Captain Picard Prank

Discussion in 'The Next Generation' started by Captain McBain, Apr 6, 2013.

  1. All joking aside, what do you think Picard would do if one of his senior officers rigged a bucket of cold water so that it would dump on his head as he entered his quarters? Do you think they'd get busted down in rank? Severely reprimanded? Let's assume that this occurs during a routine investigation of an interstellar dust cloud.
     
  2. Melakon

    Melakon Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2012
    Location:
    Melakon's grave
    Few people would have security access to Picard's quarters, so suspects would be quickly identified thanks to the ship's computer, which keeps track of such things (shown during "In Theory" after Spot escapes Data's quarters).

    Enterprise doors are not hinged and do not open inward, so balancing said bucket is a potential obstacle to achieving the prank.

    A Starfleet officer would not do that, as they are evolved beyond stupid juvenile stunts. :angel:

    But what would Picard do? Court-martial, guilty, and the culprit is summarily beamed into space on wide dispersion during a "transporter accident". :evil:

    Edit: Michael Dorn once said that when standing at the tactical console, always seeing the top of Patrick's head, he thought about throwing an egg at it.
     
    Last edited: Apr 6, 2013
  3. The bucket could be rigged in some other way.
     
  4. Admiral_Sisko

    Admiral_Sisko Lieutenant Commander

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2006
    I suppose one could use a microtransporter to beam a bucket of water into Picard's quarters in response to his triggering of the door's proximity sensors when he enters.
     
  5. od0_ital

    od0_ital Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Aug 23, 2001
    Location:
    Nacogdoches, Texas
    ^

    Still be a computer record of who did it, though.

    Agreed that it wouldn't be considered by Starfleet officers, because they're professional adults & all that.

    But the E-D did have a large complement of children on board...though I doubt any of 'em would have the knowledge and/or ability to pull of a stunt like that. Or the testicular fortitude to dump water on the ship's captain...
     
  6. Gaith

    Gaith Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 11, 2008
    Location:
    San Francisco, CA
    Oddest. Thread. Ever. :cardie:


    [​IMG]
     
  7. Admiral_Sisko

    Admiral_Sisko Lieutenant Commander

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2006
    Would there? Anyone willing pull off such a prank would doubtless have found a way to cover his or her tracks. A Maquis operative could easily pull together a scheme like this.
     
  8. Admiral_Sisko

    Admiral_Sisko Lieutenant Commander

    Joined:
    Oct 7, 2006
    You're calling something to do with Star Trek odd? I thought the whole purpose of the show was to "boldy go where no one has gone before." That's what we're doing. :techman:
     
  9. marksound

    marksound Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    Nov 19, 2008
    Location:
    Planet Carcazed
    What would he do? Did you see what he did to the Borg on the holodeck?

    That was a mild overreaction. :lol:
     

  10. :guffaw:
     
  11. R. Star

    R. Star Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Jun 15, 2012
    Location:
    Shangri-La
    You sir, have been watching too much TNG recut! :p

    Though really, I'd see him throw the book at anyone stupid enough to do something like that. They'd deserve it really. A formal reprimand, along with getting the crappy assignments for the next year at least.
     
  12. Melakon

    Melakon Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2012
    Location:
    Melakon's grave
    I've only seen a few, and not in weeks, so it must have been a subconscious influence.

    What really surprised me is out of all the ridiculous stuff I put in that post, only the door thing was objected to. ;)
     
  13. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
    Stern speech.
     
  14. Flake

    Flake Commodore Commodore

    Joined:
    Dec 23, 2001
    Location:
    Manchester, UK
    Picard would convene a meeting in the observation lounge to announce an investigation into the incident but only after drinking a cup of Earl Grey Tea to recover from the shock.

    Admiral Norah Satie would come onboard to conduct the investigation assuming the incident occurs before Season 4.

    Eventually it is discovered that Picard often wakes up during the night as Locutus and it was Locutus who set Picard up.
     
  15. Melakon

    Melakon Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2012
    Location:
    Melakon's grave
    Q is the only person who could get away with it.
     
  16. JirinPanthosa

    JirinPanthosa Rear Admiral Rear Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 20, 2012
    The first time I saw you, you were (Doing impressive thing). From that moment I never doubted that you belonged on this ship. Until now. When we join the Federation we give an oath, to hold ourselves to a certain standard of morality, of dignity, and responsibility. By soaking me with a bucket of water, you failed to live up to that oath. We are not Starfleet officers only when we are on duty, we are Starfleet officers and must live up to those standards every minute of the day, no matter what our personal feelings or if violating that oath would be really funny!

    Yes sir.

    Now return to your station!
     
  17. not

    not Lieutenant Commander Red Shirt

    Joined:
    Apr 6, 2013
    WWJLPD?

    The obvious answer is Jean-Luc Picard would swear in french!

    My theory is that since the families kept their french traditional names, their curse would have be intergenerational too.
     
  18. Captrek

    Captrek Vice Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    May 24, 2009
    A little pink fuzz on Picard's back suffices to make the entire bridge crew double over in laughter. The bucket would probably kill them.
     
  19. Start Wreck

    Start Wreck Fleet Captain Fleet Captain

    Joined:
    May 4, 2005
    He'd probably be pretty miffed. I don't suppose Picard is adverse to the odd prank if it's in good spirits, but being soaked with cold water is a thoroughly unpleasant experience (unless you're at a hydro-spa and do it on purpose, then it's kinda bracing -- but I digress).

    We'd have to look at comparable examples, and also consider the changes to Picard's character of the course of seven years. In year one, he was pretty grumpy. Wesley accidentally hit him with a snowball and he was not best pleased. However, since it was an accident, and since Wesley was just a child, he kept his "cool" and let is slide. Picard at that time did not want to lose his sense of dignity. Being humiliated in front of a new crew would not go down well.

    Fast-forward seven years and things might be a little different. Picard seemed more easy-going and even participated in a prank - laughing along with Riker has a newly-promoted Worf got dunked into the holo-ocean. Clearly, Picard can appreciate a well-played prank if it's in the right circumstances.

    So, I suppose it depends who is doing the bucket-dunking and in what context. If Riker did it, he might just get away with it, but Picard would have to be having a good day.
     
  20. Melakon

    Melakon Admiral Admiral

    Joined:
    Nov 22, 2012
    Location:
    Melakon's grave
    If Data did it, Picard would give another speech on the origin of All Fools' Day.