Cobra Commander revealed (SPOILERS)

Discussion in 'Science Fiction & Fantasy' started by JoeZhang, Mar 26, 2009.

  1. JoeZhang

    JoeZhang Vice Admiral Admiral

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  2. Admiral2

    Admiral2 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Was a cloth mask with eyeholes really that big of a hardship? Seriously??!

    And this "too KKK" bullshit? HE'S THE BAD GUY!!!! The more KKK he looks, the better, cuz then you'll want to see him get his ass kicked!

    Jeezus H... :scream:
     
    Last edited: Mar 26, 2009
  3. miraclefan

    miraclefan Commodore Commodore

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  4. JoeZhang

    JoeZhang Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I can't say I'm a Joe fan but I think that's a horrible design regardless of the source material - like he's stepped out of the 1990s street fighter film..
     
  5. FalTorPan

    FalTorPan Vice Admiral Admiral

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    He looks like someone melted a plexiglas sneezeguard around his head.
     
  6. Yoda

    Yoda Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    That take on 'Cobra Commander' is insulting. I mean, I'm not a GI Joe diehard or anything, but I have fond memories of it from my childhood.

    The KKK reasoning is idiotic as well. I'm all for a nostlagic GI Joe romp, but what's the point of shitting all over the original material? I mean, Cobra Commander pretty much wears fucking blue, with either that "KKK mask" or with that metal faceplate thing. But not... whatever the fuck that guy is wearing.

    Also Cobra Commander is the leader of a terrorist organization. He's pretty much Osama Bin Fucking Laden! Even if it is a KKK mask, isn't that GOOD for his character?

    What is the point of this movie?
     
  7. SeerSGB

    SeerSGB Admiral Admiral

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    The KKK excuse has got to be the lamest thing I've heard in a long time. He's a fucking genocidal madman, the KKK thing...yeah, that's the least of the dude's problems, but that's the point: He's fucking insane! Come on, why couldn't they use the silver metal mask or the armor from the comics? What's up with the escape from a toxic-waste dump Cobra commander.

    Bet they didn't keep the "Used car-dealers fucked by the Feds" origin either.
     
  8. Myasishchev

    Myasishchev Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

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    Man, Golobulus really fucked him up, huh?
     
  9. StarTrek1701

    StarTrek1701 Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

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    That's one of the ugliest things I've ever seen.
     
  10. exodus

    exodus Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    Good God people get a grip! You'd think with how much stuff is leaked on the interne, you all would know already why he looks like that.



    He's a severe burn victim, so he would have to wear the plastic mask to prevent infection.
     
  11. SeerSGB

    SeerSGB Admiral Admiral

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    Dirty joke overload...must not...must not....

    ....well that's what he gets for spitting when he should have swallowed.
     
  12. Admiral2

    Admiral2 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    So we're, what, supposed to accept it because he's got a condition? :rolleyes:

    Howzabout this? Howzabout we don't put in the usual "let's make the villain more human" Cliche ailment and just make him the fucking BAD GUY, 'kay? How hard is that??
     
  13. SeerSGB

    SeerSGB Admiral Admiral

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    Thing of it is, that one of the (latter?) origins of the Commander would have been prefect for this day and age: A small business man that has a bad day-- brother killed, wife dumps him, and the IRS fucks him over-- he snaps, starts a massive pyramid scheme to fund his anti-govt. plans and actions, and as time goes on he goes from a small time militia-type nutjob to a full blown domestic and international terrorist threat.

    Fucks, it's the two for one special: He's human-- he's joe every man in the current economy, and he's a major nutjob bad guy that only cares about bringing down the world govts.
     
  14. Norrin Radd

    Norrin Radd Vice Admiral

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    The movie producers invented that reason, just like they invented the new mask.

    This quote exemplifies just how much a clueless, yet powerful, movie producer can fuck things up.

    I mean, why change things that are so easy not to change? Why put a face outline on Snake Eye's mask? Why put them in black body armor when regular army clothes would likely do? Why change Cobra Commander's mask when either of the alternatives would look perfectly fine on screen? The thing is, this shit matters with GI-Joe because a lot of their appeal was based on their individual, distinctive uniforms which reflected their abilities and personalites.

    I have no issue with them making some changes, but it's like these things are just done on the arbitrary whims of people who have zero attachment to the source material.

    Though I'm a child of the 80s, I was never into GI Joe, being much more of a Transformers and He-Man fan.
    But still this bullshit just pisses me off in principle.
     
  15. Admiral2

    Admiral2 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    Exactly! And the best part? Easy explanation for a KKK mask with eyeholes: He doesn't want people to know his identity! Period! End of Story! No Burn-victim-boy-in-the-plastic-bubble shit necessary!

    Typical goddamned Hollywood Logic! "Well, normal Special Forces clothes aren't flashy enough, so let's make them all look like Batman!" "Gee, we know there's more than one Black guy on the team, but let's take a white character and make him Black instead of using one of them anyway." And now: "I was horribly burned and have to keep my face in a plastic jar so I'm gonna take over the world, so there! :p"

    And exodus, here's why I'm being so vocal: Even though the phrase "raping my childhood" is overused by rabid fans on the 'net, when you can actually feel the metaphorical peener going in, you are obligated to say something!
     
  16. exodus

    exodus Fleet Admiral Admiral

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    My God people, it's just a mask.:rolleyes:

    You'd think civilization was on the verge of collapse the way you guys are making a big deal out of it. He became a snake in the cartoon, for crying out loud.

    How is this worse than that?

    You guys are talking about it should be more realistic. Zartan changed colors, what realism?
     
  17. SeerSGB

    SeerSGB Admiral Admiral

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    I'm still not seeing the problem of the bad guy, you know the blood thirsty TERRORIST, wearing something that looks like a KKK mask...he's the bad guy, he's evil...say it with me E-V-I-L. He's not going to be PC.

    In the comic and 'toon the made did shit that Bin Laden probably wants to crib notes from, I don't think Cobra Commander thinks "Hmm, I don't want to offend them before I blow them up"
     
  18. Admiral2

    Admiral2 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    So is the cloth one, yet the moviemakers seemed to have KKK issues with that one. Are you saying we don't deserve to have reservations about the one they picked?

    He killed and tortured people in the comic. The snake thing, not so much.

    It's not. The fact that it's as stupid as something depicted in the cartoon doesn't make it acceptable. He is the BAD GUY. He should look the part.

    Forget realism. Honor the source material. His original masks are fine, and only Hollywood Logic makes the Bubble-Boy mask a sensible change.
     
  19. SeerSGB

    SeerSGB Admiral Admiral

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    Well there's the whole thing of "It's GI Joe not Tom Clancy". As serious a GI Joe was a times, the word "realistic" never entered my mind as a criticism or a wish.

    Shit, what's wrong with making a toon/comic movie that's sticks to the source material and doesn't try to make it serious and work with the real world?
     
  20. Admiral2

    Admiral2 Vice Admiral Admiral

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    I'll be honest. I do wish for a realistic GIJOE movie, always have, but I would prefer a cartoonish depiction to the "Everything But Actual GIJOE" crapfest we're about to receive.

    My argument would be that CC's original mask does work in the real world. It's a hood with eyeholes cut in it. I see them all over the place in cold winters. Bank robbers use 'em all the time. It's got to be the simplest costume the designers could manufacture, but it was rejected, not because it wasn't realistic, but because the moviemakers were afraid only white supremacists would watch the movie if they used it! Hollywood Logic!

    YO, PRODUCERS! I'M A BLACK MAN AND I SAY GIVE CC HIS HOOD BACK! I PERSONALLY DON'T CARE IF IT MAKES HIM LOOK LIKE A KLUKKER!
     

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