Caption Contest 114: Off-Duty Shenanigans

Discussion in 'Star Trek: Voyager' started by Captain Kathryn, Sep 30, 2013.

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  1. Captain Kathryn

    Captain Kathryn Commodore Commodore

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    Captain Kathryn
    Everyones captions were so funny! :lol:

    Here are the winners~! :D

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    I loved too many of the Janeway/Chakotay captions. :lol: :alienblush::alienblush:
    And this one too in honor of Breaking Bad's finale tonight. :D
    Here are the new captions for your amusement! Enjoy!!!

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  2. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
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    EMH: "This game of cholesterol roulette doesn't seem so bad."
    Opponent: "Send for the lard!"
    os echoed down the corridor : "Send for the lard..."

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    Paris: "Have fun storming the collective."
    Kim: "Think it'll work?"
    Paris: "It'll take a miracle."

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    Paris: "I knew I should have worn my aloha shirt."

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    Paris: "What's happened to Sandrine's?"
    Chakotay: "They all have... Irish accents?"
    Torres: "Looks like the Captain hacked your program, Tom."
    Kim: "The woman has no shame."

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    EMH: "I love the smell of illicitly gained panties in the morning."
     
  3. bbjeg

    bbjeg Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Right here buddy.
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    Kim: Do you want to tell the Captain she forgot her clothes?
    Paris: Just let her be Kim.

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    Neelix: It's my newest recipe, I call it 'If you don't like my food, you can kiss my ass' soufflé.

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    Tom: These aliens don't use their third leg to walk?
    Belanna: That's not a third leg.
     
  4. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Open the door!
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    Kim: One thing I hate about serving on deep space starships: fall catalog duty.


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    Neelix: Oh, I'm sorry. Good thing there's no tipping in this cashless economy or I'd really learn my lesson.


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    Tom: Gaseous anomaly!
    Harry: Body double switch!
    B'Elanna: Technobabble!
    Chakotay: I hate space charades.
     
  5. Starpaul20

    Starpaul20 Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
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    New Jersey
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    Paris (thinking): At least I don't have to eat it now.
     
  6. Bry_Sinclair

    Bry_Sinclair Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    The glorious Shetland Isles!
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    Torres (OS): Eh, Doctor. What are you doing? You don't have any programming that allows you to 'taste' or 'digest' anything. It's going to be a pretty hollow experience for you.

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    Paris: Keep smiling, one of us is sure to get voted onto a sexist list.
    Kim: Really?
    Paris: Sure.

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    The crew had gotten so used to their many space battles, that eventually they only proved bothersome to everyday life onboard.

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    PTB: Listen up, we're cutting all your development and dialogue and screen time from season four onwards. We're getting a Borg with...um...attributes.
    Beltram: [thinking] Why'd I let my agent talk me into this show?
    McNeil: [thinking] Great, there goes my standing as the good-looking blonde.
    Dawson: [thinking] Damn. Wait, what if I strip down to my vest...that might give me an episode every now and then.
    Wang: [thinking] People think I'm sexy! Wait, what are they talking about?
     
  7. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Shangri-La
    Thanks for the win!

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    Doctor: I wonder where this holographic food is going to go... do I have a stomach? Will it just roll around inside me? Will it just fall out the other end?

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    Kim: You got it Tom! That smile is almost as fake and wooden as mine.
    Paris: This is a good thing?

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    Paris: I try to be the nice guy and this is what I get? I'm so sleeping with Kes next episode.

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    Torres: What the hell is that?
    Chakotay: Some sort of alien viewpoint?
    Kim: It's a holograhic picture of the inside of my mother's womb.
    Paris: I wish I could forget having seen that.

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    EMH: I wish I had a sense of smell. I can't tell if these will win her over or not. Or give her allergies.
     
  8. The Laughing Vulcan

    The Laughing Vulcan Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2004
    Location:
    At The Laughing Vulcan's party...
    Kim: "I was going to go with slapping Seven on the ass and calling her 'toots', but maybe smiling will work."
     
  9. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
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    DOCTOR: I'm the only one here who can eat this you know. If you eat this then when you leave the holodeck all the already-absorbed nutrients will vanish and you will keel over from massive organ failure.

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    TOM: Trust me Harry. Acting like an overgrown child and grinning stupidly while waving is the best way to impress women.

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    NEELIX: Tom, I'm trying to feed you, why don't you swallow?
    PARIS: Umm...Neelix? You know we eat through our mouths right?
    NEELIX: Humans eat through the same hole they talk with? Eww.

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    BERMAN (Off screen): Good news everybody! Next year we're adding a hot female Borg to the cast!
    BELTRAN (Thinking): Crap. I'm gonna get fired.
    DAWSON (Thinking): Crap. I'm gonna get fired.
    MCNEIL (Thinking): Crap. Garrett's gonna get fired.
    WANG (Thinking): Crap. If I don't bribe People magazine quick, I'm gonna get fired.


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    DOCTOR: I should tell Janeway. Either program me with a sense of smell or you're HOLOPHOBIC! Yeah, still likin' the hologram persecution card.
     
  10. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Location:
    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    BLUTO (o.c.): Food fight!!!!!!!!!
     
  11. Triskelion

    Triskelion Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    Open the door!
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    Where's Tuvix? And why does this lamb shank taste like hedgehog?


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    Paris: Please extirpate your hand from my event horizon.
    Kim: Sorry, old habit. Before joining Starfleet I was a TSA agent.


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    Neelix: And then the alien jumped out of his chest and it looked like this.
    Paris: Oh, was that the trilogy with the really big bugs that started cool and ended with the complete anal rape of the fans?
    Neelix: No, I wasn't talking about the first Enterprise. This one was written by someone who actually liked the characters he mangled to death.


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    Paris: What's with this program?
    Kim: I think Captain Janeway made a couple alterations to the barkeep.
    Torres: And the fifty salarimen?
    Chakotay: Just smile and back away slowly....


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    Reminds me of motorboating Seven. Minus the chloroform smell.
     
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2013
  12. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Austin, TX
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    Tom...and I slipped. The tray broke my fall. What did you do to make it so sticky?

    Neelix: Perhaps I put in too much Viidian paste...let me help you get that off you *chuckle*
     
  13. Nebusj

    Nebusj Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
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    The Doctor's forgotten the first rule of holo-dieting: never eat anything larger than your head. Now his program will have to expand his head routine to fit.

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    ``Oh, lord, we stumbled into a Bronies con. Wave and sidle backwards, Garret!''

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    ``That's odd,'' thought Tom. ``My chest doesn't usually explode cheesy hash browns that they have to deflect from innocent bystanders. This time of year it's more often tater tots.''

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    ``We're never going to get back to the Alpha Quadrant if the Captain insists we visit every single souvenir shop looking for the perfect memento of the Delta Quadrant.''
    ``Shut up and count your blessings she decided it doesn't have to be Neelix.''

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    Man, you know you're on a bad camping trip when the trees punch you in the nose.
     
  14. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

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    PARIS: So, I guess you heard about me and Kes?
     
  15. Nerys Myk

    Nerys Myk The Real Me Premium Member

    Joined:
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    Down in the tube station at midnight
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    KIM: Thanks for doing this Tom. I'm trying to convince my parents I have friends.


    TOM: Remember, we agreed to cash.
     
  16. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
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    Between the candle and the flame
    Paris: "How did you get it to hang in mid-air like that?"
     
  17. Mistral

    Mistral Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
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    Between the candle and the flame
    PARIS AND KIM IN 2412

    "We'll get you home again!"
     
  18. Finn

    Finn Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Mar 30, 2006
    Location:
    Austin, TX
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    *Two hours after Voyager's return home*

    Tom Paris: Hey Dad!

    Owen Paris: (OS) WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS? Captain Janeway, Why would you let him do this?"

    Janeway: I apologize. I'll take care of it immediately

    *Janeway walks up to Harry and removes the pip*

    "Sorry, Harry. Hope you enjoyed it while it lasted"
     
  19. Velocity

    Velocity Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    May 19, 2001
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    In the back of beyond
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    Neelix: Overheard you saying that my food is not safe to be taken internally, Mr. Paris. Let me apply it liberally EXTERNALLY, then.
    Paris: Luckily for me, your food is once again served-like revenge-very cold.
     
  20. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
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    NEELIX: You said my food was DEESGAHSTING!
    JANEWAY (OS): That's my line!
     
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