
     
  17. marksound

    marksound Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2008
    Location:
    Planet Carcazed
    An easy way to remember it in most circumstances is:

    Affect = action
    Effect = result
     
  18. Captain Kathryn

    Captain Kathryn Commodore Commodore

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    Yeah.

    You can say like "My great knowledge has AFFECTED my company." as in an action.

    or

    "My great knowledge has left a lasting EFFECT on my company." as a result.
     
  19. Ancient Mariner

    Ancient Mariner Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 3, 2009
    Location:
    A deserted gin joint on the Lower East Side
    Don't I know it. If only that were the case. Unfortunately, being from the States pretty much guarantees that, unless I choose to convert from an English teacher to a Science teacher (and take all the necessary classes to do so) or move out of the country, I'll have no meaningful interaction with the Metric system in my lifetime. :wah:

    ;)
     
  20. Captain Clark Terrell

    Captain Clark Terrell Commodore Commodore

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    Jun 9, 2013
    Location:
    The Captain's Table
    That happens to everyone on occasion. The human face doesn't fit perfectly with the razor. I've noticed occasionally that one side of my face is slightly smoother than the other after a shave. No one's ever noticed as far as I know.

    --Sran
     

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